What I Read This Month: January

Hi! I have a new series I'd like to introduce to the blog; in the same vein as my WIBW posts I wanted to start sharing what I read every month. Since I'm doing a number-based reading challenge rather than specific types of entries this year, I've found it much easier to get back to reading. Well, that and I've put myself back on a schedule (kinda) so I've had a bit more time to read. Anyway, I wanted to start sharing what I read every month, which will also help me stay on track with completing this year's challenge (I've put the number at a pretty modest 50 books). It'll also help me combine a bunch of mini-reviews rather than a bunch of full reviews when some books don't warrant them. I figured each month I'd open a new post and update it as I finish a book, then put it out with WIBW at the end of the month. But I've babbled long enough. What did I read during the month of January?

Rescue (Second Chance #1)--Kemmie Michaels

This was my first book of the year and it was aight. It won't be on my list of favorite books anytime soon, but it was a good book to spend the afternoon with. In this book, Camille leaves a sheltering and controlling relationship with her wealthy, connected boyfriend and starts over with her best friend Marcy. On one of her first outings as a single woman, Marcy takes her to a neighborhood bar where she meets the bar's handsome bartender Ledger. He understands Camille in a way that nobody else seems to, inexplicably recognizing her immediately as a kindred spirit and committing himself to helping her heal. Marcy and Ledger help Camille's sense of self enough to get her back on her feet, but her jilted ex-boyfriend gradually becomes more unhinged as his attempts to lure Camille back remain unsuccessful. The ex, through his friends in high places, causes legal, professional and eventually personal trouble in order to manipulate Camille into coming back, resorting to drastic measures to get her back for good.

Like I said, this wasn't one of my favorite books of the year but it did introduce me to one of my favorite romance heroes in Ledger. Even though I understood the gist of why he recognized Camille as having a kindred spirit to his own, I felt like there was still so much more that could have been explored with him. I loved him though. He was gentle, patient and easygoing the entire book, not arrogant, hot-tempered or quick to run like many of the other romance heroes I get stuck on. lol Camille was okay but per usual with romance heroines, she got on my nerves a little. My major complaint with the book was the manufactured drama towards the end of the book between Camille and Ledger; it seemed a bit random and unnecessary on Camille's part. I know for many books like this it makes sense to have a little conflict between the couple so that the one in the wrong can grow and fully accept their feelings/partner, but ehh. I guess it was the execution of that conflict that I didn't really care for. I also wish we could see their story continue in another book but as is quickly becoming the norm these days, these novels are standalones in a series because a different couple is featured in every book. It would have been nice to see how Camille and Ledger get back to regular life, how they built their relationship following the climax in the first book. As you'll learn is often the case with books I read, there's a bit of diddlin' in the book and its hot but not overdone and actually has a larger purpose in helping Camille overcome her past. That was a new one for me to see and I liked that. This was a good way to spend a chilly afternoon and I enjoyed it.

My rating: 

Sins of the Heart (The Sins Series #1)--Eve Silver

Roxy Tam is saved from certain death one night by a mysterious man who makes her promise not to join a certain organization, then leaves her life, seemingly for good. Fast forward a decade and Roxy has joined that very organization as a foot soldier, which is where she comes into contact with her mystery man from the past again. She assumes Dagan turned her into a monster and feels conflicted over her lingering feelings for him because of what she becomes after meeting him. Dagan has moved on in his life, continuing his job as a soul reaper, but can't get Roxy out of his head. A case that both of them are investigating separately brings them back together, but if it were impossible for them to be together before, it is definitely a no-go now. Or is it? They reluctantly join forces to get to the bottom of questionable events to prevent a war breaking out between Dagan's father and Roxy's organization and realize that the impossible may be possible after all.

I found this book to be infinitely more interesting than I assumed it would be. There is a lot of sexual tension throughout a lot of the book....then some diddlin'. lol I enjoyed the world this book was set in; the mixture of regular and supernatural was done in a way I hadn't read before and I enjoyed it.  I also liked seeing how the other half live; by that I mean the gods of the underworld. The author was somehow able to combine mixture of mythology, the supernatural, modern-day elements and unless I am mistaken, was Roxy a WOC? I loved Roxy; she didn't irritate me quite as much as other romance heroines and I liked that the author didn't use the bad-ass facade with her. A lot of times, the bad-ass facade on the surface immediately melts away once someone asks her what's wrong, and she becomes a ball of tears after that. That bad-ass exterior was the truth with Roxy and I appreciated that. She was sassy, dry, resilient and quick on her feet; wasn't always looking for someone to save her. Also, that bit about the dreams Roxy had been having? Loved the explanation behind them. As for Dagan, he was perfect. He had that whole brooding oldest child thing down pat. I enjoyed reading as he started to realize he'd become more humanized than he'd thought; it was definitely a new twist for me. I loved the author's notes at the end of the book where she mentioned she originally intended to write him as the villain but he revealed himself to be the hero instead, without completely tarnishing the fact that he was still indeed the villain. You can see the exact moment that he becomes both and I think she wrote that out extremely well. He too had personality and it meshed so well with Roxy's. No complaints there at all. If I had a complaint, it would be that I felt the book ended rather abruptly. This is obviously another book in what will be a series, but there were too many cliffhangers in this one for me. I wish the angle with Dagan's brother had been explored just a little more; I felt like it didn't all start to come together until shortly before the book ended. I didn't feel Roxy and Dagan's story was over yet either; in fact I felt like it had just started. I felt like individually and together, there was still so much to explore and the rather abrupt ending to the book didn't really tie everything together just yet. Since the next book in the series doesn't primarily involve them I don't know how much of their story we'll get to read, so I would have liked to see a little more of a resolution on that front. Overall though, I enjoyed the book a lot.

My rating: 

Gia in the City of the Dead--Kristi Belcamino

I think what first drew me to this book was the name Gia. I've always thought it was a beautiful name. Anyway, this book is about a young woman named Gia who lost both of her parents in a house fire a few years prior. Her parental relationships were rather complicated while they were alive; while her father loved her and her brother equally, her mother always seemed to love her sociopathic brother Christopher more so. This adds to the conflicted grief she feels--or tries not to feel--as she blows through her life, intentionally not getting connected or attached to anyone. This all changes after her brother dies and she stumbles upon the possibility that he was murdered, opening a Pandora's box of deceit, murder and drama for her. The possibility that her brother was murdered opens the door for Gia to discover her parents may have also been murdered, potentially by someone with very close ties to the family. After a couple of failed attempts on her own life, Gia goes rogue and tries to lay low, but people connected to her continue to turn up injured or dead. Gia has to fight to stay alive, get to the bottom of what happened to her family, and ends up finding a sense of purpose in the process.

I really enjoyed this book. Surprisingly--for me--there wasn't a bunch of diddlin'. This wasn't in any way a salacious or erotic book; it was simply about a young woman finding herself in the face of having the entire truth of her life thrown back at her as a lie. Having complicated familial relationships myself, I understood the conflict Gia had at reconciling her dislike of her brother with the knowledge that she couldn't help but love him anyway. She discovers that she does still have a heart, it's actually quite large, and that despite her best attempts to disconnect, she found someone she connected with anyway. I loved the mysteries in the book, mixing the American mob in with the Italian mafia, then adding in tangled family ties, property deeds, inheritances and red herrings everywhere. The end of the book was a little 'eh' to me because of how everything unfolded; I found it a little confusing and had to reread it, but I loved what the root of the story was. I also liked how the author wrapped up that root in the different red herrings and made it harder to untangle; I just wish it had unfolded just a little differently so I wouldn't have gotten confused. That's probably my own fault though so no points taken away for that. I was correct in figuring out a couple of plot points that ended up being key to the rest of the story, but it didn't take away from my desire to finish it. I thought this was well-written, had a mountain of growth for Gia to climb, which she did, and it left the door open just enough to give you a peek at what comes next for her. If you wanted to stop reading there, it's a sufficient ending that leaves the reader to make up their own assumptions on how Gia finally gets her HEA.

My rating: 

The Gentleman's Club (Noire #1)--Emmanuelle de Maupassant

I'd originally started reading this book at the end of last year but I think I got bored and stopped reading about a quarter of the way through. I finally went back and finished it at the beginning of this month and overall it was okay. This book was about the downspiral of sorts a man's life takes after visiting a brothel and falling into obsession, then love, with the mistress (literally) of the manor. After his first trip to the brothel, the mistress worms her way into his brain, first by way of his anger at her for exposing inner desires he didn't know he had, then his frustration for not being able to get her to crack despite her repeated success in getting him to do so, and finally his obsession with and love for her. The perspective changes in the book from his to hers, both in and out of the brothel. By day she is a quietly liberated niece to a respected older society woman and by night she is a (by 1800s London standards) promiscuous and wanton harlot, dominated entirely by her limitless sexual desires, giving her a very smug, tongue-in-cheek approach to her interactions with her aunt and others during the day. By day he is a lord and a businessman, very straitlaced and serious, and by night he is a willing prisoner to the mistress' web of seduction and sexual dominance. Pretty soon he becomes the latter during the day as well, but a wall remains between them because of her mysterious nature. The book is gratuitous in sexual content, both traditional and fetish-related (but by the name of the book I don't know how anyone would expect any different) so if you're not trying to read a book that mainly focuses on the sex, don't bother with this one.

For me, it was as much about the sex as it was the power play going on between the characters, the male's path to sexual exploration and discovery, and the female's life of opposites, all of which were set against the background of a society that would openly shun all of the above. Because of her nighttime activities, her activities during the day become all the more ironic, exposing the ridiculousness and hypocrisy of the public's attitude toward sex at the time. I love historical novels, especially those set in 1800s London, so I know quite well that describing the time period as stuffy would be a severe understatement. Because of that, books that show what goes on behind the velvet curtains--the clandestine meetings and forbidden pleasures many people took despite their outward appearances--are all the more delicious and enticing for me to read. I told you I was disgusting. lol Anyway, I liked the female lead of the book even though I felt like I couldn't get a good read on her. Maybe that was the point, to keep that bit of mystery with even the reader since the male lead couldn't get a good read on her either. While she consumed his thoughts day and night, the only time he was even a footnote in her mind was when they were having sex. I did enjoy reading the male's train of thought as he gradually descended into this cloud of confusion, obsession and unrequited infatuation. For a man of those times, such a shift in thinking was extremely jarring and I enjoyed reading as he tried to reconcile everything he'd learned about himself with his existing desires and morals. I was reading the book expecting some kind of climax (😏 no pun intended) but there wasn't really one so I was kind of 'meh' when I reached the end. I guess there's kind of a HEA at the end but it's partially a lead-in to the next book in the series. I don't know that I'm interested enough to purchase it, but this first installment was an okay read.

My rating:

 (My Amazon rating says 3 but that's because I couldn't do a half-star on my tablet. lol)

Wedding Wipeout (Rabbi Keppelmacher Accepts a Challenge)--Jacob Appel

*Mandy's Note: I received this book a couple of months ago from LibraryThing's Members Giveaway program in exchange for an unbiased review. This isn't a sponsored post or anything like that--I wasn't sure if I was going to review this book in full or include it here at the end of the month--I just wanted to be clear about where I received this book since it wasn't a random download from Amazon.*

In this whodunnit, the death of a spinster sister puts an entire family's business out into the open as a massive inheritance becomes up for grabs. Lorraine and Florence Eisenstein are bound to permanent singlehood in order to hold onto an inheritance from their father. If one marries, the inheritance immediately goes to the other sister. Florence decides to break free and marry despite her father's wishes but mysteriously dies on her wedding night, leaving Lorraine without her sister but in control of the entire inheritance. This brings a splintered family back together, where stories get tangled and it comes out that almost everyone has some motive for knocking off their aunt. One of the family's attorneys used to be an assistant rabbi, and his suspicions about his client's family lead him back to his former rabbi and his new assistant for some advice. The rabbi sees a challenge that can only be explained rationally and accepts said challenge, turning into an amateur detective and dragging his exasperated assistant along for the ride.

I'm a little conflicted on my opinion of this book. On one hand, I can see bits of Agatha Christie setups in the book and I appreciate the throwback to an era of mystery past. I liked that the suspect could have been any of the Eisenstein relatives and it was hard to determine exactly who had the right amount of motive to pull off a murder. However, I did think the plot was a bit clumsy in its execution and the way things progressed kind of took the punch out of any big reveals. Everything felt anti-climactic in a way and it started to get confusing with all of the nonessential information that was included. The end of the story had a Poirot-worthy monologue and reveal, which I also appreciated, but the clues that were given that led to said reveal were so obscure in some cases that I missed them entirely. Maybe it's not the book at all and I'm just a bad reader, lol. I spent most of the book feeling as confused as Steinmetz was, which may or may not have been the point. I'm not sure. I did see a bit of growth from Steinmetz throughout the book, but it was slow in coming. I think the rabbi's point was to get him to actually use his powers of deduction and reasoning with a healthy dose of skepticism so that his viewpoint didn't remain as narrow as it was. Sound advice, I think. I didn't start to notice any change in him until somewhere around the middle of the book, when he finally accepted that they were in over their heads and he'd have to ride out the entire case with the rabbi whether he liked it or not. This didn't change how many times he continued to get things wrong lol, but I did appreciate that he finally started to expand his mind a bit. I also didn't think we got a fleshed-out view of either rabbi; other than their immediate thoughts and instincts I didn't walk away knowing a lot about either of them. The bits about them that I did learn seemed to be sprinkled in with the bits we were learning about each suspect. If this is part of a series with the rabbis, I'd like to see more of who they are. Overall the book was okay, but I didn't love it.

My rating: 

So that's what I read this month. I would have read more, but the second half of the month was pretty busy with Black History Spotlight prep and finishing today's two posts ahead of time so I could work on BHS stuff. That's starting tomorrow, by the way, so keep an eye on my Instagram if you want to follow along; I do a preview of each day's entrant on there and a full post on ATV. I was able to do most of this year's series ahead of time, so I may have time to put out a couple of things over here. Not sure yet but keep your other eye on the blog anyway. lol Anyway, I'm hoping to get back to reading next month; I have a few books I was requested to read and review back in December and I need to get those out. What'd you read this month?

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What I've Been Watching: January

Hi! It feels like I was just writing last month's WIBW and here we are, already at the end of January. I've started watching some new stuff, mainly on traditional tv, but I've been getting back into Netflix so we'll see more of that next month. This month's list isn't very long but I did have a lot to say about a couple of the things on the list. Everything else should be fairly easy to get through. So what'd I watch this month?

The Four

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Cocaine Godmother: The Griselda Blanco Story

The Assassination of Gianni Versace

Dave Chappelle: e-qua-nim-i-ty and the bird revelation

The Queens' Court

Let's start with traditional tv. I'm not really one for music-based reality competitions but my uncle and his wife are back at it again with the recommendation bullying, so here I am, watching The Four. lol The Four is the new kid on the block of music competitions, but I like the format of this show so I might stick around. This is a rotating competition, in which four artists are seated and the night's competitors sing in an effort to challenge one of the four for their seat. If the judges (Charlie Walk, Meghan Trainor, Diddy and DJ Khaled) think the person has what it takes to potentially be part of the four, they have to unanimously vote to pass the person through. Each judge's vote comes in individually as a blue ring on the stage and if even one judge votes no, their ring will light up red and the person doesn't get through. If the judges vote to pass the person through, the competitor gets to choose who they'll challenge. Both people perform again, then the audience chooses who wins the challenge. Whoever wins gets the seat and locks it in for the rest of the night (which means any other competitors that night are not allowed to challenge them), and whoever loses obviously goes home. Fergie hosts the show (go to Twitter and look for a gif of her spinning on the show, it's hilarious and so extra lol) and I really like the setup; it's fresh and makes things more exciting. I like the judges' chemistry and the energy of the show. People were up in arms last Thursday because the audience sent Zhavia, the fan (and judge--looking at you, Meghan Trainor) favorite, home and were threatening to go on strike against the show. I wasn't a fan so my panties weren't twisted about it but Twitter was heated. lol If people are really about to boycott an entire show and threaten people's paychecks trying to drop the ratings over one person, then ✌. FOH. Anyway, against my wishes, I ended up really liking the show and now I'm all in. And just like I said back in October--the last time my uncle bullied me into watching a show--I start watching the damn thing and guess who stops calling me when it comes on?? SMH 

Another thing I don't often watch is the late night crowd. I'm more of a Jimmy Kimmel person myself as late night hosts go, but Stephen Colbert is winning me over. I don't care much for the actual shows, I prefer the monologues at the top of the show, but if I were to sit through an entire show it'd likely be Jimmy Kimmel's. I was watching my local news one night and forgot to change the channel after the show was over, and ended up catching one of Colbert's monologues. I used to appreciate the late night monologues on Kimmel's show as a lighthearted dig at current events, but I've found myself much more intrigued by Colbert's more sarcastic, extremely obvious harassment of your president. lol #NotMyPresident LOL Kidding. 👀

A couple of weeks ago, Lifetime premiered their newest true crime film Cocaine Godmother: The Griselda Blanco Story and I have to admit I was really excited to see it. Part of the reason was because I was kind of expecting it to be a shitshow, and the other reason was because she's a footnote in Narcos and I've read so much about her that I wanted to see Lifetime's take on her story. If you've never read about Griselda Blanco, you should. That was one scary broad. Lifetime's version of events is obviously more glamorized than the real one, and it made me even more excited to see the Jennifer Lopez version of La Madrina, but it wasn't all-out terrible. I will say that the accent was terrible. To be fair, Catherine Zeta-Jones is Welsh and a Colombian accent is not an easy one to imitate with an American tongue so I know a British one is probably harder to work around, but I wasn't a fan. There were some bits in her story I didn't know or remember and I liked how Lifetime integrated them into the film. It wasn't terrible, but CZJ got a lot of shit for playing a Latina character. Honestly, that's part of the reason I expected it to be a shitshow--people were describing the trailers like they were the worst thing of life and I know Lifetime's penchant for watering down or whitewashing a story so that's what I went in expecting. It delivered a little on both fronts. lol The former is fine with me because the real story is absolutely horrifying. I would have preferred a Latina actress in the role, but I'm not going to spit on CZJ for taking it on either. It just seemed like a bit of a mismatch. I wouldn't go as far as to say I loved the film, but I didn't hate it either. If you're new to La Madrina's story, you'll come out of it learning a lot about her but it won't be winning any awards.


I just started watching The Assassination of Gianni Versace, so I don't have too much to say about it yet. One thing I will say however is that the styling and filmography on these shows is always amazing. Ryan Murphy be killin' it. LOL The casting is dead-on; I raised an eyebrow when I saw set photos of Penelope Cruz as Donatella Versace but I decided to give it a chance like I did with CJZ and Griselda Blanco. I was about 10 when Gianni Versace was murdered so I remember the gist of the story and not much else, so I wanted to see what this season would reveal. I've learned my lesson from season 1 of Feud and I know now how much FX loves their 'creative liberties' so I'm already getting my fact checkers in order. lol


Moving on to Netflix, I watched Dave Chappelle's other two-part special earlier in the month and to nobody's surprise if they know me well, I loved them. e-qua-nim-i-ty was filmed at the old Chappelle's Show theater and felt a bit more like his previous Netflix special, while the bird revelation was filmed at a comedy club in LA with a much more intimate and serious setting. I think this series of shows was a more relaxed, more honest Chappelle, a much more socially conscious Chappelle. That social consciousness also helped him to say even more raunchy shit in response, which I appreciated. These are dark, divisive days in Hollywood--and the country--right now, and for those who aren't wrapped up in their own scandal, it can be tricky water to navigate. Chappelle seems aware of that in the bird revelation, but can't help but poke a few funnies at its expense anyway. I was angry at myself for giggling....but it was a little funny. Not the harassment, obviously, the shit he said. lol The e-qua-nim-i-ty show was more about Dave's fame, and his rejection/acceptance of it such as it is. It wasn't quite as angry as the first Netflix specials, when I felt that maybe he felt he had something to prove. Dave Chappelle is one of my favorite comedians of all time, which is hilarious to say now because I actually couldn't stand him until maybe the end of Chappelle's Show. I have to admit I wondered if he still had it or not when I heard Netflix was giving him a special; I'd heard about one-off shows in the years after the Block Party, but I also heard about the trouble and the stumbles he had at those shows. I also wondered what in the hell Hollywood had done to him. LOL But I did have my questions, which he dispelled quite easily in the first set of Netflix shows. This second set of shows, however, felt a bit closer to CS-era Dave, and it was nice. It reminded me how PC, how outraged we've gotten as a society (in general, I'm not referencing the assault cases) that now his comedy is considered to be in the Carlin style of comedy where everything is offensive and its an acquired taste. I never had that thought back in 2004, which tells me that either I'm woke now (which would be true) or that the landscape of comedy and society have changed and I'm used to hearing certain kinds of jokes now (which is also true). It sounds stupid, but I think society needs a Chappelle. Sure, Key and Peele had a lock on the comedic part of the style that made CS so good, but they didn't nail the racial part of it like he did. That was what set him apart, I think.


The Queens' Court has the Internet abuzz right now as the latest celebrity gossip show of sorts on YouTube. If you haven't seen it, a weekly docket of celebrity defendants submitted by the people (viewers) are brought in front of the dishonorable judges Ts Madison and Queen Khia and they decide the celebrity's fate. They also roast the shit out of them. lol If I'm being honest, I do find the show a bit petty but it's also pretty entertaining. I wish Maddie got more time to talk; if I had a complaint with the show it'd be that Khia overtalks her. A lot. In most of the episodes I've seen, you can see frustration gradually building up on Maddie's face, either because Khia's overtalking her or revisiting a prior issue and talking about it for too long. I simultaneously live for her frustration and feel for her because I understand. lol Both my mom and I have BFFs who spend most of our conversations talking so I get it.

This was a more random list but I was trying to change things up a bit. Anyway, this might be the last of me you see for a couple of weeks. My annual Black History Spotlight series starts over on ATV tomorrow, so it may be quiet around here until around Spring Break. There are a couple of posts scheduled to post here throughout the month but you won't see them for another week or so. If I can find a relevant way to tie in Black History Month here with some reviews, sites or apps, I'll do that. I have a new series for this blog that'll be posting in a few hours, so keep an eye out for that. It's kinda like WIBW, but for a different category I cover here on the blog. What did you watch this month?

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2018 Goals

'Ello! This was originally supposed to go up yesterday, but I thought it'd be better to start the year with the preview post so I rolled this one over to today. Now in case it hasn't become apparent, I'm a list girl. Lists give me some much needed structure and direction and hold me accountable for the things I want to do because it eats at me to have an uncompleted list. I make a few lists at the top of every year but two of those lists belong to my blogs. I keep them separate from my primary list and each other more as a reminder to myself to give each one my full attention when I'm there. It also helps keep me from being overwhelmed because the master list isn't 60 items long. Anyway, here's my list of goals for RRNT this year. There are a few rollovers from last year's list, but there are a couple of new ones. 

Build up other blog categories and create a more well-rounded site

If you were to take a look at my blog--which, duh, I hope you do lol--you would see that the Beauty, TV and Things categories are probably the fullest. The TV category is mainly being filled up with WIBW, which is fine for me since I'm not good at reviewing individual tv shows, but if I can think of another way to integrate the things I watch I'll do it. The Books category is aight; I primarily review books on other sites but I don't mind reviewing them here if I really like (or dislike) them. The Boxes category is also aight in terms of total entries, but it hasn't been updated in awhile so it's more stagnant than anything else. I'll get into that in a little while. The Games, Tech, and DIY categories, however, are by far the driest and those are the categories I'd like to work the most on this year. The tagline of this blog is "a one-stop review shop." Right now that's not true. It hasn't been true in awhile if I'm keeping it 100, but I'd like to change that this year.

Clean out Drafts folder

I legit have over 50 posts in my Drafts folder right now. Some of them are posts I'm revisiting later but need to make them current, some are posts that just need graphics, many are posts I never got around to finishing for various reasons but don't want to delete, and some are older posts that probably won't work so I need to face reality and delete. lol

Continue to improve at social media

I made a bit of progress last year with my social media but I'd like to get even better at it this year. Right now, my social media schedule and setup is fairly simple. I tend to forget to promote a post on social media after I publish it because I don't use them for personal reasons, so I use a handful of sites for both blogs. Social media overall for me isn't quite the issue it can be for larger influencers but admittedly, I like putting out content and images that are engaging and pleasing to the eye. With me being a smaller blogger, I need to be able to show why my posts should be read. I can't do that if I'm either battling insecurities or forgetting to put it up at all. I improved a lot with remembering to post throughout 2017 but I need to keep that going this year. 

Start reaching out to brands and companies

This goal is mainly for my own growth rather than the benefit of anything I can receive from a company. I already understand the business part of the blogger-company/brand relationship so I know that many times my reach isn't large enough for them to get anything out of working with me. That's a hard reality of working with many companies and brands, especially with this being the age of the digital influencer. If an influencer with 1M+ followers on one platform alone contacts a company with interest in promoting their products, it's quite obvious that a company would pick them over an influencer with a tiny amount like myself. The relationship would be disproportionately favored to one side, and since it's not the company in the long-term advantageous position, they're not gonna give you no play. lol I'm well aware of that so my interest isn't in contacting them for products; it's to teach me how to contact them at all. My issue is that I'm not used to reaching out because I don't have the benefits the companies need so I'd like to learn how to pitch my blog and be able to do so confidently. I need to learn how to network for blogging jobs so my main goal here is to learn how to do it without getting overcome by nerves and chickening out. If I'm applying for a reviewing job, I want to be confident in the reasons I give the company for why I should have the job and the blog should reflect each reason I give, which is another reason it's important for me to build up each category on the site.

Try new mobile and console games

This one is for both work and personal reasons; the Games tag on the site is rather dry and I'd like to change that. I'd also just like to play more new games. lol I want to review games that are on Droid, I want to review games for the PS4, and I want to build that part of the site up a bit more. I was playing both mobile and console games last year but I didn't think any of them excluding Injustice 2 and WWE Champions warranted a review so I didn't put them up. I think I need a device for just games because when I try to download games on my work tablet, they take up too much space and this obviously influences the games I can download. I think I need a device just for trying out new apps and games.

Start posting more DIY projects and start series

I haven't been posting my DIY projects but I have been doing them. The issue is that I figure out a lot of my DIYs off the cuff so I don't have a tried and true method, which is why I don't end up posting them. Some of the other tutorials I'll write out what I think the steps should be before I start and go from there. I want to figure out the trial and error part before I post the tutorial so the first time I do it is mainly a practice round. If it comes out well, I have to buy the supplies all over again and figure out a good spot to photograph each step, and if it doesn't go well I still have to buy everything all over again so I can figure out what I did wrong. When I try to go in and photograph each step as a just in case, it usually ends up coming out wrong so that's why I go through it alone first. The way it's set up now is that I'll see a picture of something I'd like to DIY, so I break it down into a supply list and how much it'll cost to buy everything. I write down what the tutorial should be and go from there. I save any mistakes I've made so I can warn against them or figure out a counter for them that I can include in the finished post. With limited supplies, this can take awhile but as long as I can afford to do the project I don't mind. I love a good DIY project--which is why there are two DIY series on ice--and I'd love to start sharing them.

Start (or restart) at least 2 series

This is sort of tied into the previous goal but I think I have four series I've been waiting to start but for various reasons, haven't been able to do just yet. The three I'd most like to tackle are the DIY For Cheaper, The Pinterest Project, and the Android tech series. 

Correct last year's report card failures

Going into last year, trying to correct the failures of 2016 were very important to me. January is usually the month when I feel the most confident about the goals I set (by March I'm back to having an internal existential crisis) so I try to go into it with as much gusto as possible and stretch it out for as long as I can. Last year I tried to be less of a pessimist, think more positively about my goals and attempt to be more proactive with how I approached them. It was difficult to finally accept that a few of the failures rolled over into this year so while I'm discouraged and not as optimistic about getting to those entries this year, I'm determined to continue trying.


And those are my blog goals for 2018. What are some of your career goals for this year? See you tomorrow!

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2018 Preview: A Look Ahead

Hi and Happy New Year! This is the second part of the post I made back on Wednesday, my 2017 in review. This one is rather self-explanatory; I wanted to talk about some of my personal goals as I go into a new year. My blog goals are going up tomorrow but this one focuses more on me and my personal goals. I like questionnaires like these because I think they're good for evaluation purposes and they help you to remain accountable for helping yourself evolve as a person. It takes a lot of work to improve on self, and obviously you can't improve if you don't monitor your current progress and how to get it to where you'd like to be. Do you ever do any self-eval? I love it but I think I end up doing it too much and overanalyzing myself more than I should. Anyway, I've babbled long enough. Let's get to the questions:


1. Is there a mantra, motto or word of inspiration you intend to use for 2018? If so, what is it?

I'm going to steal and reuse 2016's mantra, which was "Get shit done." Some words of inspiration I'm looking to use this year are 'empire,' 'production,' 'design,' and 'aesthetic.' I want to build my life this year, but I also want to blend the business and creative sides of my brain while putting everything together. Rather than a motto, I'm going to stick with giving future me a piece of advice, which is "Take a step back."


2. What answers stuck out the most from the previous set of questions? What do you intend to do about that?

The lessons I learned, including the negative ones, and the relationships I cultivated this year are the ones that I remember the most. Even though the general tone of my answers was negative because that's how my year was, there were a few bright spots, which is why those are the answers that stuck with me. I want to apply the lessons I learned rather than knowing them but not having any place for them in my life. As for the people I've reconnected or started to bond with, obviously I'd love to continue improving on those relationships. Each of those relationships requires a different approach but the middle ground is that I'd like to continue building them so I'll just stick with that.


3. In what important ways can I restructure my time and increase productivity?

I can work on my procrastination and limit my distractions. When I'm going through an anxious episode, I often need to work with some kind of background noise or something on the tv but this can be distracting so I have to find the proper balance. I need an office space, I think, because when I'm in an environment that speaks to my mindset I find myself staying on task much more. I'm going to steal an outdoor shed from Lowe's and repurpose it. lol Kidding about the theft part but repurposing an old shed and turning it into a small workspace isn't such a bad idea. It's economical, saves on travel time between home and an office space, and is quite convenient when you need a little alone time. It's a thought for future investments.

I also need to put myself back on some kind of schedule. I noticed that after my last meeting with my mentor, I kinda fell off. I'm unofficially blaming Mercury going into retrograde as several influencers I follow have used that as their reason for falling off track (so it's clearly the digital influencer thing to do LOL), but between birthdays, the holidays and personal stuff I just lost my momentum a little bit. My sleeping also shifted again and it's back on a schedule that tells me I've been way too anxious lately, so when I get that under control I'll be able to regain some control over everything else and put myself on a schedule I can keep.


4. In what ways can I do more to ensure my peace of mind and that I think more for my betterment?

I have to take a step back from things sometimes and stop trying to fix everything. The issue with fixers is that they don't know how to mind their own damn business and let others figure out their own lives. When we're running around bothering everyone else, not only is that literally bothering them lol, but the person in question may not even want your help. You may know they need help, but if they don't agree with you then you're just getting in their way. Because we're so busy trying to fix something else for someone--saving them the work of doing it themselves, another bad thing about fixing shit that's not yours to fix--we're not focusing on ourselves and fixing our own mess. And make no mistake about it, there's usually a mess. So I'd like to learn how to have a stadium of seats this year; it may give me a little peace of mind to mind my business sometimes.

I can think more for my betterment by not trying to work above my pay grade and having the stadium of seats. I take on things people didn't ask me to take on or worry about things way more than I should, which helps exactly nobody and only stresses me out. I can think for my betterment professionally by not doubting myself and trusting the process. (See, I'm already integrating that lesson. lol) Nobody doubts me more than me, but nobody sees my vision as well as I do, either. It doesn't pay (literally) to be a wantrepreneur because you're crippled with doubt. Just fucking do it is my philosophy. I mean, plan for it, take the necessary steps and do it right. But just fucking do it.


5. How can I evolve and improve in the year ahead?

Taking the lessons I learned throughout 2017 and actually applying them is the largest way I can evolve and improve for 2018. Those lessons will largely dictate how I interact with others, how I treat others and how I treat myself, which for me are the most important. I'd like to treat others with consideration and respect, I would prefer to interact with others with a degree of acceptance and understanding, and be able to treat myself with all of the above. Not saying I don't do all of that now, but adjusting (note that I didn't say 'lowering') my expectations lowers the chance for conflict because I'm no longer holding onto resentment from unmet expectations, and that means I can approach people with even more understanding and openness.


6. What are your top goals for the year?

My 2018 Goals post will be going up tomorrow so I won't be going into too much detail here but one of my personal goals for the year is to find some kind of happiness in my life. I have said on a number of occasions that being around my nieces is one of the few things that truly makes me happy. And while that's still true, I think having said it so many times has shown me that they can't be my pure source of joy.

With that being said, it's going to sound corny as shit but I'd like to find my joy this year. Somewhere during the last couple of years, finding my happiness has taken a backseat to surviving, dealing with other people's stuff and not losing my shit in the process. I go through larger periods of being unhappy with happiness sprinkled in rather than the other way around and even though life is too unpredictable (my life is predictably bad but unpredictable in terms of the severity of bad shit LOL) for me to say that that'll change, I'd at least like to find or create a happiness to get me through the unhappier times. How fucking melancholy. Moving on.


7. What direction are you trying to take in your professional life?

I'm trying to move it forward. I don't know that there's a simpler way to say that. lol I've been making small moves in my job as both a blogger and solopreneur for so long now and while I would have preferred it happen in 2017--really would have taken my hatred of turning 30 down a few notches--I feel like if I hustle smart this year, everything will finally fall into place for me. I've been saying for a few years that I felt like I was ready but in actuality I don't think I was quite there yet. I'm there now, but I'm also hungry, impatient and more than a little annoyed with the sluggish rate things are progressing at, which is mostly my own damn fault. So I'm trying to move things forward. That's the best way to sum it up.


8. What steps can you take in order to get there?

I'm already taking them. I've been working with my mentor for about a year and a half now and I'm realizing now just how little effort I was putting in really building my plans until earlier this summer. I knew what I'd wanted and planned everything, but in my head. Not anything concrete. It made me realize that all the other times I said I was ready I actually wasn't. I'd put in the work, but not the vital, tedious work. I'd put in the preliminary work but had no follow through. Over the last few months, I've damn near been working myself to the bone trying to improve on my follow through. The rest will come, I know it and I can feel it. So what I need to do now is work on my follow through, go into as much detail as possible with every idea--and then go into a little more detail, and hustle to bring it to life. To be honest, I really hate the word 'hustle' because to me it'll always mean something else. I know the word's gone mainstream and now it has a different connotation, but listen. I grew up in the hood. 'Hustle' to me is always going to mean panhandling, selling shit on the street, jipping someone or slangin' drugs, none of which I'm doing. Hustle is hood slang for getting your money and that part of the definition hasn't changed much now that it's gone mainstream, but the method of getting said money is what changed. It's time to find a synonym. lol


9. What are the biggest obstacles for you to get past in order to succeed?

 Because of the next question, I'm going to approach this without speaking about the obstacle I am to myself. lol As far as blogging is concerned, the biggest obstacle by far is a financial one. My Empty Pockets contract is strict as hell and because of the "You Ain't Shit" clause in said contract, I can never have enough gwap to do as many reviews as I like. That one, purely due to my personal circumstances, unfortunately can't be helped. I'm open to suggestions though. lol

As for my IRL aspirations, the biggest obstacle is finding people I can trust who can help me bring my ideas to life. My hometown isn't LA or New York; there aren't opportunities knocking at every door and this is not a digital-based city. It likes to think it is, but it isn't. It has big city numbers but still thinks like a small town in many ways, which isn't entirely a bad thing. But as a result, younger creatives who aren't in a typical industry have to work a bit harder to find like minds who have the needed skills to collaborate on something. Many people have to leave here in order to be someone, to accomplish their dreams, and I'm opting to stay and try to make it happen here so I know what it is already. Basically, it's difficult to break out here. I just need to link up with the right people at the right time. 


10. What habits or behaviors are you trying to eliminate or cut back on moving forward?

Like I was answering a couple of questions ago, working on my follow through and avoiding procrastination are the biggest ones for me. There are a few things that zap my productivity and I need to continue working through those things or I'm never going to get anywhere. I also have to stop allowing myself to be weighed down by self-doubt and self-consciousness. Both are old friends of mine, but neither of those bitches have my best interests at heart, ya know? When I cut those things loose and find the door of opportunity, I'm good. I just have to make sure I'm not standing in my own way.


11. What new habits or behaviors would you like to cultivate or increase moving forward?

Being more confident, walking in that confidence and fully embracing the raw power of IDGAF. I've read the chapters of the book but I haven't fully embraced it yet and I need to. If I'm more confident, I have less room to doubt myself. When I have less room to doubt myself, I'm less likely to feel like I need outside validation from people other than those I would like to reach. For me, it's a cyclical thing and confidence stops the cycle. Also, now that my foot has completely healed I'd like to start being more active again. After winter is over, obviously. lol

12. How can I be kinder to and more accepting of myself this year?

Remembering that I am enough and I am not a failure if I fail at something. I have to be more accepting of my mistakes and not spend forever blaming myself for both mine and other peoples' issues. One of the most important ways I can be kinder to myself is not stressing to the point of a meltdown over not being able to fix shit for other people. It's not fair for people to do that to themselves and take on the task of fixing someone's life. It's also impossible to do.

Another way I can be kinder to myself is by knowing what I need and being able to give that to myself, whether it be comfort, a bit of pampering or doing nothing at all. It's hard to be kind to yourself sometimes, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. For so many of us, we have to teach ourselves to be kind, accepting and loving not to others, but to ourselves.


13. How can I improve my relationships and professional connections throughout the year?

I can improve them by, in some instances, taking a step back. In other cases, I can be more open with them and be a little more vulnerable with people sometimes. With professional connections, I think I have to be more outgoing, more willing to network and move in certain circles. I'm very closed off, and this isn't going to help me move forward with learning who I can work with or creating meaningful professional links with others.

I need to improve at my consistency with communication; this is an issue I have in both my personal and professional life. I don't return calls when I should, I often forget to return texts, I hate video conferences and I'm trash at responding to emails. I need to get better at maintaining contact, which is especially important with professional connections. I can't make any contacts if I don't ever reach out, and I won't ever make any meaningful connections if I develop a reputation for not responding to communication attempts. I think the years of not paying attention to or using my phone have finally turned me into that stereotypical hermit. lol


14. How can I conquer self-doubt and criticism?

The best way to conquer both, for me, is to accept them both without letting either of them dominate or guide my steps. A little self-doubt is good. It helps you to evaluate the quality of the things you do and tweak them as necessary. Self-doubt, to a level, helps you avoid becoming arrogant and unaffected. Once you reach the level of no longer having that momentary knot of doubt at doing something important, that brief moment of concern at its reception, its time to bring it down a notch. But too much self-doubt halts your steps. A little criticism is good. A healthy critique from a fresh pair of eyes can help you integrate things you may not have considered into your work. Criticism, within reason, can greatly impact your vision and the angle you approach your work at by helping you to widen it to accommodate more perspectives than your own. It keeps you accountable. But taking criticism to heart ends up making you a slave to the opinions of others, not all of which are valuable, relevant or from a positive place.


What are your personal goals for the year? Any personal traits or habits that you need to work on moving forward?

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