Hello and Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it)! Even though I don't really celebrate the holiday anymore, I do still identify with the gratitude portion of the day. It's a daily thing for me, which is one of the reasons Thanksgiving doesn't really do anything for me as holidays go, but whatever. I still like taking the time to think about what I'm thankful for in my life. If you've read some of my posts throughout the year, then I'm sure it's not a surprise at all that this has been a challenging year for me. I've had worse years, but 2017 has been especially difficult for me personally and financially, and a lot of the time that's what I'm focusing on. How bad the year has been, what I've been trying to overcome throughout the year. It's easy to be thankful when things are going well and you feel like the universe is on your side. It's a lot more difficult but more fulfilling to produce a list of things to be thankful for when you feel like things are going wrong and the universe isn't on your side, which is why I wanted to make a part two of this list.
I did one a couple of years ago and things weren't fabulous then either, but I definitely had a lot more in the tank then than I do now. Because things have been rather bad, I thought it would be a perfect time to make a list of the good in my life this past year, so that I'd have something positive to look back on the year. I'm always thankful for the little I do have, but it gets hard for me to remember that sometimes when the bad is usually more prominent.
I did one a couple of years ago and things weren't fabulous then either, but I definitely had a lot more in the tank then than I do now. Because things have been rather bad, I thought it would be a perfect time to make a list of the good in my life this past year, so that I'd have something positive to look back on the year. I'm always thankful for the little I do have, but it gets hard for me to remember that sometimes when the bad is usually more prominent.
1. I'm thankful that my foot is finally healed.
When I did this list two years ago, I'd mentioned that I was grateful I hadn't broken my toe when I hit it a few days prior. I was still on crutches at the time but the swelling and pain had started to subside, so I assumed it was just a really bad bruise. As I updated later, that shit was broke. LOL So now that I'm on the other side of a year of appointments, therapy and a surgery, I am immensely grateful that my foot is finally healed. I'm 7 months post-surgery and my doctor finally gave me a clean bill of health on my toe back in August. The break has caused arthritis to develop in my toe, which has been a real thorn in my side the past two winters, but now that it's healed I'm a little excited to see if there are going to be any long-term changes. Overall I'm just glad it's healed. I'm not in a boot, not in a shoe, not stuck doing 30-minute long TENS therapy treatments every night, no longer having to limp everywhere. I may have arthritis in my toe now and I'm still learning to trust the strength of my foot in general again, but it's no longer broken and as of now, no more surgeries or treatment are on the horizon.
2. I have a family who loves me.
I've made no secret of my strained relationship with my family despite still living with them. Things aren't as great as they could or should be and I sincerely doubt that they'll ever genuinely get to where I'd like them to be. That's okay. What I know and what I choose to try to focus on is that, for all of the issues we have with each other, I know these people love me. I know they want me to succeed in life and in the things I do, and I know that they don't want any harm to come to me. That's a hell of a lot more than some people can say about their families and I realize how blessed I am to know that despite the issues we have, I don't have to worry about my family not loving me. I know they do. They just suck sometimes. lol
3. I'm thankful that I can pay all of my bills every month.
Another thing I've made no secret of is my strained relationship with my pockets. lol They're usually empty and I'm not very happy about or appreciative of it, but I'm glad that they're empty because I paid all of my bills. I definitely don't have a lot of money but with the little I do have, I can still get everything done. I remember what it was like having to constantly negotiate with bill collectors, I remember having to duck and dodge them back in the day before everything went automated lol, and every month I'm grateful all over again for being able to pay everything in full. My pockets are empty, but my house has heat, the lights work and I can flush the toilet whenever the hell I want. 😂 I never have to worry about not being able to provide these things for my family and that feels really nice. It's very basic, but I will never forget that part of my life and I'll never be at a point where I won't be thankful for the ability to have the basics, even if that's all I have.
4. I'm thankful for my senses.
4. I'm thankful for my senses.
That probably sounds stupid, but you don't realize the importance of each sense until you have to function without it. I'm a nature buff (ya know, when its warm out) and usually going out somewhere green and lush, preferably with birds, helps me to calm down a little when I'm feeling anxious or stressed out. It's another basic thing that I really appreciate the ability to see, hear and feel. I think that's why I prefer my seasonal inspiration boards broken down into senses rather than how I've seen other bloggers put out their inspo boards--I think I approach the world in a similar way so doing my boards like that make the post more true to who I am. I try to involve all of my senses in whatever I'm doing so that it's a more immersive experience for me, and as a result I find that I enjoy things a lot better than when I just went into something but didn't ever take the time to realize or appreciate how special it was to experience it at all. I know, I know. Corny and probably sounds dumb as shit. But I'm thankful for the ability to experience things with all 5 of my senses.
5. I'm thankful for my nieces.
5. I'm thankful for my nieces.
I already mentioned being grateful for my family and the fact that they love me, but if you ever wanted to get to the root of my being, you'd have to go through my nieces. My family is my heart. My nieces, however, are my soul. I love them so much it literally makes my chest ache. lol My nieces are 7 months apart so they're nearly twins, but they're two completely different children and it's been so much fun to establish an individual bond with them both. I think the role I relish most in life is aunt. The love of a child is so genuine and unconditional and being able to have the unconditional love of two children warms my entire heart, which is quite cold these days. LOL I didn't think the family--or my brother, for that matter--was ready for any children when they came along, but I can't see the past four years of my life being the same without them. They've gotten me through so many dark times in my life, have no idea how they've saved me and wouldn't understand if I tried to tell them. I'm so grateful for them and the joy they've brought to my life.
6. I'm thankful for my house.
Let me be clear about something. I hate my house. It's drafty and has no insulation, is terribly structured and in desperate need of repair, to say the absolute least about it. It sucks. It could certainly be in worse condition and I am so grateful it isn't, but truthfully, it sucks. But its a roof over our heads and again, I remember what not having one felt like. I remember sleeping on people's couches, and I remember sharing a bed with my mom and brother because there was no room to sleep anywhere else and the place was crawling with bugs so it wasn't safe to sleep on the floor. I've come a long way. I hate this house the way it is now, it's falling apart and Housing refuses to fix it and wish I had the money to properly renovate it, but it's a roof over our heads. Everyone has their own space, nobody's sleeping on a couch (and if they do it's by choice lol), and for the kids, this is their childhood home. They grew up here. I grew up in a bunch of places, so it was important for my mom and I to give them the stability I didn't get to have. I'm thankful we've been able to do that, even if the house sucks. 😄
7. I'm thankful for the ladies at my mom's church.
That probably sounds random, but I was just thinking about one of the ladies from my mom's church. She's such a beautiful soul. She brought us some food for Thanksgiving and gave my mom a gift card so we could get dinner and I was just remembering how much I loved her for thinking of us like that. My mom's been part of her church for a little over 3 years now, and she's had four hospital stays in that time. Every time she's been in the hospital, some of the ladies from her church study group bring us food to help lighten the load. I usually have the house on my own when my mom's sick, so it was a Godsend that they thought of us and gave me one less thing to do every day. One lady in particular has come by every time my mom's been in the hospital, every Thanksgiving and every Christmas to give us a gift card so we can buy food and she brings us food when my mom's sick. She gives the best hugs and has the most caring, gentle, loving spirit. Her husband, who is also a sweetheart, has serious health issues and she will spend all day caring for him and still think of us enough to bring us by some food and genuinely ask how we're doing. I remember the first time I met her, she brought some food over and she asked how I was doing. I was tired, stressed out and cranky but something about her just set me at ease. She told me she loved me and I almost lost it right there. This stranger, who wouldn't know me from Adam, told me she loved me and gave me one of the best hugs I've ever received in my life. lol There was something so loving and authentic about it that if she hadn't left when she did, I would have become a blubbering mess. I am so thankful for their generosity to us, for their concern for us, when we needed it the most. I would love to repay them for their kindness and I hope that one day I can.
8. I'm thankful for you!
If this is the first post you've read or you read my posts regularly, thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate you spending a little time with me and hope you make it back to visit again soon.
I know this was a shorter list than the last one but on a superficial note, I just put some nails on and can no longer type properly so I'm using two pencil erasers to type. 😂With this change in conditions, I have to end the list here. lol I'm still trash at typing with nails on so I'd rather not spend the rest of the day making typos and pressing Backspace. It's annoying, to say the least, so I'm gonna go now. What are you thankful for this year? Have an amazing evening and I'll see you soon!
6. I'm thankful for my house.
Let me be clear about something. I hate my house. It's drafty and has no insulation, is terribly structured and in desperate need of repair, to say the absolute least about it. It sucks. It could certainly be in worse condition and I am so grateful it isn't, but truthfully, it sucks. But its a roof over our heads and again, I remember what not having one felt like. I remember sleeping on people's couches, and I remember sharing a bed with my mom and brother because there was no room to sleep anywhere else and the place was crawling with bugs so it wasn't safe to sleep on the floor. I've come a long way. I hate this house the way it is now, it's falling apart and Housing refuses to fix it and wish I had the money to properly renovate it, but it's a roof over our heads. Everyone has their own space, nobody's sleeping on a couch (and if they do it's by choice lol), and for the kids, this is their childhood home. They grew up here. I grew up in a bunch of places, so it was important for my mom and I to give them the stability I didn't get to have. I'm thankful we've been able to do that, even if the house sucks. 😄
7. I'm thankful for the ladies at my mom's church.
That probably sounds random, but I was just thinking about one of the ladies from my mom's church. She's such a beautiful soul. She brought us some food for Thanksgiving and gave my mom a gift card so we could get dinner and I was just remembering how much I loved her for thinking of us like that. My mom's been part of her church for a little over 3 years now, and she's had four hospital stays in that time. Every time she's been in the hospital, some of the ladies from her church study group bring us food to help lighten the load. I usually have the house on my own when my mom's sick, so it was a Godsend that they thought of us and gave me one less thing to do every day. One lady in particular has come by every time my mom's been in the hospital, every Thanksgiving and every Christmas to give us a gift card so we can buy food and she brings us food when my mom's sick. She gives the best hugs and has the most caring, gentle, loving spirit. Her husband, who is also a sweetheart, has serious health issues and she will spend all day caring for him and still think of us enough to bring us by some food and genuinely ask how we're doing. I remember the first time I met her, she brought some food over and she asked how I was doing. I was tired, stressed out and cranky but something about her just set me at ease. She told me she loved me and I almost lost it right there. This stranger, who wouldn't know me from Adam, told me she loved me and gave me one of the best hugs I've ever received in my life. lol There was something so loving and authentic about it that if she hadn't left when she did, I would have become a blubbering mess. I am so thankful for their generosity to us, for their concern for us, when we needed it the most. I would love to repay them for their kindness and I hope that one day I can.
8. I'm thankful for you!
If this is the first post you've read or you read my posts regularly, thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate you spending a little time with me and hope you make it back to visit again soon.
I know this was a shorter list than the last one but on a superficial note, I just put some nails on and can no longer type properly so I'm using two pencil erasers to type. 😂With this change in conditions, I have to end the list here. lol I'm still trash at typing with nails on so I'd rather not spend the rest of the day making typos and pressing Backspace. It's annoying, to say the least, so I'm gonna go now. What are you thankful for this year? Have an amazing evening and I'll see you soon!
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