Broken Glass and Spilled Glitter

Say you knock over a bottle of glitter. It's finely milled, so it catches to the air and spreads over a large area in such a short amount of time you don't even realize it at first. The bulk of the glitter is in one concentrated area, so you get that up first and try to put it back in the container. But if you aren't smart with how you do it, you'll end up spilling it again. So you get the majority of the glitter back in the container. But without realizing, you've gotten glitter on your feet, in your hair, on your face, on your clothes, on random surfaces, maybe even on the wall. For years, you spot random tiny glimmering pieces of glitter in places you didn't think the spill had reached. You can never clean it all up. You can mop the floor several times and still find glitter in places you know you'd cleaned meticulously. You'll take a shower and wash your face but still find a random speck of glitter in your eyebrow. lol It is impossible to not only count individual specks of glitter, but to ensure that you put the same number of specks back in the container after it's been spilled. I feel like that spill is my recovery process with anxiety. It's everywhere. It bleeds into places I didn't think it could reach. And of course, I could always spill the container again. I have to be careful with where I place it, what I place it around, and make sure the cap is on tightly or I could knock it over. Anxiety feels a lot like that. I have most of the glitter back in the container, but I always find specks of it where and when I least expect to. It's with me for life and I'll probably never be completely rid of it.

With glass, say you break a knick-knack. You can't just toss the figurine; say it's a one of a kind piece and was made just for you. You can't have the piece recommissioned. And even if you did, it wouldn't be the same. You can't recall from memory exactly what it looked like before the break because you never paid any attention to it, but you hope that its a clean break so you can put the pieces back together and for the most part, it is. You've got some loose shards and tiny fragments but you'll be able to put the figurine back together. But when you do that, you notice tiny pieces are missing that are so small you'll never be able to glue them back to the figurine, but they don't cause the piece to lose its shape. Those missing pieces, however tiny, are obvious though, and the figurine no longer fits on the shelf with the other pieces in the same way it once did. Once you've done all you can do with it, it has new value because you don't want it to break again. You know the figurine won't survive another break. It's still beautiful, but you kick yourself for not taking the time to really look at it before it broke. You know and get used to it for the imperfect piece it is now, not for the whole piece it was before the break. Now it's more fragile and demands you handle it with more care. You have to find beauty in its new shape, with all of the cracks and splits and missing pieces. Some people will pass it up, deeming it damaged and beyond repair. Others will feel you should have thrown the whole thing away when it broke and bought something different. It feels like a lot of the time, the only one who sees the true beauty in this broken piece is you. So you keep it close to you, to make sure nobody else breaks it but keep it just far enough out of your reach so you don't break it either. Time passes and you nearly forget about your figurine again, until you step on a piece of glass you didn't see before and it reminds you, painfully, that you missed a piece in your cleanup efforts. And that's how I've felt trying to rebuild myself after that breakdown. Pieces of myself that I didn't realize were missing at first aren't there now. Sometimes I can see flashes of old Mandy in different scenarios, but most of the time I just feel incomplete. I feel whole, but somehow still incomplete. I'm always afraid I'll break again, always afraid that I won't be able to put the pieces back together in a way that allows me to function. 

Ten years ago today, my anxiety relapsed and when that happened, the 'normal' chapter of my life came to an end. I can no longer be that person and can no longer see where her road was supposed to lead. I had to put as much of myself back together as I could and make sure I didn't spill anything else, and find a way to create something worthwhile from that. Who I am now is not at all who I expected to be, and days like today are always rough for me to get through. Despite the amount of time that has gone by since then, it still feels a bit like a death to me and today, I'm struggling. I can't say I'm entirely ungrateful for what my relapse gave me; in retrospect I was seeing things in black and white before and I feel like I see things in color now. I feel like I have more depth as a person, as a woman, than I would have had if I hadn't made it to the other side of my relapse. The way that things happened following my relapse make sense so I can't say there are any decisions in there that I flat out regret. Each of those decisions, each of those events, did a lot to shape me into the person I am now. I love the person I am now, however damaged and fragile I may feel. I didn't love me at 20. Was trying to, probably even thought I did, but I didn't. Ten years after that relapse, my life looks similar and I've been struggling with a lot of anger. The overwhelming lesson I continue to face now that I've hit my 30s is acceptance. I have to accept both what is and what isn't, and I don't know how. Both my 30th birthday and today have made me confront some painful realities of my life, both as they were a decade ago and as they are now. I wish I could say I'm in a much better place, but I'm not. I guess in a sentence that's what I'm having trouble accepting today: the truth of my life, the broken glass and spilled glitter of it all. 

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Self-Love September

When I first decided to post about this challenge, I thought I'd share my personal experience with self-love and how I learned to love myself, but I realized that I'd shared so much of the story that the challenge was pushed further and further down the page. lol So I had to start over and seriously condense it so the point of the post wasn't lost. But anyway, ever since I did my 30-Day Wellness Challenge (which I promise will be up soon) back in May, I've been itching to do another challenge of some kind. I got busy with trying to cross items off the Bucket List for the majority of the summer and all of August was pretty much consumed with completing Summer Under the Stars over on the vintage blog, so I didn't really have time to look for another challenge to do. Over the past month or so, I've noticed that the topic of self-love has come up a number of times in personal conversations and I thought a challenge focused on that would be a natural follow-up to those conversations. In one of those talks, I remember telling the person I was talking to that when I was younger and at times even as an adult, I wondered how one could know when they were doing something that promoted self-love. What specific actions could I execute to purposely show myself love? When the question was returned to me within that conversation, I found myself surprised...and proud...that I had a multitude of answers. It took me a long time to come into the knowledge of how to properly love myself, but then I realized that in small ways, I'd been doing small self-love actions for years, and you probably have too. But I remember back when I couldn't answer the question at all, so I looked online for some help on what it means to love oneself and actions that could help start the process, and I came across this article on mindbodygreen about a 30-Day Self-Love Challenge. It was perfect timing and killed two birds with one stone. I actually meant to post this a couple of days ago so that if you wanted to jump in the challenge at the beginning of the month with me you could, but my laptop hates me again so it held me off for a day. I'll mention that in another post.

Anyway, I decided to take on this challenge, not only because I never miss an opportunity to give myself some lovin' (not that kind ya nasty), but because it can be helpful to others starting out on the journey of taking time for themselves and learning to love spending time alone. I came to the realization that I needed to take time for myself and do things that I genuinely enjoyed, just because I wanted to do them. When I came across the 30-Day Self Love Challenge, I figured this would be a good time to make me stick to my goal of putting forth the effort to make myself feel good and take advantage of the opportunity to spoil myself. I don't mean that in a superficial way. What I mean by that mainly is that instead of expecting or desiring certain things from other people and being upset when I don't receive them, I would rather ask and get it from myself instead. So instead of feeling empty and upset like I have noticed many single people (myself included at one time) tend to feel because they're alone, I'd rather feel full and loved, because I am full of the love I consistently show myself. The mentality that nobody can treat me better than I treat myself has helped teach me to regard myself with nothing but the utmost respect, love and care. It has also ensured that I no longer put myself in situations that aren't the healthiest, with people who won't treat me well. That's not just for boyfriends, that's for friends and even family. Not only will I no longer allow myself to be put down and insulted by others, I try not to put myself down, insult or beat myself up like I used to. I won't compare my body to others and allow myself to feel worse about what I have..or don't have. I want to feel special to somebody one day; I mean who doesn't? But I need to feel special to myself first, and if I won't tolerate certain things from others because they hurt me then I shouldn't tolerate them from myself either. Nobody can treat, spoil or love me better than me because now I know exactly what I want and what will make me happy. It's not a long list of things and none of it is material-based, but they're all still important to me. If someone can come along and raise the bar because he loves me that deeply, then great. But if not, that's great too. I'm kind of a catch so whether some dude gets to reap the benefits or I do, it's still a win for everyone involved, right? LOL I kid. Sorta.

Anyway, since I have had that mentality, I try to spoil myself every now and again with a special treat, I'll challenge myself to go somewhere I've really wanted to go and just enjoy the experience when I get there, or I'll just lounge at home and do something I want to do. Everything that I normally expect from others, especially the things I look most for in a relationship with someone else, I give myself first. Respect, time, attention, consideration, a true commitment, trust, and love. Actions that foster those things help me to recharge my batteries, they make me appreciate what I can give to others a lot more, and I now know how to avoid my tank being depleted by others. I've learned more about what I want, I know how to articulate it now, and I know what fills me up/depletes me emotionally, all of which were things I didn't know definitively for a number of years. I knew I wanted to be treated with all the attributes I named, but I wasn't sure how to articulate what behaviors showed me those things, which I'm sure confused my boyfriends at the time. All of the attention, time, effort, support and love I would show to boyfriends I now put towards myself and to be honest, I feel more loved now than I did in some of those relationships. I think self-love is extremely vital to one's well-being and sense of self in general, so if you're struggling with taking time for yourself or learning about how to show yourself that you are indeed loved, I think you should take this challenge with me.

The original challenge is one that can be started at any time, but I wanted to do it for the month of September and finish up before the holiday craziness sets in. For me, the challenge is Self-Love September (I'm an alliteration fan, in case you couldn't tell by now. Hello, Pinterest Project and Subscription Box Series. lol) and the challenge is doing something for the sole purpose of your enjoyment or peace of mind for those 30 days. The original challenge has a template of sorts that you can use to develop your own list, which was a great starting point because I wouldn't have had the first clue of where to begin. Maybe you do some of these things now, but they don't feel as special as they should. You're doing them, but they're just normal things to you and you don't see them as self-love building actions. Make those small things feel more special. Start from the template list (I would paste it here but even if I properly source it I still feel like I'm stealing lol) and come up with your own list. I'm keeping some of the original things, but putting them in different days and adding a few of my own things to the list. Follow me on Instagram to keep up with the things I've chosen for that day; I've already posted what I did last night (earlier this morning, I'm an insomniac) and what I'll be doing later today for Day 2 of the challenge. If you decide to do the challenge, tag your posts with the challenge's original tag, #30daysofselfiecare and for the blog, use the tag #rrntselflove so I can see what you're doing. I really hope you decide to participate if you come across this post and if you do, good luck!

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What I Love About My Room

With March already upon us, it's a good time to get to some of that pesky Spring cleaning that everyone (or maybe just me) puts off for a tomorrow that never comes. lol I've been needing to clean out underneath my bed for years so I could switch the layout, but to be quite honest I wasn't looking forward to cleaning out that particular Pandora's box so I continued to procrastinate about doing it. While I was looking for some inspiration on how I'd like my room to look (someday, Rome wasn't built in a night lol) I found a company called Parachute. Parachute is a bedding company that specializes in a number of bedding products, from entire sets to inserts, all with the focus of providing the consumer with premium-quality products that help create a better sleeping experience. By the by, this isn't a sponsored post. I can only hope that one day, my room looks that cleanly styled. One can dream, right? My bed, and my bedroom overall, had pieces of me in it but I don't feel like they were a reflection of who I am, if that makes any sense. I think one's bedroom, especially if one lives at home or with roommates, is very important in terms of self-expression and reflects a bit on the state of mind. For me personally, when I'm more anxious and disorganized mentally, it shows in my lack of attention to the state of my bedroom. When I'm feeling focused and organized, my room reflects that or helps me to remain that way when I get stressed. With some of these things in there and the focal point of my room being closer to what I like out of my room, I feel like its a bit closer now to speaking to who I am. 

I've recently noticed that there's quite a few DIY projects around my room, many of which didn't make the list, but I wanted to include a few of my favorites, as well as what I did with my bed because I finally! decided to quit being a chicken last week and get to all the junk I had cooped up underneath it. Now be warned, these photos (as are many of my other photos so I'm sure you're used to it by now lol) are from my Nexus so I apologize if they're not as high-quality and sophisticated as you'd probably like. Anyway, here are some of my favorite things!

1. My bed

How it usually looks.....just before
I mess it back up LOL

When I first thought about redoing my room, my bed was horribly disorganized, from the color scheme to all the junk I have on it all the time, and I initially didn't include it on my list. One of the pros of being single is that I don't have to share the other side of my bed, so it's easy to just shove stuff over to the other side when I'm ready to go to sleep. But because I don't have to share the other side of my bed, it becomes an unintentional mecca for clutter, especially when you're a recovering packrat like myself. I blog from home and am often in bed due to health issues, so for me my bed is pretty much the focal point of my bedroom. I blog from here (I'm writing this post from here now lol), do any additional work from here, take most blog photos here, eat, drink and sleep here, and on the rare occasions anyone is in here with me they're usually at the foot of the bed because it took up so much space that I couldn't put in any additional furniture. It became more of a practical piece of furniture than anything else. It wasn't a reflection of me though, and I didn't like that. I didn't like that my bed usually had 857 things on it (because I'm usually doing 850 things at one time lol), and I hated that when you came in the room, that was all you saw. I finally decided to get off my duff, work up the energy and just get it done. I love the look and feel of a made bed; if your bed is the focal point of your room like mine was then it's imperative that it shows off your room and personal style in a good way.

How my bed looks....on rare occasions 

But I've since changed my bed around and it now looks more like a daybed, which leaves me with less space to fill on the bed, gave me significantly more space in the room, and is now something that I enjoy showing off. It was always comfortable for sleep, but now I value said comfort, as cheesy as that sounds. I chose a black and blood red theme for it mainly because I just like how the colors mesh together, but also because it fit my personality and what I wanted out of my bedroom, which was a more mature look and feel. It's simple but I like it and love being in it more now than I did before. I know it's nothing beautiful like those beds in the show rooms (or the ones on Parachute's website lol), but it's comfortable and I like it.

2. The lighting

I'd still prefer the lights to go around the entire room, but I'm
beginning to like how this looks too. It was way easier
to photograph than when they went around all 4 walls. lol

Last month when I first decided I wanted to do this post, I had lighting going around all 4 walls, but most of the lights have since shorted (I used them nightly and they were up for 8 years) so I took them down and when I moved my bed, I put up the new lights just to frame the bed. These lights do a lot for helping me to relax at night. They're just regular white Christmas lights, but they give my room a soothing glow when I turn off my bedroom lights and turn these on. My favorite thing to do at night when I want to try and relax is to turn the room lights off, turn these on, light a few candles and some incense, and turn on Netflix's Fireplace for Your Home. It creates a very calming atmosphere and because I have frequent insomnia with anxiety that tends to peak at night, this is a godsend for me.

I really like how this looks. If only I
could keep it looking this clean.

3. The curtains around my bed

I've had curtains framing my bed for so long that the entire room looks off without them there. I think they create a more luxurious feel when you let them hang around the bed. I've loved canopy beds since I was a kid but I never had one for myself so I just cheap-o DIY'd this one and hung the curtains from my ceiling. When I'm not watching tv and I'm holed up in bed for the night, I'll pull the curtains down and do the things I said for my lighting. For some reason, it helps when you want to dial it down a bit and relax. It's probably just me but it reminds me of a fort, and who doesn't like a good fort? The curtains themselves provide a bit more privacy, but depending on the level of transparency, they'll keep you from feeling boxed in.

4. My jewelry/headband displays

Looks like I'm going to need
another of these frames.

I'm almost out of space on this one too so it's about time to put
up another frame. I love earrings, can you tell?

I love this part of my room because the jewelry frames and racks are a reflection of my style, they're a great dupe for wall art, and they help me keep track of my jewelry, which continues to increase. It's also easier to plan outfits with my jewelry when I can see it. I know I'm not the only one who does that. Anyway, everything for this project cost about $5 and took around an hour to make, and I love a simple, quick DIY project. The first frame is for my necklaces and bracelets, and the second is for my continually growing collection of hoop and dangly earrings.

My next headband acquisition is a pair of sparkly bunny
ears for Easter. lol My niece loves putting these on, but then
realizes she can't see it anymore, so she snatches it off. 

Underneath my jewelry frames is my holiday headband rack, which is my 1-year-old niece's favorite part of my room. lol I have a thing for collecting crazy, usually holiday-themed headbands and I love showing them off, so I put them on the wall. And yes, I do wear them in public. LOL This is a favorite part of my room because they always make me smile, especially when I'm having a bad day. They're corny and light-hearted but sort of quirky and funny, and I'd like to think that that's how I am too.

Extra:
*An unofficial favorite part of my room is what I call my 'puzzle door,' which is where I hang all of my completed puzzles. Doing puzzles is a big hobby of mine and I hate the idea of throwing them away after putting in all that time to complete them, so I thought I'd make an accent wall of sorts by hanging the collection as it grows on my bathroom door. The puzzles are all drastically different from one another so they don't follow a specific layout or theme, and that variation is what makes it look so fun. I'm still adding on to it but I like how it looks so far; it's definitely different from the typical wall art but that's what I like about it. And that, kids, is reason #888 why I'm single. I'm the type of boob to be excited about putting together more puzzles for a puzzle accent spot in my bedroom.

*The other unofficial extra favorite (actually, it's #1 on the list) is my snack box, which is a small box underneath my desk that I hide all of my edible goodies in. There is a large place in my heart for junk food, and I usually try to keep the box stocked for movie nights or when I'm up late researching/finishing a blog post. I love me some snacks. Mmm. Is there a Campbell's soup emoji for the "Mmm" thing? lol

And those are a few of my favorite things! What are some of your favorite things in your bedroom? What types of things (color scheme, overall theme, etc.) do you implement in your room that reflect your personality? A few years ago, I split my closet in half and used one half for my clothes, and the other for what I nicknamed the Cryin' & Craftin' closet. LOL I wallpapered that half of the closet, set up a chair and my crafting supplies, and when I wanted to craft or do my homework in peace, that's where I went. And when I just needed a minute, I'd close the closet door, have a little cry, and call it a day. lol What do you have in your bedroom to promote relaxation? Have any creative ideas to make the most out of a small space? Let me know and I hope you liked this post!

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I'm Back!! and Updates

I'm back!!!! I just wanted to drop in really quickly to say that I was finally able to get my original laptop fixed so now I can get back online. Like I've mentioned before, I've been far from idle; I've got quite a few reviews backlogged that I can't wait to get up on the site. Within the next couple of weeks or so, I hope to have most of them up. The SBS and Pinterest Project are both still on hiatus for the time being but with any luck they'll be back by the summer. There are a few upcoming changes in my personal life, so if there's a slight lag after my delayed posts are up, I'm going to warn and apologize for that ahead of time. Thankfully I was able to recover a good amount of my data, including some of the photos I'd started working on for the revamp of the blog's design, so I'm going to try to get back to work on that in the next couple of weeks as well. In short, I'm back and within the next few weeks it should be back to business as normal!

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Still here!

I just wanted to do an update really quick and let you know that I'm still alive, lol, I know I went ghost after my last post (rhyme alert lol) and that wasn't originally the intention, but as I have come to realize, my intentions don't matter bc shit happens. Lol and that's exactly what happened shortly after putting RRNT on a short hiatus so I could get caught up. I'd published the post then gotten to work, finishing the new header, finalizing one of the icons and finally coming up with a posting schedule that integrated both this and the vintage blog, then shit happened.

And now its time for Storytime with Mandy:Broke Dick Laptop Edition. It broke down the night before I was going to implement my schedule, and what I initially thought to be a CPU problem ended up actually being the motherboard, so obviously I have to get a replacement laptop. Since I'm no longer in school, I don't receive the stipends I used to get, which is how I got my other laptops. The laptop that just crapped out was a backup laptop as my primary computer went belly up with hard disk failure last summer, shortly before I finished school. My final stipend from school was used almost completely on paying for my trip to Arizona for graduation, so I wasn't able to get it fixed. I'd been given a replacement by that time and I was also relying on being able to go back to school later, and because of that I didn't think much about repairing the primary right away. That was my bad, because now I can no longer re-enroll so there are no more stipends to fall back on. Which means that my primary laptop is now broke dick indefinitely. With the backup now being broke dick as well, I'm all the way up the creek with a hole in the middle of the boat and a Popsicle stick to keep me company. Lol I've looked at some repair prices for the primary and we're looking anywhere from between $70 to $140, if not more. Since I can't afford that at the moment, I have all the potential of the Titanic at making it to shore. lol Did I mention that I can't swim? And that concludes the latest chapter of Storytime with Mandy: Broke Dick Laptop Edition.

Its very frustrating and discouraging bc it feels like there are 10 million obstacles in my way. Money rules the world and not only do I not have any, I'm not in a position to make any. Financially, this year has been crazy tough on me and this is just the latest addition to the past 10 months of constant fuckery that's been going on in my life. I'm a review blogger and trying my hardest to pursue this seriously because its one of the few things that makes me happy. But I swear, its been one thing after the other. If not money, its cable. If not cable, then my laptop. Neither of those things would be as much of a problem if there was more $. See how it all comes full circle? Lol That's just the tip of the iceberg though, if I'm being completely honest, my life, in every way, is a shitstorm. Which is why i try so hard to keep the few things that make me happy. But moving on, this lovely post is being done on my phone, and i would like to include a small sidenote on my hatred for AutoCorrect and touchscreen keyboards at this time. I have still been reviewing while I've been in blogger timeout though, and I now have a notebook full of posts ready to get typed out when I can get back to a computer. I have a new addition to the TV portion of the site that I thought of during my satellite sabbatical, and I can't wait to implement it. I'm two months behind in my SBS posts, so I'm going to try to get to the library soon so I can at least get those up.

Until then though, just hang in there with me for a little while longer. I'm sorry I have to keep doing this. I'm also sorry that our chit chats always seem to have a negative undertone to them, that's not my intention either. See the beginning of this post for my thoughts on intentions and we will have officially done a 360 on this post. Lol I don't mean to complain, I really don't. I haven't fully explained whats going on in my life and don't know whether or not I will, but despite everything that's going on I know full well I could have worse. I have had worse and I'm super grateful that I'm not experiencing a lot of that stuff anymore. I've just always been of the belief that when you're at the bottom, the only other way to go is back up and that's where I'm fighting to get. Unfortunately, right now fate disagrees LOL and my hands are tied, so I get frustrated. But anyway, I hope you're having a wonderful weekend and I'll hopefully be seeing you again soon! Do you have any Halloweenie costumes in mind yet? Let me know!

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Hiatus.....sorta

No joke, I've written at least five posts on this subject and still don't feel like I've gotten my thoughts out correctly, so I'm just gonna write. I've been working a lot on the blog design and I finally feel like the vision I have for the site is coming together, now all I have to do is bring it to fruition. I believe this clusterfrack of a blog might finally have a logo! I've finished with the subject header icons for the menu, I've decided on what to have on the blog, I even added a new series for monthly favorites which should now be on the right side of your screen, and the header is coming together. I just have to get all the HTML crap and codes together so that I can put it together as one fluid design. I've also been prepping posts on a bunch of pretty cool apps that I found which may or may not be really new (I don't know how on top of apps you all are, so whether it's new to us or just new to me is up in the air lol) but I'm still figuring out the layout of those posts which is why they aren't up yet. In short, everything's coming together now which is why you haven't heard too much from me apart from the occasional review and my SBS. Which brings me to the subject of this post. Until I get those posts together and the site can really be revamped, so that I can promote it, apply for review opportunities with companies and just be proud of what I'm directing others to look at, RRNT is going on a sort of hiatus while I get the kinks worked out. I'm working myself to death trying to learn, then do, everything that I want to do with this blog and still keep up with doing the exact same stuff for my vintage blog. So other than my SBS posts and my monthly favorites, which are going to remain consistent, you probably won't be hearing too much from me for a little while. As always, be a little patient with me. I think I can get everything going in the next few weeks here and I'm really excited to roll out these reviews and finally get caught up. But until then, I can't break my back trying to do the exact same design things for two blogs, do all of the post work for said blogs, and still maintain consistency. It's just too much for me by myself. But know that I am working on it and the 20+ posts I'm about to roll out will show that I actually have been working on stuff instead of just saying it. But anywho, I hope you'll be patient with me (I feel like I'm always saying that and I'm sorry, I promise after all of this is over it'll be the last time......maybe lol) while I get everything straightened out. Just wanted to do a quick little post and explain where I've been. My SBS for this month will be up within the next couple of days, as will my monthly favorites post. See ya soon!

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I'm Back!

Sorry for the inordinately long absence. A few weeks ago, my laptop charger blew out on me and when I finally realized that the charger wasn't doing its job, my laptop was just about dead. I had to wait until I was finished paying this month's bills to get the replacement, and I finally picked it up today. I received last month's choice for the SBS but I wasn't able to post it because I only had my phone so that'll be up soon. I haven't yet made a decision for this month's SBS (but it's gotta be something cheap because I am super low on cash this month lol) but I'll be getting to all the posts I fell behind on in the next couple of weeks. I've also got some reviews waiting in the wings so give me a little time to get re-settled here and we'll be back up and running!

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Random Chit Chat

I just wanted to write this post really quick because I've been slacking a bit lately on some things and wanted to do a little update. First things first, I decided to give up the ghost on trying to finish that Instagram Photo Challenge. I only joined Instagram to try out the challenge, and I realized after awhile that I just don't mesh well with it. As much as I love taking photos, I was able to see that I'm not interested enough to take them on a daily basis. I feel sort of like a failure for admitting that but the truth is, I didn't care about Instagram before the Challenge (which is why I didn't have an account), I had to make myself care about (and remember) it while I was attempting the challenge, and now that I've abandoned it I still don't care about it. lol Beyond Facebook and Twitter for promoting ATV and watching TNTs, I don't care for social media. I think as websites and media in general became more intrusive, I pulled back. I forget about checking my Instagram the majority of the time, I only use Twitter for my other blog, and I only post occasionally on Facebook, but it's never anything personal. With that being said, me being me Instagram and daily photo challenges aren't my style. There are still gaps in my life in which there are no photos, but what I have noticed about myself throughout this process is that 1-I don't think I'm cut out to photograph every day of my life, 2-My life simply isn't interesting enough for me to want to photograph something every day, and 3-Things like daily photo challenges make you bare a little of yourself everyday and I realize that I'm not necessarily comfortable with that. It is what it is. Maybe if there was more going on in my life or I was a more open person in my private life this would be easier to do, but right now it's not my can of soda.


Secondly, I haven't forgotten about the Pinterest Project. I've fallen on hard times financially, and since I'm still living at home, the number of projects that I can take on is pretty narrow (limited to bedroom equipment) and many of them require me to buy a number of the supplies. January's wasn't that expensive and I already owned a lot of the supplies, but many of them require supplies that are out of my budget right now. Once my bills have been regulated again and I've got more cash to spare (or I can find cheaper projects to pin), I'll pick the project back up and make sure to do all of the months that I may have missed in between. The SBS is still up and running, as you've seen, so no worries there.


I'm still working on rolling out the changes and new reviews for the site, but as I mentioned earlier, hard financial times have caused me to pull in a little bit and this limits a lot of the new things that I can buy to review. I have a firm idea of exactly what will be reviewed on the site now and I'm just waiting for when I can fully redo the design. By the end of the year, all changes will be implemented and it'll be straight.


Well, I guess that's all for this little chit chat for now. I've got some computer game, PS3 game, makeup and app reviews waiting in the wings now, and everything's moving along. I know there's been a few more book reviews lately, but I'm part of two review programs on LibraryThing so I thought it'd be a good opportunity to simultaneously build up that portion of RRNT and fulfill my reviewing obligations for LT. I've also been pursuing a few sponsored opportunities from a few companies to see what I can scrounge up to review. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I haven't fallen off....completely. lol I'm still here. If you have any ideas for things I can review, shoot me a comment and let me know!

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Quick Update: March Photo Challenge

We're already in the 3rd month of the Instagram Photo Challenge! I'm still missing some photos from February, but it's not entirely my fault. lol Some of it, I've been slacking. But the other half, my phone memory finally conked out on me and I couldn't take any more photos because they weren't saving to the phone, so I had to buy another memory card. That alone took almost two weeks, so I'm missing a lot of photos. I'll be playing catch-up tomorrow and posting all the photos I missed. In case you're not following me and my misadventures with a camera yet, you can follow me here. This month's challenge is from Fat Mum Slim, as the other two were, and here is the daily list:

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Sponsored Reviews?

So far, every review...as random as it is, hence the name of this blog....has been done on my own and I've received nothing for it. I wasn't attempting to; I simply wanted to review the product. Which is still the case, but here's the thing. I'm a broke blogger with little influence and a narrow area of what I can and do review. I have a hard time finding products that are worth covering and haven't been reviewed to death, I have an even harder time finding opportunities that at least have the benefit of a free product at the end, and I'm having a harder time still with finding my audience. I don't want a benefit every time, that's not why I created the blog. Over the years, I've received a couple of books as part of free giveaway programs within the book clubs I'm part of and I emailed Nailene for that nail review I gave a couple of years ago, but otherwise everything has been all things that I randomly purchased and decided to review afterward. I enter a lot of giveaways on the off chance that I win, so I can describe my experience with both the company and the product because I think that's just a more well-rounded review than explaining one or the other. I enter giveaways anyway though because I think I'm kind of addicted to them, review blog or not. LOL But that's beside the point. Excluding those two things, everything else is all me.

Lately, I've been considering taking on sponsored opportunities so that I can consistently expose myself to things that are worthy of a review. I'll admit that I don't really understand sponsored reviews, other than that a company pays you to review something that they send you, and most blog readers hate these kind of reviews with a blue burning passion. From what I do understand, I think that it's kind of a 50/50 thing--on one hand, when the review is sponsored, how do we know what is genuinely the blogger's thought on the product? Logically speaking, a company isn't going to send a blogger a product that they will then expose to their audience and the Internet for a scathing review. They're going to want a favorable review, but what if the product isn't good enough for one? The pressure of knowing that the company is looking for this review and positive exposure (and are paying the blogger to provide them that) would probably be enough to make the blogger roll over and give the company what they want, which robs the audience of an unbiased and honest perspective. In turn, this potentially jips the audience into spending their money. I understand the influence that more popular bloggers have on their readers and that's important. Our readers trust us to give them our honest opinions and guide them to the best products in the genre currently being reviewed. It would be stupid and manipulative to misuse that trust for the sake of a sponsored review and money.

However, with a sponsored review you get to increase your readers if the company decides to send you a product and you give a genuinely positive review, because they'll then display your review on their website. This gives blogs with few readers like mine some much needed exposure and hopefully a couple of loyal readers afterward. I honestly don't want a platform of 1M subscribers like some of my favorite YouTube personalities, and I don't want some 200 comments every time I post a blog. I guess that's a bit too much pressure for me to be 'on' and consistently crank out greatness on an ever-rising standard level. If I can get a small, loyal circle of people who enjoy reading my musings on a subject and have benefitted from it in some way, then I feel like the blog has accomplished its goal. Anyway, in some of these opportunities you get paid to review the products, and if your word is reliable then the opportunities and frequency you get to review their products grows, which benefits the blogger financially and in terms of audience. You also don't have to spend quite as much money if the companies don't mind sending you things to review. Not a bad trade-off.

My major question is if it's possible to participate in sponsored reviews and still provide an unbiased opinion on the product, whether it be good or bad. I wouldn't mind a sponsored review so that I can get a product and decide whether or not it would be worth my (or my readers') money, but at the same time I don't want to feel like a company is going to roll over on me if I don't give the best opinion on what they sent. I don't have much influence right now, but I hope to increase that and don't want a reputation for being dishonest because I choose to go with the money and have my posts sponsored. Many sponsored reviews kinda seem like a walking advertisement for the company and as a reader myself, I don't like that. If I'm posting something on my blog, I want to be able to say what I want and not worry about it. I can't do that if my review is sponsored by said company. So I'm kinda stuck.

I could use the exposure and the partnerships by different companies so that I have something to review and they have an unbiased review that they can possibly use on their site. If the review wasn't exactly favorable, if nothing more they have some suggestions for improvement on the product, which they can also use. It could potentially be a win-win situation. But I do know what it's like to be a reader or viewer and watch the content, the quality and the frequency of posts adjust over time as corporate and sponsored posts take over what was once a unique blog. I also know what it's like as a blogger, to watch the years go by and either have a blog that doesn't yet have its own identity or many readers to listen, regardless of post quality. I know what it feels like to put in hard work to create a good product and not have a platform on which to display it and no end benefit, either through comments, likes, payment or products. Neither of those situations are the most favorable in the world and because I understand what's on both sides of the fence, I feel a little lost on what to do.

I refuse to lose myself or the standard that I have set for this blog for the sake of a dollar. I also refuse, though, to blog for another five years and put in work with the design, the content and the quality of my posts only to remain in the same position. When the 10-yr anniversary of my blogging life comes around, I don't want to be in the same place I was when I starting blogging, at zero. I don't want to lose the randomness or the authenticity that I've tried to establish over the past 5 years that it's taken for the blog to finally come into its own. I also don't want to develop a bad reputation; I've spent many years reading blogs and reading the disillusionment of former readers as the blogger turns from doing something authentic to doing something generic and sponsored. I've seen too many comments about the blog losing its heart and subscriber as a result. I don't want that for this blog before I've even had a chance. I've just finally established a definitive idea for this blog and I'm happy with it. I'm hoping that readers will come but I don't want to ruin any opportunities before I've had the chance. Long story short, I'm not sure what to do. I don't want the blog to grow stagnant during the times where money is lean and I can't afford much, but I don't want to become a corporate mouthpiece, either. Ain't nobody got time for that. At all.

I guess there isn't much of a point to this post other than to say what was on my mind lately concerning the blog in general. I've got some ideas for posts that I'm still working on which should keep me busy for awhile, but after that well runs dry I have to consider some things so that I still have something to post. I just thought I'd let you all in on what I was thinking for a minute since I don't really get too personal on here. On the off chance that you were listening though, thank you. :-)

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Quick Update & February Photo Challenge

So the first month of 2014 is already over; didn't it go by fast? I feel like last week we were just getting over the craziness of the holidays and here it is, almost Valentine's already. But anywhoodle, with the entry of a new month comes the intro of this month's photo challenge. If you happened to click on my Instagram at any point last month, then you already know that I failed January's challenge miserably. LOL Before Day 10, I was down for the count. I never recovered. lol

As much as I love taking photos, the thing for me is that I'm not used to taking photos on a daily basis. I'm from the pre-social media extravaganza, where if you weren't there to experience something then that was your loss because people weren't scrambling trying to take pictures of it, so I'll forget to take a picture. I think it also has something to do with the fact that I'm a boring little old lady, so many times there simply hasn't been anything interesting enough for me to want to photograph. I grew out of my attention-seeking years where I felt the need to share everything years ago, so it's hard to let people in my life and what I see on a daily basis. On the occasions that I do take photos, most of the time they stay in my personal collection. I don't want to see everyone's photos of everything in their life, so it would stand to reason that people don't want or need to see every photographed occurrence in my life either. I'm cool with that because I don't want to show it. LOL. And on other occasions, I just don't feel like dragging a camera with me everywhere, hoping for something good enough to capture on my phone or camera. It's annoying, the process doesn't let you just enjoy and immerse yourself in the moment, and meh. Miss me with all that. Long story short though, this challenge has been a lot harder for me than I originally anticipated that it would be. Then I forgot my password to Instagram and couldn't log on for the last two weeks thanks to my no-good Internet not letting me reset it (update on the net, I went back to AT&T yesterday, so hopefully all the 'Net problems of old are behind me...yay!) so in addition to figuring out the many reasons why this challenge isn't agreeing with me like I thought it would, it all came together to form another edition of what I call Mandy's Misadventures. lol

So for this second month of Mandy's Misadventures with Instagram, I'm going to try again to do this Photo Challenge. I got this month's calendar from Fat Mum Slim again, so without further ado here it is:

Lindsay from Pen & Paint came up with this list, and yet again, I like it. It seems rather easy to handle, but yet again, for me that's easier said than done. I'm going to try. I guarantee nothing except that there will be at least one photo from this month on there. lol I'm also going to be putting a widget on here so you can see my Instagram; maybe that'll motivate me to get off my duff and keep my New Year's resolution to find something pretty in every day.

On another quick update note, I'm almost finished with January's Pinterest Project. I wasn't able to get the sweatshirt until earlier this week, so I didn't get to do the project until Wednesday. With the project not turning out as expected and my birthday the following day (plus normal daily stuff), I didn't have the time to complete it by yesterday. But it should be up in a few days. Sorry about that!

I do believe that's about everything for now, I don't have anything else to add so I hope you all have a great Super Bowl weekend...and if you're not into football, I hope whatever you're doing is of equal awesomeness. lol

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Video Reviews and Upcoming Changes

With a few of next year's videos, I decided to change things up a bit by posting my reviews as videos and just including the links in the post underneath. I just want a little more variety in the way that I post my reviews of things and I've been eyeing something with YouTube for over a year, so I figured I could post a few of these things as video reviews instead. I'm going to start out with this month's Birchbox and post both a video and print review, and I'll let you decide how I should continue doing them. I'll be posting the video and print review on the same day, and you can leave a comment underneath either post telling me which format you prefer. If I don't get an answer, I'll probably keep doing both.

I'm also in the process of redesigning the site. I'm doing this mainly by myself, so it might be some time before it's up and fully functional. I'm new to the world of web design so figuring out the codes and stuff has been a little difficult. I'm working on a new header and blog button now, then it's time to move on to the actual site design. If you know of anywhere I can get some good icon vectors for free, let me know in a comment!

Other than that, I guess that'll be all the changes for now. I just wanted to let you all know about the video reviews, the upcoming web design, and a couple of personal projects that I'll be taking on next year. I'm in the process of creating a radio station at the moment so when I'm not posting on any of my blogs that's probably what I'll be doing, but I still took on a few side projects to fill up empty time. I'm starting something called the Pinterest Project, where every month I'll complete a project from my DIY board and see how close I get to the pictured results. I'm also taking on the Photo a Day challenge for a year; I was trying to get the little daily challenges as well but I think that might be a bit much, lol. I'm also working on something in the DIY area but I'll need a little help before I can get to that one. I'll be able to talk more on it when I can figure out if it's a go. And of course, I'll still be doing my normal reviews. There are some great video games coming out next year and I can't wait to cover some of them, but if you have any other ideas for things I should review, you already know what to do.

I'm hoping I can stick to all this stuff; I might be taking on more than I can chew. I still have activities and whatnot to follow through with on my vintage blog, so bear with me if I fall off. I think it'll be okay though; time management is everything. And I need a schedule like nobody's business. lol Hope you like the changes to come!

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No Mo' Daytime Suds!

Well, as the title says, the daytime portion of this blog has ceased entirely because I no longer watch soap operas, hence the name and URL change (finally!). My love for soaps is in a 'the way they were' kind of way now, and I haven't watched them in so long that I'd be completely lost if I tried to start back up again. I have no interest in testing that theory out, however, so I figured it was time I removed soaps from the description and URL entirely as I won't be going back to them. As cheesy as it probably sounds, soaps have played an integral part in my life for most of my life. They got me through some tough periods within the past few years and gave me a much needed escape. I relied on them as a normal part of my day. I felt like a large part of me grew with the characters. But times have changed and I just don't find them exciting anymore. With the chain-yanking that I feel us fans had to endure with Prospect Park as well as the upcoming cancellation of SoapNet, I don't even want to bother trying to get back into soaps again. It's just not the same. For some, the change is a good thing. For me, though, it's the dynamics of the soap that I feel have changed and that's what I miss, not necessarily certain characters. It was the dynamic and the atmosphere that got me watching some of them in the first place, and even if I took small breaks because certain storylines were boring, it was always the feeling that brought me back. I just don't feel that when I watch them now. A few too many faces are gone now and while I did say earlier that it was the dynamics I miss, it's difficult (for me anyway) to remain as attached when it feels like a completely new soap every time you go back. It's kind of like a bad relationship. When what brought you there is gone and there isn't anything equally intriguing to take its place, it's time to go. I'm sure this all sounds melodramatic, but sue me. I've been watching soaps since I was 2. I got very attached to the familiar faces, the rollercoaster storylines and the soaps being in my life over the many years that I watched them. I saw many faces come and go, I saw some come back to stay while others dipped in and back out just as quickly, I spent many an evening watching SoapNet in tears, crying like I knew these people. Don't judge me. I know I'm not the only soap fan with Overly Attached Syndrome. LOL

I don't want to make this some long, overdrawn story. The point is that because I no longer watch soaps and have no intention to start watching again, I decided that it was finally time to change the URL of the blog and explain its new focus. I swear at the end of almost every year I end up changing something on this blog. lol This one was important, however, because the URL no longer applied and became misleading. So as of today, there will be no more soap opera coverage of any kind on this site. If it's something big like a cancellation or a death, then I'll probably mention it. Otherwise, the Daytime Suds category of this site will be shut down and I will no longer be covering any of the soaps.

The new name of the site reflects things perfectly. Random Reviews 'n Things covers both the random reviews that I already do (makeup, subscription boxes, tv shows, movies, video games, etc.) and the other things that I decide to post about. All of it forms this spontaneous collage of content that doesn't have just one area of focus because I am incapable of making just one thing my focus. lol So basically, I just switched one thing out for another.....again. I'm going to keep posting reviews (if you have any ideas for things I should cover, email me or send me a comment!) but random posts like DIY projects that I'm doing will pop up from time to time. I'm starting a new thing next year called the Pinterest Project, where I'm going to try to cover one DIY a month from my DIY board. I'm covering a lot of things with the next year. I'm going to do a 365-day photo challenge as well as a small daily challenge for myself and I'm going to blog about it on my primary blog if you'd like to follow along or just check my progress, and I'm also going to take part in a historical romance reading challenge, which I'm covering on my vintage blog. That's some of what I'm doing, but they're all small things I can integrate into my day. Wanting to mention those things on here is what brought me to change the name of the blog; I already have two other blogs but they have a set purpose. One is for anxiety, while the other is for the vintage lifestyle. The things in my life that don't fit either of those categories don't have anywhere to go, so the "Things" part of the blog will now cover all that stuff. I am yet again trying to change the design up for the blog so it's going to look pretty plain Jane and simple for a little while. Either way, I hope you stick around!

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Time for Change!

If you've been with me through the years, you know I do something different at the start of every new year. This past January I decided to stop doing Daytime Suds entirely and would only do a post on it if there were significant updates, then I stopped doing that as well. I also upgraded the design.

January of 2011 I upgraded the design of the blog, changed the name and began to include tv show and movie reviews on the site. January 2010 I first mentioned adding tv reviews but they were mainly food related, then the blog went dark for awhile.

This coming year is no different. As you know, when I started this blog it was originally called Daytime Suds and I provided soap opera recaps and commentary. I have since stopped watching soaps, so I changed the blog name to include reviews of various television shows. It took me awhile to find my groove but I found it, then promptly went on hiatus. lol I then came back, changed the name again and started reviewing a bit of everything. But amongst all these changes, one very annoying thing has remained the same--the website address. It still says Daytime Suds, even though I have tried to change it several times. So come January, we're going to be moving to another site to reflect the new name and Daytime Suds will be shutting down. I'm also thinking of changing the name of the blog from Bitchy Reviews to.....something. lol I don't have that part nailed down just yet.

Either way, come January this site is going dark and I'll be starting up the new blog. Time to start looking for designs and all the other fun stuff!--aka I'll find so many designs I like I'll get overwhelmed before finding one, then end up finding one after I've already started the new blog. lol

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Hiatus

Well, not that anyone's going to read this post (just like nobody's been reading ANY of these posts for the last 3 yrs)but just in case some lone soul is (which I thank you for!), this post is necessary so it doesn't look like I fell off the face of the earth. Since I have had no feedback or response in all the posts I've made excluding a piece of not-so-constructive criticism, I have become a little busier with school and my current classes which has caused me to fall behind in my reviews, I have decided to put this blog on hiatus. I would love to say that it'll only be until I get everything situated and settled in my life, but the truth is that I really don't know. When you combine a lack of readers/attention with continuing to post to nobody at all with an overwhelmed writer and put this on repeat for a few years, it takes the fun out of it. I've got 12 posts in draft right now and have no desire to finish them. That's not good.

I write for pleasure, not a paycheck. I wish, however, that at least 1 other on the blogosphere would stumble across this and find the pleasure in responding; give me someone to share my tv thoughts with. I've promoted the blog on the social networks I'm part of, but to no avail. Since I've done all I can do and no longer have the desire, energy or time to continue to write knowing that I am writing to myself, I decided the best thing to do would be to put the blog on hiatus. Perhaps the joy of writing and relaying thoughts will return; I'd certainly like for it to, but then again it may not and this could be the very last post I write. Who's to say, really. Not trying to be dramatic about it at all, but I can't say whether or not I'll be back. Let me take this day by day and see what happens. Hope your journeys, paths and experiences are all blessed!

Auf wiedersehen!

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Playing Catch-Up

I'm a little behind on my reviews but don't worry, I'm going to try to get to them all within the next couple of days. I just started two new classes this week and they both carry a hefty workload so in an effort to stay on track, I had to scale back my tv viewing and really focus on my homework. (Don't worry, I DVR'd everything lol) So this week I'll be playing catch-up, both on homework and reviews. Bear with me just a little longer! :D

M

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A Little Time...

Hey guys, I'm working on a few new reviews from shows I caught this past weekend and some upcoming premiere lists, so I haven't left. This past weekend I was busy trying to catch up on some very late homework (was only half successful in my efforts though -_-), Monday was my birthday and all of yesterday I spent laid up in bed with a terrible sinus migraine so I haven't gotten around to posting them all just yet, not to mention it is a new week so I do have homework to get to as well. But I've got some Daytime Suds updates in draft right now as well as a few show reviews so just be a little patient with me and I'll get on them. Hope you're having a wonderful week and Happy Hump Day!

--M

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Changes to Come!

At about this time last year--or was it 2010? I forget--I decided to change this blog to include tv reviews. In the course of that year, however, my interests have since changed dramatically, which in retrospect probably should have shut this site down completely--I stopped watching the original intention of this blog, soap operas, to name the main change. I was growing more and more unhappy with where soaps were going and after the announcement that 2 of them were up for cancellation (one of which has already happened; the other is later this month), I grew so disillusioned that I just gave up on the remaining ones. So to those that read this blog for soap recaps or updates, I apologize. But I can't and probably won't return to that world as it has all but died off to me already. :(

But I digress. At around this time last year, I made some changes to the site, including an addition to the name as I decided to take on the task of providing tv show recaps and reviews. I have a habit (which I'm sure is rather annoying to those I live with lol) of sometimes providing a running commentary of what I like and dislike about the show. Eventually I figured, since I can't do it with soaps anymore and write down my opinions, why not revamp the blog for tv reviews instead? I really enjoyed reviewing the shows and I had a great time trying to improve on my writing skills--the entries just from this week alone are by far my best work and I know I still stand to improve even more--and the content I choose to review. Because of that, I have given a lot more thought to the tv review portion of this website, what with soaps pretty much down the proverbial tube and all. I considered only doing selective reviews, but I would like the practice and looking back on my very first reviews, could use it. lol There are many shows premiering in the months to come, some inside and some outside of my comfort zone, but it never hurts to expand one's horizons, I say.

So I am thinking that the Daytime Suds of this website will be relegated to major news & updates since I have stopped watching soaps entirely, and dedicate the majority of my attention on providing reviews. Some of the reviews will be season premieres, but I also think it would be beneficial to the traffic on the site and to those interested if I start doing series premieres as well. Luckily (or unluckily) for me, there are many to come just from now until May, so between that and school I should be pretty occupied. However, the concept of doing various kinds of reviews has also crossed my mind, so we'll see about that....

As I mentioned last year, the design, layout & features of the blog will be changing (the difference is that this time I'll actually make those changes lol) so please bear with me in the weeks to come.

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all of you; I hope you all enjoyed the '11 holiday season and are now enjoying that it has come to an end. lol I certainly am. I can't lie, I was quite the Grinch this past season and couldn't be happier that it's over; it was much more trouble than it ended up being worth so I am very pleased to get back to the normal swing & flow of things.

As I'm sure you all know by now since I haven't updated you all in awhile (I swear I have about 8 blogs in draft now trying to cover it all since September!), there are many outs going on for the soaps that are left. I've said it many times before and I'll say it again, soaps are on their way out. And as popular as General Hospital and Young & the Restless are, I already know they will no longer be on my screen in 5 years, if they make it that long. Unfortunately, the death of soaps has already hit its apex. By the end of this month, One Life to Live will be gone as well, leaving 4 soaps still on the air. In some parts of the country, it'll be 3 because the programming in some places has also taken General Hospital off the air and replaced it with something else. Is this a sign of things to come in the (near?) future? Time will tell.

Brian Frons has been ousted as the head of ABC Daytime, therefore bringing that era and time to an end, which especially doesn't look good for GH, being the last daytime show still running on that network. I wasn't too fond of Brian Frons, but he kept my soaps on the air years after some said they'd be cancelled, so to him I am grateful for that. He saw the omission of soaps from CBS and delayed it happening to ABC for two years, so again I am grateful. However, there were so many changes on those soaps for the two years I had them that I am angry they went out the way they did. Unlike I did with All My Children, I don't think I'll be going back to One Life until the final episode, just to tell it goodbye, like I did with ATWT & GL. I tried watching One Life, but I couldn't get through an episode; if not for the confusion at returning to it after an almost two-year hiatus then because I just didn't like what I was viewing. The actors were not even the problem, it was the storyline--as usual. Some things never change. Actually if I'm being completely honest, I'm having the same problem with GH, not to mention all the outs at a time where they should be hanging onto their cast is essential. I can't sit through an entire episode anymore; I'll be lucky if I make it to the first commercial break. And that makes me sad; even when I had stopped watching OLTL & AMC, I always watched GH and now I just can't do it.

The outs are coming out left and right since September, and they are ALL prominent characters. Some are leaving by choice and others are not, but they are all still actors & actresses in frontburner storylines and will be missed dearly. Just off the top of my head, let me see who I can remember hearing about.
Lexi Ainsworth (Kristina) was let go a couple months ago;
Nathan Parsons (Ethan) was recently let go but apparently ABC or GH hasn't made a formal announcement;
Jonathan Jackson (Lucky) has already disclosed that he'll be leaving when his contract expires;
Kimberly McCullough (Robin) has also confirmed that she'll be leaving the canvas soon;
and Kirsten Storms (Maxie) has not yet returned from her medical-dictated exit and from what I hear, the replacement Maxie just isn't cutting it;
I'll be checking back at Soapcentral.com today to see if I left any others out.

It's disheartening to hear that these characters have/will be leaving at a time where maintaining the cast and viewership is so important to the survival (for however long, we already know when they decide to cancel the soap it'll be in favor of "current" programming trends, not because of viewers or fans) of the soap. I don't really think its smart to possibly alienate the fans and viewers right now and letting these people leave or overworking them to the point where they have to leave for their own sake, which is the case with Jonathan Jackson, isn't a way to keep us around. In the midst of the drama surrounding soaps now, the soaps still on the air should be thriving and growing, sticking together more than ever in fact, to show us that they're still trying to hang on. I really don't mean to sound apocalyptic on you all, but as a lifetime soap viewer all of this is rather disappointing.

From all appearances, the Prospect Park deal with OLTL & AMC has fallen through, as we have not heard any more about it in over a month. Not much has come out about the deal since hearing that they were interested in continuing the soaps online, then finding out that several actors/actresses from OLTL and three castmembers from AMC signed on to the web shows. Prospect Park has been all but silent about any developments made since the final show of AMC & the months leading up to the final show of OLTL; another move that I don't feel is particularly smart. Viewers are still saddened over losing these shows and not being able to see these characters and people that they practically grew up with--why would you not want to keep them in the loop after giving them hope? Furthermore and more importantly, why would you give us hope after ABC gave the axe, then go silent only to reveal without really revealing later that you don't intend to continue through with your plans? We would understand if you kept us in the loop about the process you have to go through with the actors/actresses and getting them to sign on, or the sponsors you have to contact to help fund the shows, or whatever else goes on behind the scenes to get the ball rolling. The thing is, you didn't do that. You told us you'd be reviving the shows and even gave us an anticipated premiere date, then put that date on ice, then put the entire concept on ice. No real reason given, just one bit of news every so often. Is this how you endear yourself to people waiting to give your website tens of thousands of hits a day so we can watch our shows? I personally think its a crock of [expletive]. You shouldn't offer to pick up the show, shouldn't even publicize interest, until you have everything else in place. We understand this is a new web network, and we understand that this concept in general, soap operas making the move from a television network to an Internet network, is a new one. However, we don't like our chains being yanked and we're sure the castmates that already pledged loyalty to not only keep a job but help said web network, don't appreciate it either. You have castmates like Susan Lucci waiting to find out more because talks have almost completely halted. One, that doesn't make sense as you should be talking to them more than ever right now, what you're doing right now isn't even a way to ensure they return; they could go out and find other jobs and wouldn't be permitted or even available to return should a deal finally go through. For the castmates who actually did commit already, they can't wait forever either. They've got families to feed and careers to continue building, whether its as the character we are familiar with or on completely new horizons. Doing what you're doing is only ensuring that these soaps will not return in the manner we're used to, with some of the same faces, if it ends up returning at all. People that may have at one time been committed or interested will start looking elsewhere as the days continue to pass without any word, which leaves you even more characters short. If that dwindles down enough to where you have no large star power to promote the return of the show, what do you have? You either have a completely new show that just happens to have a historic name and nothing else linking it to what we used to watch, or you have nothing at all. Which I'm beginning to wonder wasn't the plan all along once you realized this was far from a done deal and since it seems as though you can't hold up your end of the bargain. I can say though, this definitely is not a way to ensure the fans return if they've given up on it. So in short, Prospect Park, time is ticking. Get it together.

Ugh. I suppose my open letter/rant to Prospect Park is done for now. I'm glad I got most of that out; it had been sitting there for 3 months. lol

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New Year, New Stuff!

Well as I mentioned in my last blog post from last year (btw Happy New Year!), this blog would be making some changes as my television preferences have shifted from being primarily soap opera oriented. I still kept Daytime Suds in the title as I do hope and intend one day to eventually move this back to being its own site and restart the tv review site on another blog, but until then since I only watch one soap I decided to combine it. Everything with the soaps will stay the same, LOD, LOW, COW, Popped Bubbles and Suds Up will remain a part of this column, as will the weekly reviews when I remember to watch.

The new part of this blog will be the other half of this new title, the bitchy tv show reviews. I'll review almost anything I watch, syndicated, popular, stupid, funny, sitcom, whatever. I'm aware that nobody's waiting with baited breath for my rambling reviews, but if they don't like it, too bad. I enjoy writing reviews and I enjoy watching shows to provide these reviews as well. Maybe someone'll read em eventually and think my opinion wasn't half bad. It also provides me again with a journal of sorts. So if you look at it that way, I'm not writing any of these blogs for anyone, therefore not entitling or requiring you to read my often run on 8 track of thoughts. lol

I can tell you a little about the shows I do watch so you can see what kind of direction the blog will be going in. I watch quite a few things on tv nowadays, however most of said things are in syndication and prob won't warrant more than a review or two. I am an avid food lover so when I remember and can get the energy up to watch, Food Network will have quite a few reviews here. I also watch alot of bridal tv so My Fair Wedding, which is currently in a new season, and Bridezillas will also have their space on the blog.  A current show I do watch and am looking forward to providing reviews on is Being Erica. Season 3 premieres on SoapNet on January 26th and as a viewer from the very first episode and currently in my 9th month of Strange withdrawals, I can't wait. Let's see...as far as shows still on the air, that's about it. The rest of the shows are in syndication, like Ghost Whisperer, Without a Trace, New York Undercover, and of course my sitcoms. But don't worry, I will try my hardest not to let it get stagnant like it did before.

At the moment, I am trying to get things straight in my life so my attentions are a bit scattered. I'm going back to school next month after an extended hiatus I took back in November and I am also looking for ways to start up a little kiosk in my town. I also develop products for IMVU, so even though the majority of my life is centered online, things are still about to be quite busy. So sometimes I may skip a review but if its something current, I promise to watch the soonest rerun and review it. I've also been looking to add a few things to the blogs (I run 3) to increase my readers so that's podcasts, audio/video broadcasts if possible, different widgets to add to the site, etc. I said all that to say please bear with me for a little while. I have alot of ideas and quite a few things to do, so it might take a minute for me to get everything straight. But if everything I want and intend to do with these blogs go as planned, it should be up and fantastico in no time. Even if I only have 3 readers to enjoy it. lol

Tomorrow morning I will be doing an ongoing blog during Food Network's morning lineup as most of the shows on tomorrow are new episodes, and Sunday will be the first review of My Fair Wedding. If I remember, I'll watch the weekly recap of GH so I can give that run down before MFW comes on. See ya in the morning!

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