So I just found this show on the OWN Network last Sunday and it hasn't been so bad. The general idea behind the show is that Ryan O'Neal and his daughter, Tatum, are trying to reconnect with each other after decades of not speaking. Tatum is carrying old hurts with her from her childhood that her father put on her, including various forms of abuse and the affair (?) he had with Farrah Fawcett, in which she felt as though she was left behind and forgotten about. I gotta say, Tatum's had it hard, although the root fault of the matter is up in the air for me. She battled heroin addiction and alcoholism through the years that she was at the impasse with her father, and now clean and sober, she would like to confront the demons of her past and find peace with her dad.
Ryan, the father, is trying to reconnect with his daughter and try to regain something that was lost all of those years ago. He feels as though Tatum is out to get him, throwing out accusations that he says are not true, and holding onto grudges that are decades old, making him feel as though its not feasible for their relationship to significantly move forward. After a blowup in Washington after dedicating Farrah's infamous red swimsuit to the Smithsonian, the two are not on speaking terms and Ryan's feeling about the entire situation is that there is little to no hope of the situation improving because of Tatum not apologizing for the argument.
My feeling on both of them is that I do see where Ryan feels that Tatum is victimizing herself a little in the situation between them; in this particular episode when Tatum went to another therapist to discuss her issues with her father, I don't feel that she accurately (at least what was shown to the viewers, anyway) described what happened with him at the restaurant. Instead of saying that she was coming at him in a particular way which may have caused him to become annoyed, it came off more as though she was saying she simply tried to have a conversation with him and he didn't like it so he left. It's shown on camera that he left when he couldn't handle anymore; it wasn't that she tried to speak to him about just anything and he just up and walked away from her. The way it sounded when she was telling her therapist victimized her in this situation and I don't feel that depiction is 100% accurate, so that annoyed me a little.
I don't doubt the validity of the accusations she puts at Ryan's feet, as a child of abuse myself I can't really say for sure whether or not any abuse happened because I wasn't there and I hated it when someone didn't believe my claims. Unless there is substantial proof that the abuse really did not happen, I can't bring myself to say the person is lying about it. Ryan, however, does not believe that he abused Tatum, so he feels like she's accusing or attacking him unjustly. Tatum recently released a book in which she talked in depth about her childhood experiences and the pain she was subjected to by her father, which brought their longstanding issues with each other into full visibility. The premise of the show is to help them reconnect and the journey that they are taking to get to a place of peace with each other. From what I have seen, its had its ups and downs, just as any journey with forgiveness would have, and I do think they could stand to learn a few things about each other on the way, but all in all I commend their efforts. Exposing these hurts and wounds on television also takes guts; not just money like some would say. I'm sure that's part of it, but you have to remember that they are also exposing and telling things that for decades was not privy to public knowledge. That takes courage and again, I commend them.
Bitchy Review: In short, both of these people have been scarred in some way by their past, more so Tatum because of what she experienced. Ryan got the scarred reputation and as a result, became estranged from Tatum for many years. I think its very mature of them to try honestly to put these things aside, forgive and move on with their relationship to what they feel a father and daughter's relationship should consist of. It's important to note that they use therapy to help sort out their issues; I think many more families and relationships could be reconciled if there was an impartial 3rd party to help them out. However, I also believe that they hold on to the grudges a little as they simultaneously seek to forgive for them. Forgiveness, I am learning, doesn't work that way and I hope that they both learn that, otherwise the therapy, the journey, therefore the show in itself, is moot and will do nothing but constantly put salt in wounds that are obviously still open. I don't know if there will be a 2nd season of this show, but I would like to see them move past everything and begin to rebuild. Hats off to them both; its never an easy journey to truly forgive and rebuild something that was shattered and remained that way for decades. It's a mature thing to do and I wish them the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment