When I first decided to post about this challenge, I thought I'd share my personal experience with self-love and how I learned to love myself, but I realized that I'd shared so much of the story that the challenge was pushed further and further down the page. lol So I had to start over and seriously condense it so the point of the post wasn't lost. But anyway, ever since I did my 30-Day Wellness Challenge (which I promise will be up soon) back in May, I've been itching to do another challenge of some kind. I got busy with trying to cross items off the Bucket List for the majority of the summer and all of August was pretty much consumed with completing Summer Under the Stars over on the vintage blog, so I didn't really have time to look for another challenge to do. Over the past month or so, I've noticed that the topic of self-love has come up a number of times in personal conversations and I thought a challenge focused on that would be a natural follow-up to those conversations. In one of those talks, I remember telling the person I was talking to that when I was younger and at times even as an adult, I wondered how one could know when they were doing something that promoted self-love. What specific actions could I execute to purposely show myself love? When the question was returned to me within that conversation, I found myself surprised...and proud...that I had a multitude of answers. It took me a long time to come into the knowledge of how to properly love myself, but then I realized that in small ways, I'd been doing small self-love actions for years, and you probably have too. But I remember back when I couldn't answer the question at all, so I looked online for some help on what it means to love oneself and actions that could help start the process, and I came across this article on mindbodygreen about a 30-Day Self-Love Challenge. It was perfect timing and killed two birds with one stone. I actually meant to post this a couple of days ago so that if you wanted to jump in the challenge at the beginning of the month with me you could, but my laptop hates me again so it held me off for a day. I'll mention that in another post.
Anyway, I decided to take on this challenge, not only because I never miss an opportunity to give myself some lovin' (not that kind ya nasty), but because it can be helpful to others starting out on the journey of taking time for themselves and learning to love spending time alone. I came to the realization that I needed to take time for myself and do things that I genuinely enjoyed, just because I wanted to do them. When I came across the 30-Day Self Love Challenge, I figured this would be a good time to make me stick to my goal of putting forth the effort to make myself feel good and take advantage of the opportunity to spoil myself. I don't mean that in a superficial way. What I mean by that mainly is that instead of expecting or desiring certain things from other people and being upset when I don't receive them, I would rather ask and get it from myself instead. So instead of feeling empty and upset like I have noticed many single people (myself included at one time) tend to feel because they're alone, I'd rather feel full and loved, because I am full of the love I consistently show myself. The mentality that nobody can treat me better than I treat myself has helped teach me to regard myself with nothing but the utmost respect, love and care. It has also ensured that I no longer put myself in situations that aren't the healthiest, with people who won't treat me well. That's not just for boyfriends, that's for friends and even family. Not only will I no longer allow myself to be put down and insulted by others, I try not to put myself down, insult or beat myself up like I used to. I won't compare my body to others and allow myself to feel worse about what I have..or don't have. I want to feel special to somebody one day; I mean who doesn't? But I need to feel special to myself first, and if I won't tolerate certain things from others because they hurt me then I shouldn't tolerate them from myself either. Nobody can treat, spoil or love me better than me because now I know exactly what I want and what will make me happy. It's not a long list of things and none of it is material-based, but they're all still important to me. If someone can come along and raise the bar because he loves me that deeply, then great. But if not, that's great too. I'm kind of a catch so whether some dude gets to reap the benefits or I do, it's still a win for everyone involved, right? LOL I kid. Sorta.
Anyway, since I have had that mentality, I try to spoil myself every now and again with a special treat, I'll challenge myself to go somewhere I've really wanted to go and just enjoy the experience when I get there, or I'll just lounge at home and do something I want to do. Everything that I normally expect from others, especially the things I look most for in a relationship with someone else, I give myself first. Respect, time, attention, consideration, a true commitment, trust, and love. Actions that foster those things help me to recharge my batteries, they make me appreciate what I can give to others a lot more, and I now know how to avoid my tank being depleted by others. I've learned more about what I want, I know how to articulate it now, and I know what fills me up/depletes me emotionally, all of which were things I didn't know definitively for a number of years. I knew I wanted to be treated with all the attributes I named, but I wasn't sure how to articulate what behaviors showed me those things, which I'm sure confused my boyfriends at the time. All of the attention, time, effort, support and love I would show to boyfriends I now put towards myself and to be honest, I feel more loved now than I did in some of those relationships. I think self-love is extremely vital to one's well-being and sense of self in general, so if you're struggling with taking time for yourself or learning about how to show yourself that you are indeed loved, I think you should take this challenge with me.
The original challenge is one that can be started at any time, but I wanted to do it for the month of September and finish up before the holiday craziness sets in. For me, the challenge is Self-Love September (I'm an alliteration fan, in case you couldn't tell by now. Hello, Pinterest Project and Subscription Box Series. lol) and the challenge is doing something for the sole purpose of your enjoyment or peace of mind for those 30 days. The original challenge has a template of sorts that you can use to develop your own list, which was a great starting point because I wouldn't have had the first clue of where to begin. Maybe you do some of these things now, but they don't feel as special as they should. You're doing them, but they're just normal things to you and you don't see them as self-love building actions. Make those small things feel more special. Start from the template list (I would paste it here but even if I properly source it I still feel like I'm stealing lol) and come up with your own list. I'm keeping some of the original things, but putting them in different days and adding a few of my own things to the list. Follow me on Instagram to keep up with the things I've chosen for that day; I've already posted what I did last night (earlier this morning, I'm an insomniac) and what I'll be doing later today for Day 2 of the challenge. If you decide to do the challenge, tag your posts with the challenge's original tag, #30daysofselfiecare and for the blog, use the tag #rrntselflove so I can see what you're doing. I really hope you decide to participate if you come across this post and if you do, good luck!
Anyway, I decided to take on this challenge, not only because I never miss an opportunity to give myself some lovin' (not that kind ya nasty), but because it can be helpful to others starting out on the journey of taking time for themselves and learning to love spending time alone. I came to the realization that I needed to take time for myself and do things that I genuinely enjoyed, just because I wanted to do them. When I came across the 30-Day Self Love Challenge, I figured this would be a good time to make me stick to my goal of putting forth the effort to make myself feel good and take advantage of the opportunity to spoil myself. I don't mean that in a superficial way. What I mean by that mainly is that instead of expecting or desiring certain things from other people and being upset when I don't receive them, I would rather ask and get it from myself instead. So instead of feeling empty and upset like I have noticed many single people (myself included at one time) tend to feel because they're alone, I'd rather feel full and loved, because I am full of the love I consistently show myself. The mentality that nobody can treat me better than I treat myself has helped teach me to regard myself with nothing but the utmost respect, love and care. It has also ensured that I no longer put myself in situations that aren't the healthiest, with people who won't treat me well. That's not just for boyfriends, that's for friends and even family. Not only will I no longer allow myself to be put down and insulted by others, I try not to put myself down, insult or beat myself up like I used to. I won't compare my body to others and allow myself to feel worse about what I have..or don't have. I want to feel special to somebody one day; I mean who doesn't? But I need to feel special to myself first, and if I won't tolerate certain things from others because they hurt me then I shouldn't tolerate them from myself either. Nobody can treat, spoil or love me better than me because now I know exactly what I want and what will make me happy. It's not a long list of things and none of it is material-based, but they're all still important to me. If someone can come along and raise the bar because he loves me that deeply, then great. But if not, that's great too. I'm kind of a catch so whether some dude gets to reap the benefits or I do, it's still a win for everyone involved, right? LOL I kid. Sorta.
Anyway, since I have had that mentality, I try to spoil myself every now and again with a special treat, I'll challenge myself to go somewhere I've really wanted to go and just enjoy the experience when I get there, or I'll just lounge at home and do something I want to do. Everything that I normally expect from others, especially the things I look most for in a relationship with someone else, I give myself first. Respect, time, attention, consideration, a true commitment, trust, and love. Actions that foster those things help me to recharge my batteries, they make me appreciate what I can give to others a lot more, and I now know how to avoid my tank being depleted by others. I've learned more about what I want, I know how to articulate it now, and I know what fills me up/depletes me emotionally, all of which were things I didn't know definitively for a number of years. I knew I wanted to be treated with all the attributes I named, but I wasn't sure how to articulate what behaviors showed me those things, which I'm sure confused my boyfriends at the time. All of the attention, time, effort, support and love I would show to boyfriends I now put towards myself and to be honest, I feel more loved now than I did in some of those relationships. I think self-love is extremely vital to one's well-being and sense of self in general, so if you're struggling with taking time for yourself or learning about how to show yourself that you are indeed loved, I think you should take this challenge with me.
The original challenge is one that can be started at any time, but I wanted to do it for the month of September and finish up before the holiday craziness sets in. For me, the challenge is Self-Love September (I'm an alliteration fan, in case you couldn't tell by now. Hello, Pinterest Project and Subscription Box Series. lol) and the challenge is doing something for the sole purpose of your enjoyment or peace of mind for those 30 days. The original challenge has a template of sorts that you can use to develop your own list, which was a great starting point because I wouldn't have had the first clue of where to begin. Maybe you do some of these things now, but they don't feel as special as they should. You're doing them, but they're just normal things to you and you don't see them as self-love building actions. Make those small things feel more special. Start from the template list (I would paste it here but even if I properly source it I still feel like I'm stealing lol) and come up with your own list. I'm keeping some of the original things, but putting them in different days and adding a few of my own things to the list. Follow me on Instagram to keep up with the things I've chosen for that day; I've already posted what I did last night (earlier this morning, I'm an insomniac) and what I'll be doing later today for Day 2 of the challenge. If you decide to do the challenge, tag your posts with the challenge's original tag, #30daysofselfiecare and for the blog, use the tag #rrntselflove so I can see what you're doing. I really hope you decide to participate if you come across this post and if you do, good luck!
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