Bitchy Review: Who The (Bleep?) Did I Marry?

Who The [Bleep] Did I Marry? debuted on the ID Network last August and from the previews I saw, it looked rather interesting but I was never quite able to catch it. I saw the newest episode on Saturday and wasn't disappointed. The premise of the show is about a couple who (obviously) gets married and not long after, one of the pair suspects something in the sink isn't quite clean about their new husband or wife. The story then unfolds, with commentary from the innocent party, from the beginning to their current state.

The episode I caught was about the former governor of New Jersey, James Greevey, and his marriage to Dina Matos. We all know how that story ended, so there's no need to rehash. The show's premise is certainly intriguing and even though I watched this particular story come out in full, humiliating detail in the press along with everyone else, there wasn't this much insight into it then so I still walked away having learned something about it. The press was mainly focused on the sordid details surrounding the entire situation, and since that is their job I can say they succeeded on making the story as juicy as possible. But underneath that, someone was still hurt--very much so--by having this happen to them, and in the public eye no less. When this story broke in its entirety, it went national immediately and in the blink of an eye, Dina Matos was no longer just the First Lady of NJ, she was a target. She was a target for meaner-spirited people who asked how she could not have possibly seen the signs sooner, for being a golddigger for marrying an "obviously" gay man to get in the public eye, but mostly she was a target for people's pity.

Personally, my heart went out to her, but it was because she had to maintain such a level of professionalism almost to the level of detachment about the whole thing because it was in front of the entire nation the whole time. She had no choice but to take the high horse and be quiet and that, I would imagine, has to be unbearable. There really was no way for her to save face except to pray for the next big story to come out so she can quietly fade away, which is exactly what she did following his resignation and their subsequent divorce. And sure enough, when the next sordid story hit the press, most of the national outlets forgot about her. Jim Greevey was thrown to the lions, and he deserved it. But people wanted to know about the jilted wife and what happened to her; Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? answered those questions.

Bitchy Review: The show, although the enjoyment comes at the expense of the jilted spouse, is quite interesting because it shows that you never know who you're marrying. In this day and age, its not too hard to do your work and find out. It's not being suspicious or anything like that, its simply reassuring yourself that you're making the right decision in that manner. Of course, not everyone's life history is able to be found online so I suppose no method of investigating yourself is fool-proof. If nothing else, this show serves as a huge PSA to be careful of who you allow into your life. I like that the show is only 30 minutes; it's not full of irrelevant details, and is a firsthand perspective from who the events happened to, not third party commentary with speculations and assumptions. I would imagine also that for these people, this show gives them the chance to tell their story as it happened to them and how they got through it. Some of the craziest things you hear end up happening to these men and women--yeah, there have been more than a couple of these stories in which the woman was in the wrong, not the man. The show helps to end gender-based stereotypes as to which gender does dealbreaking things in a marriage and I enjoy watching it.

Bitchy Rating: 3 (out of 5) just bitchy enough

If you're interested, Who The (Bleep?) Did I Marry? comes on every Saturday at 8pm EST on the ID channel, that's Channel 192 for Dish subscribers and 285 for DirecTV subscribers. Repeats of the episodes will begin airing on the OWN Network next month as well; Dish subscribers will find this on Channel 189 and DTV subscribers on 279.

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FN Cancellation

For all FN foodies, a cancellation has hit the already beginning to plummet network. Remember that show "Dessert First?" The news was recently leaked that despite several episodes of the second season have already been taped, the network decided not to renew the show and air a second season. Why, you might ask? Because it came out that many of Anne Thornton's recipes were merely rip-offs of other recipes made famous by Martha Stewart and The Barefoot Contessa's Ina Garten, just to name a couple.

The article I read this from specified a couple of Stewart & Garten's more recognized and signature recipes and Thornton's "twist" on them, which for some cases was only a bit of orange zest on top or a fruit topping of strawberries as opposed to just syrup. I am guessing that someone tipped the network off that the similarities between these recipes were too striking and in a surprise move, FN actually listened. After reviewing Anne's cookbook against the recipes she was said to have plagiarized, the producers and the network became concerned as the wording was also more similar than they originally noticed. Upon reviewing the first season, there were simply too many common factors between the others' recipes and Thornton's. At that point, the network made the decision to yank the show from the air.

When asked about the cancellation initially, Anne responded that the show was pulled from the network strictly for performance and ratings reasons. Later on, she was asked about the "real" reason for the show's cancellation and she gave a rather basic response along the lines of that everyone pretty much rips off of others. The example she used was her lemon squares recipe, one of the recipes speculated to be a rip off of Ina Garten's lemon squares. She said that Ina Garten is one of her idols but that there are only so many ways to remake the same item. On that note, I can agree with her, because for many recipes, especially ones that are baked, the skeleton is pretty much the same. Other than minor twists to provide certain flavors, you can't remake lemon squares. The same basic factors have to be there, otherwise you didn't make lemon squares. I'll give her that point.

However, don't try to pass it off as your own when really, minus an ingredient or two, it's someone else's hard work that you're baking on national television. Admit where the inspiration came from, admit whatever twist or variation you may have implemented. Otherwise Anne comes off looking exactly how she did--like she stole it. Maybe she didn't intend to and she was honestly trying to put her own twist on it. That's fine. But not originally giving credit where its due is where she messed up and lost credibility, and her show for that matter. Ina Garten is already a very popular celebrity chef and FN has no problem giving her more airtime for specials and whatever other cooking related show they want her to do. Martha Stewart is doing quite nicely for herself on Hallmark. Why would they feature a ripoff of popular recipes when both originators are still on the air and capable of doing such themselves? This idea is especially true because since BC got revamped, Ina's been going through her old recipes and putting a new spin on them anyway--it's very likely that at some point she could have revamped her lemon squares herself. There would be no reason to have another chef on the same network airing repeats of recipes Ina made from scratch.

So to save face, FN yanked the show and hasn't spoken another red word about it. I can't say I blame them, their already slipping credibility would have taken another hit if more people had come forward with these accusations and they continued to ignore them. Not to mention that legally, both Ina & Martha could sue the network if they found credible proof themselves that Thornton's recipes were in fact plagiarizations of their own creations and the creators kept her on the air anyway. The entire fiasco could have been avoided if they had looked first to ensure there would be no issues before airing the show. I understand how is someone to know that certain recipes are actually someone else's handiwork, but at the same time people's reputations are either being established or tarnished here. Do the work. From the report, even the wording between cookbooks was similar--it sounds to me that these similarities would have been rather easy to spot had someone actually taken the time to look, instead of airing an entire season and taping another one before looking into it. I can't say that this was an honest mistake rather than simply the lazy slipping between the cracks of a network greedy to get more shows on the network, quality or content irrelevant.

It has been said many times that FN as a whole is slipping, and I'm prone to agree. I used to be an avid FN watcher and when they first started bringing on a couple of new faces, giving familiar faces new shows (Giada at Home ring a bell? How about one of Bobby Flay's many shows?) or changing up sets a few years ago (hello 30 Minute Meals!) it was something to get used to, but I was open to it. When they scrapped two hours of programming for more reality crap, got rid of the Fine Living Network and made it the Cooking Channel (or the former FN chef graveyard, whichever way you want to look at it lol) then proceeded to add even more  new faces to the lineup, I began to grow a little weary. I remember wondering around 2007 sometime if FN would ever figure out how to enter the reality world. Other than a few cooking or baking competitions, at that time FN was dominated by how-to programming, and I loved it. I am guessing I spoke too soon, because next thing I knew the disaster better known as Private Chefs of Beverly Hills was premiering. That, to me, was the beginning of the end. And indeed it was. Before I knew it, instead of ending the programming on the weekends at noon like they always did, it was ending at eleven. And then ten. Hell, one Sunday it ended at nine. After a Semi-Homemade mini-thon. Are you serious? The rest of the day was dominated by reality bs of varying kinds and that is how its been ever since. The Cooking Channel has been a somewhat less than acceptable substitute, but if there's more actual food related programming and less reality trash on there, I'll take it.

Back to topic though. In short, Anne may have had the honest intention of putting 'a twist' on recipes she enjoyed. All home chefs do, so who would I be to judge? That's completely fine. However, I am not only not writing a cookbook about said recipes, I am not taking them to national television and airing them--while the recipe's originator is on the same network. That was plain stupid on her part, and even dumber on the network for risking a lawsuit and not checking first.

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Bitchy Review: Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal

The new season of this show is debuting on OWN tonight and I have to say, I like the premise of this show. Usually with stories of betrayal, it ends in a Snapped or Scorned: Love Kills type of manner. This show, however, focuses on relationships that survive the betrayal when a spouse commits adultery. Each episode features two couples, one of whom cheated on the other, with commentary on what lead into these events from both parties leading up to, during, and after the duration of the affair. Most times the couple's therapist serves as the third commentary of the show to explain the couple's problem and how they learned and eventually overcame the shock of the betrayal. Most if not all of the couples I have seen featured on the show went to counseling at some point to help them gain closure and come back together, something that I feel is always an A+ for effort step in the right direction. And all of them have said at the end of their episode that their relationship made it through the rough period; rather than merely surviving the marriage is now thriving and in this day and age where a couple divorcing hardly warrants a raise of an eyebrow, it is kind of inspiring to see the power of forgiveness and love, and lots of hard work. Genuine forgiveness is hard to come by but these couples have done it--the cheater forgiving themselves, and the spouse forgiving the cheater.

I like this show--many times when a spouse cheats, its immediate grounds for divorce. I don't condone cheating in any way, especially in a marriage. That bond is sacred to me and one that shouldn't be spat on in such a way as taking another to bed and actually establishing a relationship with said person is even worse. I was very interested to see how the possibility or appeal of an affair came up in these various situations and I was forced to change my own opinion on cheating after coming into more understanding. After watching a few episodes, I realized that I have been in some of those same situations and experiencing some of those same emotions myself in relationships. The difference is cheating goes so far against my moral fiber that I'd rather be miserable with them or alone than have that on my conscience. I learned an important lesson watching this show--it is entirely possible for a man or woman to cheat only once and honestly and truly regret it. And in that same token, it is entirely possible that their spouse has the opportunity to forgive them for it, honestly and truly. I was also able to learn that there is a difference between a cheating person and a person that makes a mistake, which is where my changed opinion comes into play.

Before I watched this show, I figured all cheaters were the same and I was a large fan of the old adage, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I watched a couple of episodes of the show, however, and I had to revise that opinion. These men and women genuinely loved their spouses and their children. They had no desire to hurt them or destroy their marriages when they made the decisions that they did. The stories were realistic and their reasons ranged widely--boredom, loneliness, struggles within the relationship, fear, grief over the loss of a parent, financial struggles, feeling trapped--I haven't one time heard the reason for cheating that I am used to, which was that the person either got greedy and wanted to have their cake and eat it too, or that they just didn't care enough about their spouse to want to be faithful to them. I didn't condone what they did or how they handled their individual situations after hearing their reasoning or the path that lead them to feel this decision was right, but I was allowed more insight and it helped me to not be so judgmental. And contrary to what many say, sometimes the spouse of the cheater is, at least sometimes, partially to blame for their spouse straying. No, they did not force their partner to cheat. However, some of their actions may have contributed to their partner cheating and it usually took the couple visiting therapy for them to see where both may have played a part in the other's actions. At some point, most if not all of the spouses who were guilty of having the affair broke down when they realized the toll and the pain they put on the person they loved the most, or at the prospect of losing their families and all they had built. These are people who made mistakes and it nearly (and in some cases did for awhile) cost them their marriages and families. They committed themselves to rebuilding what they destroyed and are now happy, still married (or remarried) and best of all, faithful. Now if the person's inclination is more towards that of "I can have my cake and eat it too," then that's probably a cheating person and the old saying rings true. However, not everyone who cheats has that mentality and some are genuinely sorry for it. I learned that there is a distinct difference.

Saturday's debut focused on two couples--Rosalyn & Cregg, and Scott & Sherry. Rosalyn & Cregg were a former military couple who had just become parents when Cregg made the decision not to re-enlist. Finding work became more difficult and before long, they were in dire financial straits. He found a repair job working for a recently widowed neighbor, and some time after that she begins exchanging money for Cregg's bills for sex with him. I won't blow the ending but it's a biggie. Scott & Sherry were newlyweds and first-time parents, when Sherry noticed a disconnect and started asking Scott to spend more time with her and the baby. Scott, feeling trapped, began to view his marriage as a burden and eventually gravitated towards a receptionist he worked with, leading to an affair between the two. Just as Cregg did, Scott tells the details of the affair and his honest thoughts during that time, with Sherry & Rosalyn responding in their individual confessionals how they were feeling and acting on during that time. All in all, it was a good season premiere. 

I applaud this show for being honest and unbiased, and not sugarcoating either half of the story or victimizing the spouse or villainizing the cheater. I also like that the story is told firsthand from the individual's point of view and the cheater takes ownership of his/her decisions and explains their reasoning. The show is very candid and I would imagine that especially for the ones who have remorse or shame for their actions, being candid on national tv is no easy feat. It takes a certain level of honesty to even admit to oneself that there was a mistake, takes even more to admit it to one's partner, but to admit it to the world is another thing entirely and even though it is their own fault, I still commend the spouse who committed the adultery for being able to discuss the issue and take ownership in such a public format. Just because I or my loved ones know I made a mistake doesn't mean I want to admit it to the world, so actually I have to commend everyone who participates in the show. I still don't condone cheating in any way, shape, matter or form but now I have some insight. I have been able to see what real forgiveness can do, and that is always amazing to me. Cheating has been lauded for so long as the unforgivable sin, and these spouses loved their marriages and partners so much that they put on their rainboots and braved the storm. These couples buck the statistics every day and I enjoy watching the show.

Bitchy Review: I suggest this show if you are having trouble believing that forgiveness and love really save the day, if you (like me) have a problem forgiving because it is inspiring to see these people really fight for their marriages, or if you would like to see something other than today's norm of people getting married and divorced in the blink of an eye without really doing any work to save it. This show proves that it really is possible to recover after a spouse commits adultery. Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal is honest even at the worst parts, candid, but inspiring in a way and I suggest you watch it sometime. The show comes on every Saturday at 9pm EST on the OWN Network, that's 189 for Dish subscribers and 279 for DirecTV viewers.

Bitchy Rating: 4 (out of 5)

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Bitchy Review: Zane's Sex Chronicles

Alright, so I got a day off from homework and whatnot so I thought I'd put up a review or two of some stuff I watched this past week. Last weekend the hubz and I were looking for something to watch and stumbled upon the show. Zane and the content of her books have been the subject of a friendly debate between him and I for awhile now, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to see his opinion on the show and expand our debate. My mom and I actually caught an episode of this show about a month before hubz and I moved in together and we found it hilarious; I'll explain why in a minute. Now before any of you raise your brows that I was watching a softcore with my mom, let me explain something and get a little sentimental for a second.

My mom and I have probably the most open relationship of any parent-child that I know and she truly is my very best friend. I can tell her any and everything, can discuss so many things with her, and I trust her with all I have. She knows when to be my mom and when to be my friend and acts accordingly, which I have appreciated so much through the years. We can watch something completely dumb, like softcore lite, and dissolve into giggles. Now if its something more risque, then of course this toes the line and we won't watch that. But something more along the lines of a simulation, then we're all on it--to ogle the man, to critique (or laugh at) the "acting"....or the woman lol, to analyze the plotline--whatever. And I'm trying to teach her about Zane and the world of erotica, so I figured why not watch and see what she thinks? Was hilarious to say the least. But yeah...my mom is my best friend and closest confidante..because our relationship has always been open so that I did not feel as though I could not talk to her about what was going on in my life, we can watch silly things like that without batting an eyelash. And I love it. Some kids, even grown ones, cannot even mention porn around their parents. But my mom is a total boss and that's why I can. lol

Now anyway, hubz and I saw that the program was on last weekend so we figured, what the hell, let's watch it. Within 5 minutes, both of us were a little on the 'wtf?' side of the spectrum. I've always pumped Zane up to hubz, because I felt that he had a rather stereotypical view of Zane and her books. He, like many other people, most of who have never even read an entire Zane novel from start to finish, classify her work as straight porn or think the entire book revolves around sex. I disagree--I just feel that the way she describes the sexual content in the book is better than most others I read because instead of rawdoggish degrading sex, she finds a way to make it sensual or romantic or whatever the mood in the novel suggests. If the characters in the book are actually making love, then the description and content sets the scene. If they are going at it like animals, you definitely know it. There is actually a plot to ALL of her novels, they just happen to feature--gasp!--sex.

With that said, the show differs dramatically. Patience, the lead character of the show, is based on Zane's own experiences with people who email her for advice, to try & cuss her out (lol), who update her on things they have tried, etc. but she falls flat. Zane, even on her FB page (please add her--the page is great)appears to be calm, yet somehow larger than life. The show's portrayal makes her seem as though she is this know-it-all who feels as though she is on some sort of pedestal, above her friends, and takes more of a 'scolding parent' tone with them. I wish Chronicles would show more of Zane the way we see her on her FB page. No offense to the actress (lesser known fact, she used to play one of the Avatars on Charmed a few years back), but to play someone based off of Zane, I just feel it needs more personality. The biggest thing hubz and I noticed though was that the plotline of the show itself needed more continuity, and more...well, you know...sex. lol It is hard, especially for those who have not seen all of the episodes, to come in and get a good feel for what's going on. The segues between the main characters were rather choppy and seemed to jump around, not to mention the actual dialogue wasn't all that great. This differed extremely from the books, where the dialogue was my favorite part, second only to the sex. LOL What can I say, I'm an erotica fan. However, I was pleasantly surprised at first to see that Cinemax didn't take liberties and turn Zane's excerpts into all out sexfests, but it turned to disappointment when I realized there was not only barely any sex at all, but the scenes that were featured weren't risque by any means. I felt that the show in general was, to be blunt, a very poor imitation and portrayal of anything I've ever read by Zane or heard from Zane herself. I'll say that its typical of Cinemax softcore in both content and sex, but compared to the novels and excerpts that I have read from my favorite erotica author and one of my favorite authors period, this was a poor portrayal. It's okay to watch if you have no expectations. But if you expect this show to just bring it with some chips because it has Zane's name on it, you'll probably walk away a little disappointed. Just my opinion. You had permission from the Queen of Erotica herself, Cinemax! You should have used that shit and created gold, not fool's gold. Random fact--I believe Zane has said she wasn't too fond of the "Queen of Erotica" moniker, but even though she isn't I believe it fits. If it weren't for her, many other authors doing the same thing wouldn't have gotten many places. I truly believe Zane opened the door for erotica as a genre to become such a force and has made it a watercooler topic, a go-to guide for your man (or lady) in the bedroom, or a wonderful escape. I love and respect Zane fully but I feel Cinemax could have done better with this series.

Apparently though, Zane's The Jump-Off will be premiering soon, so let's see how this one goes.

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A Little Time...

Hey guys, I'm working on a few new reviews from shows I caught this past weekend and some upcoming premiere lists, so I haven't left. This past weekend I was busy trying to catch up on some very late homework (was only half successful in my efforts though -_-), Monday was my birthday and all of yesterday I spent laid up in bed with a terrible sinus migraine so I haven't gotten around to posting them all just yet, not to mention it is a new week so I do have homework to get to as well. But I've got some Daytime Suds updates in draft right now as well as a few show reviews so just be a little patient with me and I'll get on them. Hope you're having a wonderful week and Happy Hump Day!

--M

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