Hi and Happy New Year! This is the second part of the post I made back on Wednesday, my 2017 in review. This one is rather self-explanatory; I wanted to talk about some of my personal goals as I go into a new year. My blog goals are going up tomorrow but this one focuses more on me and my personal goals. I like questionnaires like these because I think they're good for evaluation purposes and they help you to remain accountable for helping yourself evolve as a person. It takes a lot of work to improve on self, and obviously you can't improve if you don't monitor your current progress and how to get it to where you'd like to be. Do you ever do any self-eval? I love it but I think I end up doing it too much and overanalyzing myself more than I should. Anyway, I've babbled long enough. Let's get to the questions:
1. Is there a mantra, motto or word of inspiration you intend to use for 2018? If so, what is it?
I'm going to steal and reuse 2016's mantra, which was "Get shit done." Some words of inspiration I'm looking to use this year are 'empire,' 'production,' 'design,' and 'aesthetic.' I want to build my life this year, but I also want to blend the business and creative sides of my brain while putting everything together. Rather than a motto, I'm going to stick with giving future me a piece of advice, which is "Take a step back."
2. What answers stuck out the most from the previous set of questions? What do you intend to do about that?
The lessons I learned, including the negative ones, and the relationships I cultivated this year are the ones that I remember the most. Even though the general tone of my answers was negative because that's how my year was, there were a few bright spots, which is why those are the answers that stuck with me. I want to apply the lessons I learned rather than knowing them but not having any place for them in my life. As for the people I've reconnected or started to bond with, obviously I'd love to continue improving on those relationships. Each of those relationships requires a different approach but the middle ground is that I'd like to continue building them so I'll just stick with that.
3. In what important ways can I restructure my time and increase productivity?
I can work on my procrastination and limit my distractions. When I'm going through an anxious episode, I often need to work with some kind of background noise or something on the tv but this can be distracting so I have to find the proper balance. I need an office space, I think, because when I'm in an environment that speaks to my mindset I find myself staying on task much more. I'm going to steal an outdoor shed from Lowe's and repurpose it. lol Kidding about the theft part but repurposing an old shed and turning it into a small workspace isn't such a bad idea. It's economical, saves on travel time between home and an office space, and is quite convenient when you need a little alone time. It's a thought for future investments.
I also need to put myself back on some kind of schedule. I noticed that after my last meeting with my mentor, I kinda fell off. I'm unofficially blaming Mercury going into retrograde as several influencers I follow have used that as their reason for falling off track (so it's clearly the digital influencer thing to do LOL), but between birthdays, the holidays and personal stuff I just lost my momentum a little bit. My sleeping also shifted again and it's back on a schedule that tells me I've been way too anxious lately, so when I get that under control I'll be able to regain some control over everything else and put myself on a schedule I can keep.
4. In what ways can I do more to ensure my peace of mind and that I think more for my betterment?
I have to take a step back from things sometimes and stop trying to fix everything. The issue with fixers is that they don't know how to mind their own damn business and let others figure out their own lives. When we're running around bothering everyone else, not only is that literally bothering them lol, but the person in question may not even want your help. You may know they need help, but if they don't agree with you then you're just getting in their way. Because we're so busy trying to fix something else for someone--saving them the work of doing it themselves, another bad thing about fixing shit that's not yours to fix--we're not focusing on ourselves and fixing our own mess. And make no mistake about it, there's usually a mess. So I'd like to learn how to have a stadium of seats this year; it may give me a little peace of mind to mind my business sometimes.
I can think more for my betterment by not trying to work above my pay grade and having the stadium of seats. I take on things people didn't ask me to take on or worry about things way more than I should, which helps exactly nobody and only stresses me out. I can think for my betterment professionally by not doubting myself and trusting the process. (See, I'm already integrating that lesson. lol) Nobody doubts me more than me, but nobody sees my vision as well as I do, either. It doesn't pay (literally) to be a wantrepreneur because you're crippled with doubt. Just fucking do it is my philosophy. I mean, plan for it, take the necessary steps and do it right. But just fucking do it.
5. How can I evolve and improve in the year ahead?
Taking the lessons I learned throughout 2017 and actually applying them is the largest way I can evolve and improve for 2018. Those lessons will largely dictate how I interact with others, how I treat others and how I treat myself, which for me are the most important. I'd like to treat others with consideration and respect, I would prefer to interact with others with a degree of acceptance and understanding, and be able to treat myself with all of the above. Not saying I don't do all of that now, but adjusting (note that I didn't say 'lowering') my expectations lowers the chance for conflict because I'm no longer holding onto resentment from unmet expectations, and that means I can approach people with even more understanding and openness.
6. What are your top goals for the year?
My 2018 Goals post will be going up tomorrow so I won't be going into too much detail here but one of my personal goals for the year is to find some kind of happiness in my life. I have said on a number of occasions that being around my nieces is one of the few things that truly makes me happy. And while that's still true, I think having said it so many times has shown me that they can't be my pure source of joy.
With that being said, it's going to sound corny as shit but I'd like to find my joy this year. Somewhere during the last couple of years, finding my happiness has taken a backseat to surviving, dealing with other people's stuff and not losing my shit in the process. I go through larger periods of being unhappy with happiness sprinkled in rather than the other way around and even though life is too unpredictable (my life is predictably bad but unpredictable in terms of the severity of bad shit LOL) for me to say that that'll change, I'd at least like to find or create a happiness to get me through the unhappier times. How fucking melancholy. Moving on.
7. What direction are you trying to take in your professional life?
I'm trying to move it forward. I don't know that there's a simpler way to say that. lol I've been making small moves in my job as both a blogger and solopreneur for so long now and while I would have preferred it happen in 2017--really would have taken my hatred of turning 30 down a few notches--I feel like if I hustle smart this year, everything will finally fall into place for me. I've been saying for a few years that I felt like I was ready but in actuality I don't think I was quite there yet. I'm there now, but I'm also hungry, impatient and more than a little annoyed with the sluggish rate things are progressing at, which is mostly my own damn fault. So I'm trying to move things forward. That's the best way to sum it up.
8. What steps can you take in order to get there?
I'm already taking them. I've been working with my mentor for about a year and a half now and I'm realizing now just how little effort I was putting in really building my plans until earlier this summer. I knew what I'd wanted and planned everything, but in my head. Not anything concrete. It made me realize that all the other times I said I was ready I actually wasn't. I'd put in the work, but not the vital, tedious work. I'd put in the preliminary work but had no follow through. Over the last few months, I've damn near been working myself to the bone trying to improve on my follow through. The rest will come, I know it and I can feel it. So what I need to do now is work on my follow through, go into as much detail as possible with every idea--and then go into a little more detail, and hustle to bring it to life. To be honest, I really hate the word 'hustle' because to me it'll always mean something else. I know the word's gone mainstream and now it has a different connotation, but listen. I grew up in the hood. 'Hustle' to me is always going to mean panhandling, selling shit on the street, jipping someone or slangin' drugs, none of which I'm doing. Hustle is hood slang for getting your money and that part of the definition hasn't changed much now that it's gone mainstream, but the method of getting said money is what changed. It's time to find a synonym. lol
9. What are the biggest obstacles for you to get past in order to succeed?
Because of the next question, I'm going to approach this without speaking about the obstacle I am to myself. lol As far as blogging is concerned, the biggest obstacle by far is a financial one. My Empty Pockets contract is strict as hell and because of the "You Ain't Shit" clause in said contract, I can never have enough gwap to do as many reviews as I like. That one, purely due to my personal circumstances, unfortunately can't be helped. I'm open to suggestions though. lol
As for my IRL aspirations, the biggest obstacle is finding people I can trust who can help me bring my ideas to life. My hometown isn't LA or New York; there aren't opportunities knocking at every door and this is not a digital-based city. It likes to think it is, but it isn't. It has big city numbers but still thinks like a small town in many ways, which isn't entirely a bad thing. But as a result, younger creatives who aren't in a typical industry have to work a bit harder to find like minds who have the needed skills to collaborate on something. Many people have to leave here in order to be someone, to accomplish their dreams, and I'm opting to stay and try to make it happen here so I know what it is already. Basically, it's difficult to break out here. I just need to link up with the right people at the right time.
10. What habits or behaviors are you trying to eliminate or cut back on moving forward?
Like I was answering a couple of questions ago, working on my follow through and avoiding procrastination are the biggest ones for me. There are a few things that zap my productivity and I need to continue working through those things or I'm never going to get anywhere. I also have to stop allowing myself to be weighed down by self-doubt and self-consciousness. Both are old friends of mine, but neither of those bitches have my best interests at heart, ya know? When I cut those things loose and find the door of opportunity, I'm good. I just have to make sure I'm not standing in my own way.
11. What new habits or behaviors would you like to cultivate or increase moving forward?
Being more confident, walking in that confidence and fully embracing the raw power of IDGAF. I've read the chapters of the book but I haven't fully embraced it yet and I need to. If I'm more confident, I have less room to doubt myself. When I have less room to doubt myself, I'm less likely to feel like I need outside validation from people other than those I would like to reach. For me, it's a cyclical thing and confidence stops the cycle. Also, now that my foot has completely healed I'd like to start being more active again. After winter is over, obviously. lol
12. How can I be kinder to and more accepting of myself this year?
Remembering that I am enough and I am not a failure if I fail at something. I have to be more accepting of my mistakes and not spend forever blaming myself for both mine and other peoples' issues. One of the most important ways I can be kinder to myself is not stressing to the point of a meltdown over not being able to fix shit for other people. It's not fair for people to do that to themselves and take on the task of fixing someone's life. It's also impossible to do.
Another way I can be kinder to myself is by knowing what I need and being able to give that to myself, whether it be comfort, a bit of pampering or doing nothing at all. It's hard to be kind to yourself sometimes, especially if it doesn't come naturally to you. For so many of us, we have to teach ourselves to be kind, accepting and loving not to others, but to ourselves.
13. How can I improve my relationships and professional connections throughout the year?
I can improve them by, in some instances, taking a step back. In other cases, I can be more open with them and be a little more vulnerable with people sometimes. With professional connections, I think I have to be more outgoing, more willing to network and move in certain circles. I'm very closed off, and this isn't going to help me move forward with learning who I can work with or creating meaningful professional links with others.
I need to improve at my consistency with communication; this is an issue I have in both my personal and professional life. I don't return calls when I should, I often forget to return texts, I hate video conferences and I'm trash at responding to emails. I need to get better at maintaining contact, which is especially important with professional connections. I can't make any contacts if I don't ever reach out, and I won't ever make any meaningful connections if I develop a reputation for not responding to communication attempts. I think the years of not paying attention to or using my phone have finally turned me into that stereotypical hermit. lol
14. How can I conquer self-doubt and criticism?
The best way to conquer both, for me, is to accept them both without letting either of them dominate or guide my steps. A little self-doubt is good. It helps you to evaluate the quality of the things you do and tweak them as necessary. Self-doubt, to a level, helps you avoid becoming arrogant and unaffected. Once you reach the level of no longer having that momentary knot of doubt at doing something important, that brief moment of concern at its reception, its time to bring it down a notch. But too much self-doubt halts your steps. A little criticism is good. A healthy critique from a fresh pair of eyes can help you integrate things you may not have considered into your work. Criticism, within reason, can greatly impact your vision and the angle you approach your work at by helping you to widen it to accommodate more perspectives than your own. It keeps you accountable. But taking criticism to heart ends up making you a slave to the opinions of others, not all of which are valuable, relevant or from a positive place.
What are your personal goals for the year? Any personal traits or habits that you need to work on moving forward?
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