Young & the Restless, this goodbye was long overdue.

This goodbye was years in the making. How many years, you ask? Almost 3, if I remember correctly. It has been that long since YR interested me enough to keep me around as a regular Soapnet viewer. I never caught it in the morning since it came on at the same time as AMC, so when I was a viewer of both shows I always watched AMC instead and caught YR during the evening before my ABC reruns started. And for awhile, I loved where the show was going. I grew up on Young and the Restless. Victor and Jack became a normal part of my day and until I ran across AMC, was my lifetime favorite soap. I thought the show was hot and sexy, but had enough drama and cliffhangers to keep me interested, and enough characters to give me balance. But when Y&R started reminding me of B&B with their back and forth Sharon and Nick drama, I couldn't hang anymore because it started hogging up screen time as well. Over the past two years though, I slowly became more and more angry with the show and eventually tuned out entirely. From time to time I read the spoilers or the Two Scoops on Soapcentral so I can see what's going on, but all that those do for me now is reinforce why I no longer watch the show. I'm sure its still interesting and has its intriguing points, in no way am I saying the show is horrible because its still #1 for a reason. I'm just saying its no longer for me.

Now the Nick and Sharon thing goes back at least 5 years, but I was interested for a little while. At first, Nick and Phyllis was ok in theory to me, it gave me a bit of a Mrs.Robinson vibe and I thought it was a change from what I was familiar with. In no way was I expecting or even wanting that to be long-term. I've had a love-hate relationship with Phyllis from the first time I saw her over 10 years ago and when it comes to messing up the cosmic bond that is Nick and Sharon, I'd lean towards hate. lol Despite my previous hatred however, I came to like Nick and Phyllis together. Never loved the two together because it just didn't seem right, but I did like watching some of their chemistry together. But I always secretly wished Nick and Sharon would come to their senses and find a way back to each other. Underneath all my criticism, cynicism and general dislike for most things, I am quite the romantic. Go figure huh. I am a sucker for soap romance and I'll gladly watch a couple reunite, a pillow in my lap and my hands clasped together, all kinds of tears in the eyes. lol When Nick and Sharon finally looked at each other with all that lost love and longing in their eyes up in that cabin a couple of years ago, I breathed a sigh of relief. But when the roads cleared up and they returned to Phyllis and Jack respectively, I was disappointed. Their love isn't something I think is justified correctly with hidden trysts in snowed-in cabins and hotels. Then Sharon had that whole hoe train running for a little while and that entire relationship with Adam pissed me off. I'd rather have seen her with Victor than Adam. Point blank, either put Nick and Sharon back together and stop with the bs, or let them move on.

Speaking of Adam, I couldn't stand him when I first saw him and when he was recast he lost all of his crackers and didn't leave much, if any, room for redemption. The trauma that he put Ashley and Sharon through was disgusting for me to watch and as stupid as they made Ashley through her pregnancy was stupefying. Do you really expect me to believe a woman as strong and capable as Ashley deluded herself into thinking she was pregnant for months, into thinking she could trust Adam of all people above her own brother? Come on now! Sharon has always been a bit of a damsel in distress, another of my sore points with the show, but the way they dumbed Ashley down in order to carry that storyline through was insane. I'm not one for baby switches anyway; I wasn't a viewer when AMC's Bianca and Babe did it but I hated reading about it, I couldn't stand it when OLTL switched Jessica and Starr's daughters, and this storyline repulsed me as well. I couldn't wait for Adam to get his. He's not at a Sheila level, where he's just the crazy character with no redemption and no conscience that coincidentally is always a treat to see. He was irritating, insane, and I wasn't interested in watching him redeem himself. I didn't care. At least with Sheila, I don't want her to redeem herself because then she wouldn't be the deliciously evil bitch that she is. I don't ever want to see Sheila normal. Ever. lol I don't ever want to see Adam....again. lmao

I hated that the Carlton family is pretty much gone, felled by the same lake coincidentally. It was sad when I watched Colleen's death and part of me was hoping she'd come back, even though I'd already read casting spoilers and Tammin Sursok was definitely not returning to the show. I still tried to hold a little hope that maybe this was a last-minute change and she'd wake up from a coma or something or at least that there'd be hope she could return, but when Victor got her heart I knew it was a done deal. It was very sad for me, but I did like the dramatic feel of everything. Speaking of Colleen, that whole mess with Patty and/or Dr. Emily was nuts to me. Patty was unhinged on....at least 5 different levels and I wanted to see her gone more than I wanted the show to redeem her or have her get hers for what she had done to other people. I knew the Dr.Emily bit was partly to keep Stacy Haiduk around because she is a good actress; I was familiar with her work on AMC, where she coincidentally played yet another nutball; but double roles like that usually don't go over very well for me. And this one was no different. She isn't with the show now and wasn't much of an interest to me when she was, but it did spice things up slightly, even if it was only for a little while.

I have to admit I did enjoy the recent popping up of stars of YR's yesteryear, like Traci and occasionally Danny or even Snapper this past August. It helped take me back to a time when soaps reigned supreme during the day, a time when love in the afternoon wasn't all that hard to find. Unfortunately, those visits never lasted long and before I knew it, they'd quickly gone back to wherever they were before, leaving me with shells of what my favorite soap had become. I know that the soap isn't going to and I guess shouldn't be expected to maintain the same flow as it did nearly 20 years ago (man were the 90s really 20 years ago??) but As I mentioned in the OLTL blog, I am not a huge fan of recasts, especially if the role is synonymous with one name. I think you already know who I'm referring to here. Shemar Moore is Malcolm Winters to me, all day long. With him on Criminal Minds now I know there's no chance he'd be reprising the role and the character does have history in Genoa City, so I figured that at some point there would be a recast. However, I did think the writers would pay a little more attention to continuity and at least a similar look to the character, hell the same skintone would have been okay with me. However, instead of the milky chocolate, smooth voiced character I was used to I got a dark chocolate, Eddie Winslow-sounding character masquerading as Malcolm. I just couldn't get used to it and I'll admit I wrote him off pretty soon. Nothing against Darius McCrary, I just associate Shemar Moore with Malcolm Winters and don't really think the role can handle a recast after so long. Also, I just don't think he embodies the sexiness that was part of Malcolm's general allure. Not that McCrary is unattractive, but he doesn't ooze sex in the way that has become synonymous with Malcolm. Call me closed-minded, I couldn't accept a recast, even if I do like the actor.

I don't know many soap fans these days who don't know about the trouble behind the scenes with Victoria Rowell and....well, depends on who you're asking. Some say the trouble is with Michelle Stafford, some say its with Stafford and Peter Bergman, yet others still say its with her own soap daughter, Christel Khalil. And even more say its simply staffers that have the issues with Rowell and she is exaggerating them to portray herself as the victim in the story. At the end of the day Rowell claims that she had interest in portraying Drucilla again and I do miss my Dru. But I think things have become too sticky for her to ever have a clean return to the show. Which is unfortunate because Rowell really is a good actress and her last storyline with the Carmen Mesta mess was, I felt, undeserving for someone with so much longevity and history with the show. Neil really hasn't seemed to find his way since Dru's exit and I think Lily could have really benefited from having her mother there with her through her fight with cancer. I haven't seen anything from Nate Jr. in years, Devon hasn't had a stable female in his life since she's been gone, and Olivia really doesn't have much purpose now that her sister is gone, she already had her little thing with Neil and her friendship with Ashley is over, not to mention Brad is gone now as well. That family is hurting without Dru there and as the only family of color on the show, it's sad for me to see that through the years the Winters family has slowly fallen.

Its a defeating thing for me over the years to watch the soap that I grew up on slowly change and evolve. I guess it would be okay for me if the changes didn't seem so....drastic I suppose. No more Gina's, no more scenes (in recent memory anyway) at Nick and Sharon's old house, no more love in the afternoon. I have been trying to like the show because its the one I grew up on, but over the years I've fallen out of love with it. The teen scene from my years has been long grown and excluding one whose face is no longer even the same, is gone. Brittany's been gone for years, JT is now gone and so is Mackenzie, yet again. The characters I grew up watching, Gina, Danny, even the Newmans' old butler, are gone. In place are new faces, new locations, alot of older characters but the majority are not together. In short, the show is still amazing and the cast is great, a set of wonderful actors and actresses. But just like with OLTL, its no longer for me.

So on that note, I bid Genoa City a fond farewell as well. From time to time I suppose I could catch an epi on Soapnet, but unless the show pulls it out of the fire for me and brings me something to escape to, something not so full of pain and hurt like it has been in recent years, I won't be back. I love soaps because they're a happy place for me, somewhere that happiness at some level still exists. But yet on every show, someone's dying or in jail, or beating a charge, or something. I want my drama and cliffhangers, but to tell the truth, I still kind of miss the campiness of old. I miss the telltale happiness and love that definitely isn't present in large forms in our day anymore, the kind that instills just a little hope and belief in your own situations. I miss characters we can root for, characters who encounter obstacles just like us and don't undergo four personality shifts in as many years. I miss typical whodunnits and the occasional murder. I also miss the days where spoilers and more about the actors weren't bigger news than the characters they played and the shows they were on, the days where you only heard those things if it was huge news, and not a daily occurrence. I understand wanting to bring us closer to some of our favorite actors and actresses, but especially in the case of casting news, makes us miss out on a welcome thrill. I miss true suspense but unfortunately with the age of the Internet, those days are long gone as long as someone on a set is willing to spill. The Internet's not all bad and in fact is my favorite thing, it gives people and blabbers like me a voice, but I miss genuinely being surprised by a change or a twist. I miss not being able to guess who did it, not being able to tell what was going to be on my screen in a month, I miss waiting on the edge of my seat waiting with held breath for the next show. And for even a little while after I became an avid spoiler and scoops reader, I was still in some suspense with Young and the Restless. Maybe its so much time on the air, maybe its that old plot twists still work, I'm not sure..but nothing feels new, young or particularly restless to me. I feel restless watching the show because I miss the YR of old. Hell, maybe the issue is me not liking change. lol Let's go with that one. lol In any case, I think excluding a few episodes from time to time, my regular viewing of this show is done as well. And so that closes this here rant. Mandy out.

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Taking A Greyhound Out Of Llanview

Nope, I didn't wanna take a flight, and I took a train in from Pine Valley so I could gather my things. I want to take a Greyhound out. I wanna remember all the things I liked about Llanview, I want a time to reminisce a little bit. I am also giving the town one last chance on that slow bus ride out of the city to pull me back in, I want them to run after the bus and give me a reason to stay. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem as though I'll be getting my wish so much like my goodbye blog to Pine Valley, this is my goodbye to Llanview as well. It's gonna be lengthy because I'm feeling a little long-winded tonight, so bear with me.

Much like All My Children, I found One Life on Soapnet, partly because I think I forgot to change the channel after an epi of AMC and ended up liking it. Coincidentally, some time later that is the exact same way I fell in love with GH. lol What can I say, I'm consistent. Watching those three soaps got me through alot of sleepless nights, which come my way on the daily. One Life was at first exciting, full of a cast of characters that I either loved or came to love over time, plots that kept me interested, and more love in the afternoon at first than either AMC or GH. I loved it and thought AMC was the perfect lead-in. Over time, my viewing tapered off as storylines started to bore me and when I came back it was like watching an entirely new show.

Its no secret that in the soap world, you could miss a couple weeks, come back and its still two days later, or you could miss two weeks and miss almost an entire storyline, and in the case of Llanview I missed entire storylines. I thought the casting directors made a few mistakes this year, some with letting talented actors like BethAnn Bonner go via that serial killer bit at the beginning of the year, and adding certain people to the fold on a constant basis like the entire Ford family, all of whom I feel are irrelevant and take the focus away from other stories with better material. I'm sure these guys are good actors, but I'm just not invested in any of them as individuals or as a family. A year and a half ago none of them were around and now they are here, hogging up time on my screen that I would much rather see devoted to the underutilized characters in the cast, like Marty or even Roxy, who I find to be a hoot and a half.

Speaking of Marty, that was one of the big reasons why I ultimately decided to leave Llanview alone. I love Susan Haskell's work as Marty even though when she began her tenure I wasn't a viewer. The Marty I was familiar with before Haskell's return was Christina Chambers, and I purposely didn't pull up any of the originator's work because I wanted to just enjoy the plot and not compare. When Chambers was let go, I was sad but I was excited when I heard the originator of the role was returning to the show. I dunno, maybe its me being a cheesy soap fan and a huge fan of consistency (just look at how I found all 3 ABC soaps, that should be a hint lol), I am always excited when an originator returns to their place on a soap, whether or not I was a viewer when they were around the first time. I'm not a huge fan of recasts because so many of them fail horribly, but sometimes they hit it out of the park and I don't mind. However, if the originator decides to return, I usually don't complain. In any case, I was thrilled when Susan Haskell returned to the show, as I was interested to see what Marty's backstory was. However, that thrill was dimmed and then put out when they allowed her to shack up with the person who was the catalyst for her angst, then promptly used her less and less. Susan Haskell is an excellent actress and I love the dramatic scenes that the show had her in. It really allowed her to shine, so I was extremely disappointed when she was handed less material. It's like unless the story is concerning Todd, John or her rape, the writers aren't sure what to do with Marty. And that's a shame to watch.

It baffled me that characters with backstory and history like Marty were underutilized, yet everytime I tuned in, one of those damn Ford boys was on my screen. I enjoyed Rob--is that his name? when he was the hot producer of David's "show" and provided temporary distractions for Langston, but I definitely did not like when the show broke up Lang and Markko in favor of turning Lang into a familiar soap mold, the cheatin' mold. Really really hated that angle. Lang has always been the sense of reason, the logic that a sometimes ignorant Starr needed. All of a sudden she's cheating on her long term bf with some hot idiot that doesn't really pay her any mind except for between the sheets and she's reasoning and making excuses for him? Nah...really doesn't fly with me. That whole bit with Jessica really pissed me off and ever since then he and his brothers haven't done anything for me but irritate the weeds out of me. With them bringing the parental units in the picture and having them participate with major characters on  show, I am seeing now that the Fords may be around awhile longer. Which, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, is a shame to watch.

After all the hulabaloo surrounding Starr's teen pregnancy, I expected her and Cole to have more issues as they adjusted, which I think is vital for any couple who decides to move in together. Having a child come out of said relationship should have made the storyline more complex. How would they deal with being in the same house? How would they deal together with the issue of sex since one go around the park resulted in Hope? The writers had a real opportunity to show us some reality, to let us see a mature teen couple accept their responsibility to each other as well as their daughter and let us watch them grow together. Personally though, I think the writers dropped the ball there in a big way. Instead, the writers let them get boring. I know alot of people weren't too fond of Brandon Buddy's Cole, especially since he was the typical jock when he first hit the screen, but in the years he was part of the cast I gotta say, for starting out as a dickhead he did make some significant changes. Most jocks I knew in school were and still are insufferable jerks who think the world revolves around them and their daily dose of "Look what I did today, look at what I have, I'm better than you" all over their FB walls. I hardly think Cole is still an insufferable pain to watch. Granted, I did not like when OLTL became a segue for the Starr and Cole Show, but as long as there was some balance and enough plot to keep me interested, I was fine. But they got boring, grew apart, and then.....a Ford boy became involved, opening the door for Brandon Buddy to take his leave from the show. Le sigh. They're becoming a recurring theme in this blog, aren't they now?

Again, I could keep going, but I think I've said enough. In short, the show began to irritate me with the things it put in the storylines and the ways that they altered current and some past storylines. That entire storyline about Rex's parents annoyed the hell out of me and by the time I found out a returning Echo DiSavoy was his mother, I couldn't have cared less. I was really excited hearing that the show picked up Kim Zimmer after GL ended; she was one of my all-time favorite actresses. However, by the time that her scenes finally began to air, I couldn't even enjoy them because I was so done with the show. Underused characters should be having more air time and new faces with no history or connection with Llanview shouldn't be taking that time away from them. One Life became a sea of new faces to me, with old and familiar ones either doing things too stupid for me to believe, being too boring for me to care what they were doing, or not being around at all.

With that said, I'm going to continue my bus ride out of Llanview. I may come back to visit, may even stay a couple of days, but I no longer have residency there. lol I would love to tune in and see more of the soap that I came to love over the past four years, but until that happens, I have to say so long, Llanview.

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All My Children, I bid you adieu.

All My Children has now become another soap on my ever-growing list of soaps I no longer like. That leaves me with one remaining soap, General Hospital. It's a bittersweet goodbye for All My Children. I liked the show when I first found it on Soapnet, and I've mentioned a few times in the past that Alexa Havins (ex-Babe) and Jacob Young (JR) are the ones who got me started on the show because they were sharing a scene when I stumbled across it one night. Fast forward four and a half years, and Babe is dead after in my opinion a not-so-great recast (no offense to Amanda Baker, she did an awesome job; I just didn't think the character was Babe), Adam is gone, Stuart is dead, Josh is dead, Jesse and Angie are back but you wouldn't know it, Greenlee is back yet again, Annie appears to have regained her sanity, I can't keep up with or care enough about what Ryan's up to anymore, Erica and Jack are back to doing the back and forth junk,  David is presumably dead and too many characters are gone........its too much. And with the recent announcement that Thorsten Kaye is leaving the show for good (not surprisingly but still) and instead of having Zendall divorce, they instead choose to kill Zach off entirely, I bid the show good riddance.

A big part of the reason why I continued to watch All My Children after it started to piss me off was the chemistry between Zendall's portrayers. In the soap world we already know very few couples stay together throughout the course of a year, much less several. But Zendall did it. And now they decide to kill his character off for Sweeps week?! 6 years of work went into that character and he becomes folly for ratings? It's irritating! You expect me to believe that he survived the whole Satin Slayer debacle, Kendall's stint in prison, HIS stint in prison, being in that well for I forget how long without food or drink, and goodness knows what else Zendall was put through in the 4 years that I was a viewer, but that something stupid concocted during Sweeps is gonna take him out? Its unbelievably annoying and that was just the final straw for my dwindling threads of interest in this show.

I make it known that I was a huge fan of Annie McDermott Lavery Chandler. lol Notice for the first time I said 'was.' I am an Ann fan no longer. I first started to fall off the train after she killed Richie and turned into a madwoman. First she was this wonderful Earth Mother, a damaged victim from her abusive marriage to Terry McDermott and just trying to get her and Emma to a better life. Then she evolved into someone stronger because of her relationship with Ryan, and she was secure in herself and their relationship. I still maintain that Ryan's brain injury was the death knell for their marriage. It opened the door to Greenlee's re-entry into the equation and closed the door on any hope for Ryannie's survival. Then she turned into a survivor again after all of Richie's machinations and that's when the carefully built pyramid started to topple. The death of their relative came out, then she killed Richie and that was all she wrote. She went completely bat-shit nutball crazy for a few months, which was not only disappointing but insulting to me as someone who has had their own struggle with mental issues, anxiety and the like. Then she was pretending to be sane, when she really wasn't. Then all of a sudden Adam of all people takes her in and all of a sudden she IS sane? Then she gets a little fire under her ass and is still teeter tottering on the brink of sanity, meh....she's had too many changes to her character and even now, I wonder if she really is in control of her mental faculties. That's too much for me to handle for a character we were just introduced to 4 years ago. And now she's wormed her way into the Chandler fold and as much as I'd like to believe it'll get better, the long of the short of it is, I'm just not interested in her as a character anymore.

The demise of the Chandler family was sad to watch, even though I haven't been a long-term viewer of decades or anything like alot of other viewers. I was saddened like everyone else when the show decided to kill off Stuart last year. He was bright and always had a good word or a positive outlook, wasn't judgmental or manipulative and just wanted everyone happy. He was a welcomed breath of fresh air to an otherwise pretty dismal cast of characters, who were usually in the midst of some ordeal and had nothing positive to say. So even though the whodunnit was exciting at first the way the show laid it out and replayed the night of the murder (I never could turn down a good murder mystery and I absolutely loved how the show took us back through the night in question thru the viewpoint of each person that was there), I was sad that good ol' Stuart was at the heart of the matter. I haven't followed the list of Colby recasts, but Ambyr Childers' Colby was my personal favorite. Brianne Moncrief grew on me eventually, but Childers' was still my fav. I don't think the actress playing her now really is Colby, and the character has become forgettable. No offense to the actress, of course. JR has been through alot in the short 4 years I have watched this show, and as much as I love Jacob Young's work, I don't know if I can watch the show just for his character. It's a constant reminder that the person I really feel he should have been with is no longer on the show, and that was Babe. I have never been a fan of Marissa's and kind of feel that she's an unnecessary character, recasted or not. I can't say I'm sad to see her go. More on her later. And then of course there's the patriarch of the whole operation. Adam Chandler is one of a kind and so is David Canary. The show lost out BIG TIME by losing him in either role and Pine Valley is very noticeably empty without him. Palmer and Adam's rivalry was one of a kind, better than even Y&R's Victor and Jack's, and now one is gone and the other has left the show, seemingly for good. Its a huge sign that the times are changing and as one generation of soap icons is being ushered out, this is the new canvas for future icons to be cemented, if the soap opera industry in general has another generation of longevity left in them. Unfortunately, it came partially at the cost of the Chandler family on AMC.

The show didn't do a good job of weaving Marissa into the Carey's lives or cementing her with Krystal's or Babe's characters, even though Babe and Marissa were not around at the same time. All Marissa had to say in reference to her sister was 'I'm not Babe,' in that snarky tone of hers laced with resentment at the dead sister she never knew, like she'd been compared to Babe her entire life instead of just a few months. We realize that, Marissa. And we still don't care. It's pretty stupid to compare yourself to someone who's dead and you never knew in the first place. What she failed to realize is that she was on Babe's turf, with Babe's family and friends, and most importantly, with Babe's man. What else were they supposed to do? One year Babe is there and the next Marissa's just stepping effortlessly into her spot, with all her faux thoughts on positivity and being this goody goody two shoes ne'er do badder? Making the comparison was expected. Not to say that Babe was a horrible person, but the two are polar opposites in every way that mattered. The soap world ignores alot of things, but the situation of twins is never ignored. However, I would have loved to ignore Marissa. She just irritated me. Maybe that's because I'm a Babe stan, I dunno. In any case, I'm not sad she's gone.

I wasn't around when the Martins were a prominent part of the show, but Tad was always my favorite. I wasn't pleased when it came out that he was the one behind the Evil Doc's death even though I was a new viewer at the time, but meh...every character has a few missteps and that was one of his. I always found Tad to be a breath of fresh air as well and it saddened me that the writers found less and less to do with him over the years. I didn't mind too much when they paired him with Krystal although truth be told, I loved her with Adam. Krystal and Tad seemed to have a solid friendship so I didn't mind that they eventually got together. Heads up, whenever you suddenly see two characters becoming best friends and leaning on each other constantly, the writers are about to toss them into a romance. I learned that one quickly. lol I don't really like whatever they have him doing with Liza because I don't care for her as a character anyhow lol, but I mainly hate that the family has become background filler for other characters.

Another indication to me that a show is slipping or is nearing the end of its run is when they start introducing alot of unnecessary characters to the fold, some with ties to Pine Valley and some without. It happened to Guiding Light, then it happened to As The World Turns, and now it seems to have hit Pine Valley and Llanview as well. I'll have another post on my goodbye to Llanview soon. Hopefully within time the ones who really aren't needed will be weeded out, and the show can get back to what it was with its core characters and some balance, but for now I suppose introducing new people to the cast is how they can feel things will get shaken up. In some ways I understand, the population has dropped quite a bit in the last couple of years and its time for some new faces, but in that right introducing some new plots or ideas to keep us interested in them would be good too.

After awhile though, my favorite couple emerged and I tuned in to watch them on the daily. Zendall was sexy, had a unique love story, and was rooted in a love like not many other characters I've seen. They had longevity. True to the soap couple mold, they weren't safe from manipulation or infidelity that threatened to tear them apart, but somehow they always found their way back to each other. I'm a sucker for passion, and Zendall brought it everytime. After awhile though, watching them go through the same trials and tribulations and seemingly learning nothing from it each time got tiring, as did Zach's incessant and constant need to play God or save someone, or Kendall's nagging and seemingly constant turn to sex (sometimes with others lol) when she was in despair of some kind. Having sex in the sacred Slater marriage bed with one of Zach's biggest enemies was rotten for me as a Zendall stan, with her selfishly telling Ryan "It's all about us." Really?

I could keep going about all the things I was dissatisfied with which was a direct contrast to my opinion about the show four years ago, when I became a very enthusiastic SoapNet viewer but I have said too much already. I realize that times have to change, old stars must be ushered out so new ones have a time to shine, dramatic things have to happen in order to continue the foundation that soap operas are built on, but as a viewer, I guess I have to draw my own personal line and it seems that this is it. Just way too much in a long line and a long time of being dissatisfied with a soap I used to love.

In any case Pine Valley, its been fun but now its time to say adieu. You have changed too much from the show I initially fell in love with and I'm ready to get off the train.

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AMC 9/17/09 Dance-a-thon LOLs

Today's episode brought the LOLs for me and then some.

Scene of the Day:
Everyone doing the Drunken Turkey aka the Chicken Dance--it was totally campy yet totally AMC

LOLs:
Zach's face when Liza was all over him so they could take their rest break
Petey doing "the Liza" so that he could go to the bathroom
Kendall having to sit in her box and watch everyone else on tv

LOD:
"Looks like someone's been taking their vitamins." --Tad, to the camera
"You have such large feet, they're easier to hit." --Adam, to Erica
"Curb your pet, Erica." --Adam, to Erica

Randomisms:
1)Why does this dance-a-thon remind me a bit of the creepy carnival on GH from last week? It's disguised as being for something good and everyone in town is there, yet something ugly is about to happen. Ugh. When are the citizens of these cities going to learn that the town is combustible when put in the same room? Stay at home!!! 2)Annie and Madison would make quite the sinister pair of crazy chicks if they ever got together in the name of revenge. So why would I want to see that??? 3)Was the fly in the scene with Annie and Scott an extra, or soon to become a cast member? 4)Scott totally wants to do Annie. Crass but true. She wants him too. 5)I don't know about JR and Marissa, but I can't help thinking about Babe. Still a Jabe groupie. Sue me. 6)Were Erica and Ryan taking turns confronting everyone today or what? It was getting a little irritating. 7)Kinda surprised Krystal wasn't there; Lord knows she never passes up the chance to be at these big events with her chest hanging out. The one time she can be all over a man without being called a skank and she doesn't take the bait. Sigh. Do better, Krystal.

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End of Week Commentary

Sorry I haven't been around for so long---soaps have been boring me lately, and I've had alot and nothing to say at the same time. But I've got a couple minutes to kill, so let's go.

Am I wrong for not liking OLTL's Danielle? I find her to be a snobby, entitled brat and I can't stand her. I've got problems with that entire storyline for so many reasons its unreal. Firstly, all of the adults involved--Blair, Todd, Tea and Ross--were out for their own gain and not thinking about Danielle at all. Ross is now dead, Blair and Tea are playing the blame game in Tea's hotel and Todd's skipping around the truth with Starr; for what reason I don't know, she's gonna find out soon enough anyway then he's just gonna have another child mad at him for the fact that he knew Danielle was his and didn't tell Starr when he had the chance. Secondly, they need to be thinking about how to make this better for Danielle. Secondly, Danielle shouldn't be over 10 years old, yet here she is standing toe-to-toe with Destiny about how this is all her fault. Some of the fault lies with Destiny too, her childish jealousy got the best of her and she ratted Dani out to have Matthew to herself.

Seems like poor Nora traded one angry brother for another. For so long, Bo was angry at her for cheating on him long ago or whatever it was she did, I wasn't a viewer at the time. So she fell in love with Clint, then her and Bo rekindled their relationship and he finally forgave her. However, those feelings soon got back to Clint, who is now angry at her and thinks her trash. So while she was with Clint, Bo was angry but now she wants to be back with Bo and Clint wants nothing to do with her. Tsk tsk. I guess you just can't win em all.

Kudos of the day goes to Blair though for not letting Tea push her out when she came to apologize. Despite the dislike bordering on hatred constantly bubbling between the two of them, Blair came through for Tea today and offered her a shoulder to cry on, although it definitely wasn't Tea's shoulder of choice. The irony of this whole thing is that they are both in love with the man who's responsible for ruining both of their lives on several occasions. According to Tea, he doesn't want her, and Blair knows he doesn't want her either. And their entire rivalry is based on their mutual love for Todd and their petty need to get a 'win' over each other, with the main 'prize' being Todd and the loser's consolation being memories of their nights together. I know I shouldn't be on Todd's side here since this is his fault, but I'd love for him to find another woman and take both Tea and Blair off his radar. That would be a riot of hilarity. And quite fun to watch.

I'm not sure when it happened, but Langston and Markko are starting to get on my nerves. I still like them together and all, but it's like they lost their edge. When they came together a couple of years ago, they were misunderstood outcasts. Now Langston's like the town saint and Markko's the good ol' boy who can't afford much of anything so he has to work all the time yet has time to attend a concert and sit around for hours in the back of the Buenos Dias talking to Langston. That's why I'm glad they're bringing that hunky piece of meat Ford back to the picture. I don't know how long he'll be around, but he sizzles with Langston and after that whole Lola fiasco earlier this year (was it really less than a year ago?) that Langston had to watch in disgust then had to watch Markko's parents disown him and call her a tramp because they had sex, I think it's time to make good ol Markko squirm for a change. So let's see what happens there.

Kimmy's trying to sharpen her claws on Clint's post as he tosses Nora out on her ass.........though judging how today's episode ended, he and Nigel may be tossing her and Bo in the Buchanan mausoleum (btw who has a mausoleum on their home property? Creepers) out back instead. It is out back, right? lol I felt rotten for Clint and Jerry verDorn did a damn good job playing Clint as being destroyed by finding out Nora's infidelity. Using Kim for revenge worked beautifully, as Nora flipped out when she thought they were really having an affair. Which made me wonder why she cared and tried to flip it around on Clint, about why he never told her. I thought this marriage was a mistake for at least 3 reasons from the very beginning but I still held out a little hope that Clint and Nora would make it. It was foolish to think they would; I knew that from the beginning as well. But a girl can dream, right? Kim, the opportunistic pole-grinder that she is, is already designing her engagement ring, as she thinks this is going to be her chance to slither in and marry Clint, vulnerable as he is right now. Sad to say, but I think she's going to be at least slightly successful, but what I hope is that somewhere along the way, she ends up, against her will, falling in love with Clint. He deserves happiness, and I don't want another twit coming in to take advantage of him. And it would be too funny to watch Kim having to do all that work and end up failing not because Clint won't buy it, but because she falls in love with him and can't go through with it.

The same won't be said for Stacy, whose plan is about to blow up in her face. It relieves me immensely to know that her time in Llanview is coming to an end. I'm familiar with Crystal Hunt's work from Guiding Light as a younger Lizzie I believe, and she turns in good work even though Stacy is a disgusting character. She does a damn good job of making me despise Stacy. And I'm finally glad to know that she's on her way out, she can take her belly padding and her skanky makeup with her. Nothing more to say about that.

The soap world is mourning its second cancellation in a year, which puts the others on high alert---soaps are rapidly declining and may be in their twilight years. This week we were hit with the blow that sometime next year, another CBS soap, As The World Turns, will be having its final curtain call. I grew up watching this show too, as I did with Guiding Light. The Snyders, the Montgomerys and the irreplacable Lucinda Walsh were as much a part of my childhood as the Spauldings and the Coopers. This is not a hit to just ATWT fans, this is a hit to all soap fans in general but in particular CBS soap fans and puts ABC soap fans on alert---within the past year, CBS has erased half of its daytime lineup. The remaining soaps are Young and the Restless and Bold and the Beautiful, which isn't even an hour long. ABC still has a full day of soaps but for how long? With One Life to Live and All My Children both dodging cancellation rumors several times within the year and AMC's much-discouraged move to LA in January, how long will it be before ABC jumps on the bandwagon and decides to put something else on in those time slots instead? As painful as it is to admit, times are changing. You don't wake up anymore to Bob Barker on Price is Right or eat lunch with Sally Spectra and the B&B crew, and you aren't watching Alan and Philip duke it out on Guiding Light anymore when the kids get in from school. Reality tv and remakes have taken over tv and soaps are slowly but surely being phased out. It's impossible to ignore and unavoidable for the rest of the soaps still clinging on. I'd love to say that soaps will always be around, it never occurred to me 10 years ago that two of the soaps I grew up on would never be here, but here we are and I'm gonna be honest here--more cancellations are definitely on the way. I can see that on the horizon with my eyes closed and my ears stuffed with cotton. Gone are the days where generations bonded over their favorite soaps. Gone are the days where daughters ran home from school to catch the last bit of their soap opera, and gone are the days where you could hear it on radio and see it plastered all over the grocery store newsstands. Thing is, soaps are a thing of yesterday now. I hate it because my soaps are a major part of my television viewing today----tv today kind of disgusts me in a way. So these soaps, these neverending tales of love and betrayal and respect and life and death, steamy love scenes and heartbreaking losses, have a huge place in my heart. They're around for so long, you feel like they're part of your family. They're in your living room every day, growing up with you, making mistakes just like you and then bam! they're gone. It really is like losing a relative or friend and never seeing them again. It hurts deeply to know we're losing another good soap to make way for more bad game show remakes, stupid reality television and other useless programming. You can't replace the classics, guys. Stop trying. As The World Turns has been around for another history-making amount of time, 54 years. The stories, the people and the town of Oakdale are permanent staples in my mind as I think of daytime soaps. We'll miss you ATWT. p.s.------SoapNet, now would be the perfect time for you to get rid of that other stupid programming you've got goin on (all the reality shows--just keep Being Erica lol) and put some reruns of GL and ATWT on as well. Hey, wouldn't it be cool to have our own soap radio and start replaying episodes on there too? Just a thought. See ya!

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OLTL Week in Review

First off, big congrats to OLTL and Susan Haskell for taking home the Emmy this past Sunday! A big welcome to Llanview for Saundra Santiago, who debuted as Carlotta on Thursday I believe. In other news, this week was a little boring.

We were able to find out that the mayor is crooked and has a potential druggie for a son, who Cole just happened to sell the drugs to this week. That let the mayor in on Cole's undercover status, thanks to big-mouthed Dorian and Todd, who both did a very wrong thing for what they mistakenly perceived as being for the right reasons. Dorian overheard Starr telling Todd the truth about what Cole was doing, and immediately ran off to tell the mayor. That's one of the reasons I love and hate Dorian at the same time. She can be such a figure of comfort when you need it, then turn right around and screw you over for her own selfish benefit, like when she allowed the mayor to put a picture of Starr and Hope in the newspaper for Lowell's campaign. Just the day before, she was all 'motherly advice' on Blair, telling her to be a mother and do what's really right for her children, and not even 48 hours later she was exploiting Blair's daughter and grand-daughter for her campaigning efforts. And now, she has just had a hand in endangering the two people she claimed to be protecting.

I think Shaun knows that something is missing between him and Rachel in their relationship, and I think Rachel owes it to herself and to Shaun to be honest with herself and tell him. Since he's waxing poetic and I read spoilers, Shaun may be meeting his maker in the months to come, which is probably going to prompt Rachel's guilt over not treating him right and leave her on the brink of relapse, which Mr. Hotshot Doctor Man Greg will 'miraculously' pull her from. I certainly hope that's not the scenario, but the writers are beginning to paint it that way. I guess we'll see what happens though. As for Rachel and Greg, he seems to be very intent on getting to know Rachel underneath all of the criticisms and zingers she tosses out at everyone. He knows she's fiery and has alot of passion, but somewhere along the way, bottled that all up and instead went for a safe existence: a safe job, a safe relationship, keeping a safe distance from anything that may test her. I don't know how Greg suddenly has all this insight into who Rachel is, but I do think he's right in his assumptions about her. On Friday, we got to see one of the reasons why Rachel decided to leave her true self somewhere beneath the fronts she shows everyone else; she once took someone's life and despite now living clean and sober, I don't think she's found it in her to forgive herself. I didn't like that she took the stand and immediately tried to turn the situation around and say that Greg's entire testimony was about her. So what, all of Greg's prior experience means nothing now because his whole life revolves around her? Whatever, Rach. Just because Greg happened to be spot-on describing you when he was talking about his opinion on why Bo and Nora won't agree to the surgery has nothing to do with it. If the shoe fits, right? She always takes offense to his remarks because I think she knows, somewhere inside of her, that he is right and doesn't like the fact that someone was able to figure her out so easily. At least she admitted it on Friday.

I see some sparks between Ross and Blair, and I think she sees it too, but for obvious reasons she's feeling a little conflicted. He's Tea's not-so-ex husband, and he did once try to kidnap Blair's kids. They're in cramped quarters with no place to go, and if they're both being honest with themselves, still feeling jilted over Todd and Tea being with each other instead of with Blair and Ross, respectively. That almost always in the soap world pushes two people together. But some plotting is on the horizon between these two....and despite the conditions they are acquainted under--this is soap world, anything can happen and besides that, what are Blair's other options, really--I wouldn't mind seeing Blair sniff after someone new whose last name doesn't start with an M.

I gotta say, major kudos to Cris and Layla for being so supportive of Fish. I am enjoying how all three actors have handled this story; at first I wasn't so interested in the Layla-Cris thing because it seemed forced, but slowing it down, removing the unnecessary criticisms and constant mentions of Evangeline and letting them slowly build what appears to be a budding friendship seems to be working better for the characters and the actors playing them. It took a great deal of maturity on Layla's part to avoid getting narcissistic and feeling Fish's being gay had something to do with her and support his heart's decision despite the breaking of her own, and it took a good deal of discretion and loyalty on Cris's part for him not to rub it in Layla's face, let her find out the truth on her own, and not shun Fish when it turned out that his suspicions about Fish were in fact reality.

The trial over Matthew's surgery is starting to take a toll on Matthew and on Friday, tensions finally came to a head. The truth about Rachel's past was revealed, which Matthew didn't like, and the stress of taking his parents to court and trying to maintain a relationship with them despite his resentment and the trial is starting to visibly shake him. Being paralyzed is Matthew's equivalent of hell on earth, which is why he allowed Destiny to convince him to sue his parents, but no matter how angry or resentful he was about it, he has always maintained that he didn't want to hurt them. Now that he sees that he is, and after the ruthless way Tea went after Rachel on Friday, it leaves me to wonder what he's going to do on Tuesday--is he going to regret his decision to fire Tea and decide to stay in the chair to save his relationship with his family? I don't think he saw the trial getting this heated or taking this long, and now that its at a point that he didn't anticipate and therefore cannot control, the need to make things right must be eating at him. Question is, will that need make him sacrifice his desire to walk again?

Suds Up!!
Cris and Layla being supportive of Fish's decision to come out
Todd wearing clothes.....heavens he looks good in them :)
Not seeing alot of Gigi, Rex or Stacy....I love Gigi but I gotta say, I'm glad I didn't see her alot this week
Shaun's conversation with Starr...it was a nice change and I liked seeing Starr being on the giving end of the advice and not talking to just Langston for once
Seeing some sexy Lovett on Friday..its about damn time!
Rachel's meltdown--I was glad to see her being real for once about herself and why she is the way she is today

Popped Bubbles
Todd not listening to Starr's warnings and ratting out Cole, thus putting himself, Starr and Hope in danger
Not seeing alot of David and his 'show'.....I needed my Vick fix this week and didn't get it
Not enough Brody...stop making me wait for days!!
Todd being such a pain in the ass and allowing his dislike for John to overshadow the second warning someone tried to give him

Randomisms:
1)I love my Charlie and Viki! Get more of them on my screen immediately!! 2)Loved the scene with Carlotta where she misread the signals, said she saw the 'signs' and assumed that he was gay! Layla giggling behind him was priceless. 3)Tea is a ruthless bitch. She battered Rachel on the stand without batting an eyelash. Love her! 4)The mayor's an undercover chicken! He's been so frazzled by this re-election campaign; Dorian's doing all his work while he presents a smooth image and takes all the credit. Wonder how true that is for real politicians. 5)I also wonder how real politicians feel about the fact that in movies, on tv or in books most politicians, government officials and authority figures in general are played as being dirty. 6)Does Kassie DePaiva have a sick body or what? I was drinking some serious Haterade when she came out in that bikini this week--alot of chicks my age don't have bodies like that! 7)I read in some spoilers that Marcie will be coming back to Llanview in the upcoming months. Will Kathy Brier be returning to the show, or will Marcie coming back to town with a new look? 8)You do realize that Todd endangering Starr and Hope by not listening to her and going to Lowell is going to start another 'Look what my dad has done to us' jag for her and Cole when all this is over, right?

Moment of the Week: When Nora slapped the hell out of Tea after everything blew up

Character of the Week: (CoW) ---------I don't think there was one this week; nobody stood out in my opinion. Let's try again next week, shall we?

See you back in Llanview on Tuesday!

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GH Week in Review--8/24/09

This week was pretty diverse in who it featured, which is a nice change from the Sonny and Claudia show. Sonny told Claudia that he wanted to stay married, which is still a mystery to me. We all know Sonny has feelings for Olivia, not Claudia. I think on some level Sonny feels something towards Claudia, we've seen that since she came into town. But whether or not all of those feelings are sexually related remains to be seen. They have brief moments where they can sit and talk like two adults, and I like them together. I don't want a repeat of Sonny and Carly, and for some reason, I'd rather see Sonny with Kate than Olivia. Sonny and Claudia understand each other quite well, seem resigned to the fact that this is their life whether they had a choice in the matter or not, and neither of them are too high on love and what it brings. Sonny seems to think he deserves Claudia, and I think Claudia is either in love already or fighting it like hell. If only Michael's shooting wasn't always lingering in the not too far distance, huh? I don't see Sonny and Claudia having this deep love connection right away, but Claudia asked Sonny if he could respect her more.

That reminded me from this line I heard in one of my favorite movies, The Wedding Planner. When Mary (Jennifer Lopez) was talking to her father about marrying Massimo (Justin Chambers), she said that she wanted a marriage like her parents. Her father told her that unbeknowst to her, their marriage was arranged and at first they couldn't stand each other. He was in love with another woman, and she simply didn't like him. Well, the father came down with scarlet fever and was on the brink of death. The mother didn't leave his side until he got better, and that's where my line comes in. He said, "I was very grateful to her, and I grew to respect her. Respect grew to like. And like grew to love. A deeper love than I have ever known." Of course that can't happen here just yet, not with Claudia being responsible for the shooting. But I could see Claudia and Sonny being a dark supercouple someday...I hope. She gets him in a way that no other woman probably ever will, and she makes the best out of it. He understands why she is the way she is and doesn't expect her to be a fragile little egg afraid of anything that goes on in his life. He doesn't have to keep a part of himself away from her because without a doubt, she can handle it. She's someone you'd want next to you in battle, provided you haven't doublecrossed her at one time or another. Claudia is a stand up woman in the sense that she'll stand right there beside you and fight til the end. Sonny needs that. Claudia can be just as cold-blooded as Sonny, but she has a vulnerability that she's more prone to showing, which can leave viewers like me on the fence on how we feel about her. I love her and hate her at the same time. With her finding out that Kristina, not Michael, is responsible for her accident, I sense that I'll be hating her for some time, but there are times where I love Mrs. Zacchara. Speaking of her, it looks like the writers have dropped where Michael starts to remember things from the coma. I wish they'd pick it back up, it would be really interesting if Michael somehow stumbled across the fact that his 'awesome' stepmom almost killed him a year and a half ago, and then find out that she is the reason why Jerry Jacks found them in Mexico a few weeks ago. After all this time and all the shenanigans she pulled to hide it, I think it would be anti-climatic if Claudia just came out and admitted what she's done.

Although I am a Liason fan for life, I can't deny that Sam and Jason definitely still have something going. Underneath all of the things they've done to each other, there is still something there between them and they finally hit the sheets this week. I'm wondering how the hell did Jason have sex on his mind with a bullet in his arm. If I got shot, no matter what guy was in the room, I wouldn't do it.....I'm totally lying. I'd do it anyway. I chose Sam for Monday's LOD because even though they were talking about a car, I think it fit their relationship as well. Sam never being able to have a child, Jason being in love with Elizabeth, Sam being responsible for Jake's kidnapping a couple of years ago--huge issues. But with time, it could work. They still have love for each other, despite it all. It could work. Sam is strong where Liz is fragile, and Liz can't handle Jason's life the way Sam can. I hate it, but Liz isn't exactly a firecracker. She needs some fire under her ass.

Speaking of Liz, while Lucky thinks they're going to reconnect, she's too busy thinking about his brother. Nik and Liz could have something going too, but Liz doesn't want to hurt Lucky and besides that, Nik's too busy going what everyone calls 'Full Out Cassadine' on her. I wasn't watching when Cassadines were a prominent part of Port Charles, but from what I read on soap boards and the bit I've heard from the characters, the Cassadines didn't play around, Cassadine men were hell if they were scorned and Nikolas up until this point had been successful in being the exact opposite. He could embrace the side he got from Laura and turn off the Cassadine side at will, but it seems he's again done the exact opposite in his vow to make Rebecca pay. He's never going to be that way with Elizabeth, but how will he balance his obvious feelings for her against his scorned pride from Rebecca? Nik can be two split personalities at the same time and I have to admit, it's kinda cool. Of course, he's not going to tell Liz what he's doing, but she's not stupid. I think she'll catch on soon enough. How effortlessly the shoe switches. At first, Nik was openly vulnerable but Rebecca was completely closed off, putting on a mask. And now, she is openly vulnerable and Nik is completely closed off. I wonder if eventually his feelings will come back or re-emerge as he gets deeper into all of this. He can hardly keep the disgust and anger off his face; I'm not sure how Rebecca doesn't see it. He just has this calculating aura about him and a double meaning to everything he says. I can see it, why can't Rebecca?

In smaller stories of the week, I am not on board with this Inspector Robin thing that she's got going on with Andrea Floyd. Just not interested. There's nothing more to say about it. I wonder where the writers are going to take Lulu and Dante/Dominic. Talk about conflict of interest from hell once everything is out in the open. He's pretending to be a gangster so he can take down Lulu's good friend Sonny, but the reality of it is that he's really Sonny's long lost son from Sonny's relationship with Olivia, who just happens to be her ex-boyfriend Johnny's girlfriend. I think despite Carly's better judgment, she likes Dominic. She doesn't want Morgan around him in an effort to make sure he doesn't follow in his 'footsteps,' but I think she likes him a bit more than she's comfortable to admit. I didn't see much of Maxie or Spinelli this week, and I was grateful. Not interested in Kate's story either. I'm glad Johnny put an end to trying to convince Claudia to leave Sonny. I understand his frustrations with always telling her the same thing, but I was getting pretty frustrated too. The conversation has been stale, redundant and almost verbatim for months. I'm glad he put a stop to it. Claudia has no interest in leaving Sonny and the sooner Johnny realizes that and backs off, the better....I guess.

Monday's LOD: "It's got a couple of big issues.....but it'll work." --Sam, to Jason
Tuesday's LOD: "If we're not careful, we might start understanding each other." --Sonny, to Claudia
Wednesday's LOD: "Oh, so is 'what happened' the new euphemism for our kiss?" --Nikolas, to Elizabeth
Thursday's LOD: "What's wrong with physical love?" --Maxie, to Spinelli
Friday's LOD: "I'm a professional criminal. If I can't cover my crimes, I'm out of a job." --Sonny, to Alexis

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OLTL Week in Review--week of 8/24/09

This week of OLTL actually wasn't that bad. We found out during the Friday cliffhanger that the elusive Ross Rayburn is living under an assumed name (and not too creative either) of Ross Raymond in Tahiti and is Tea's partner in crime in a whole new way---he's actually her husband. I was reading the weekly Two Scoops over on Soapcentral.com and the author of this week's column mentioned that she liked the way it played out; Ross getting closer to revealing his marriage to Tea at the very same time that Todd was putting it all on the line and proposing to Tea. I have to admit, I liked it too. I like when the writers further intertwine the story and drive the points home when they are told separately within the same scene like that. The more I saw of it, the more I realized that it's been the elephant in the room for awhile. Somehow, I suspect that Tea's marriage to Rayburn isn't her only secret. She seemed too scared of Elijah revealing this to anyone, and I don't see Tea getting spooked over Llanview finding out that she is already married, and not to Todd. If anything, the admission may win her some friends that didn't understand her unashamed propping and championing for Todd. Say what you will about him, but he's been pretty mature about admitting that he's caused alot of people pain. He makes no apologies or excuses for what he did to Marty the second time; he knew it was wrong, has made peace with her animosities towards him, and wants to move past it. Alot of people say that the character of Marty shouldn't let her rape and then kidnapping by Todd the catalyst of what she is about; in my opinion the same could be said for Todd's character. He can't stay in the hole that he created by being a rapist; it goes nowhere. In real life of course, rapists often are not brought into such close contact on a regular basis with their victims, but at the same time not all of them never see their rapist again. I wasn't a big fan of Marty and Todd's time together, but he seemed to have some realizations about his relationship with Tea and raced home to tell her, only to find Teabag packed and ready to jet. Literally. Todd is well aware that he can't change his past, and he is no longer trying to; he is trying to move on with the woman he 'loves,' as much as Todd can really love anyone. I gotta give it to him though, I think he really does feel something similar to love for Tea; he doesn't let his guard down often but he was pretty raw this week.

We saw Langston fighting her attraction to the producer of David's 'show,' which of course had Markko jealous, and with reason. For two years, she's been his freak, no wandering of the eye, no secret attraction to another guy, nothing. And with Lola's pursuit of Markko and her sabotage behind them, Markko is no doubt feeling a bit jealous and threatened by watching his girlfriend with the hot shirtless producer. I felt a little bad when Markko recreated the same thing that Ford had done earlier in the day; when I saw Ford's body I saw a man--a well-cut, rock solid man. But with Markko, I just saw someone who hadn't grown into his body entirely yet. I saw a boy...think about Twilight's Jacob Black before all the muscles and the haircut. I love me some Mr. Rivera, but I'm sorry. There was no comparison there. I just hope this attraction between Lang and Ford isn't allowed to go anywhere--Langston and Markko seem to have one of the strongest, most stable relationships on the show. There's no secrets, cheating or betrayal between them, and its obvious that they're willing to fight it out for each other. Don't let that be ruined by some fast talking, hot as hell reality show producer. That leftover tension by Lang lead to a roll in the hay (literally) and the introduction of a new part of this column I'm calling 'Overblown Bubble'(the name is subject to change; I'm just playing with the name until I find something that fits). This refers to an overused word or phrase that day, or that week. Soap writers are infamous, especially when proving a point or really driving a plot home, of using the same word or phrase and finding a way of working it into almost every conversation. For example, on Thursday, the Overblown Bubble was 'Muy caliente.' I think Markko and Langston said that at least 6 or 7 times. The first and second time I heard it, I thought it was a touch of Spanglish that I could admire; I dabble in it a bit myself. lol But after the fourth time, I was more than a little irritated. So that is where 'Overblown Bubble' originates. Send me your Overblown Bubble thoughts!

In a brief moment of humility on Stacy's part, she finally broke down this week and admitted to Kim that she was tired of lying, and headed over to Rex and Gigi's to tell them the truth. And silly me, I thought the writers were gonna let her go through with it. Silly soap viewer, truth is for dorks!! Kim 'saved the day' by not letting Stacy tell the truth, which lead to her running into a depressed Fish at Rodi's. After some 'grief sex,' Stacy is holding out hope that Fish's little swimmers hit the mark and she can pass this baby off as Rex's. It is amazing to me how narrow-minded and remorseless she is. I can't say I was touched by her little breakdown as I still hate her guts, but it did deceive me for a moment into thinking that she wanted to live her life lie-free and was ready to be honest. There's not much for me to say about this story; I hate it, I think the writers have dragged it on for long enough, and it needs to stop. That's all.

Blair headed off to Tahiti in the unnecessary scenes of the week, to get her dirt on 'that bitch Tea Delgado.' Another overblown bubble. In Tuesday's episode alone, I heard that 8 times before I stopped counting. I think Blair knows that Dorian and Rex are right and she's just using this as an excuse to break Tea and Todd up. TNT is perfectly capable of self-destructing, there's no needed assistance from Blair. Whatever secret Tea is hiding is obviously capable of doing that all by itself. I read in the spoilers that Ross and Blair are going to continue plotting against Tea in the weeks to come---could this lead to a love connection between the two schemers? It's obvious that Tea and Ross didn't marry for love, so she must have been strong-armed into marrying him so that he'd keep the bigger secret to himself, and now that she's trying to start anew with Todd, that secret is going to continue to get larger and larger. I really hope that someday, Blair's life doesn't revolve around anything Todd or Tea related, and that she can find a man who not only loves her despite her faults, but isn't with her to help her stick it to Todd. It's old. It's not high school anymore, Ms. Cramer. Get a life.

Well, the GH marathon is on and I've barely spoken about this soap, so I'll close this one early so that I can review GH. I'll also be doing full coverage and updates on the Daytime Emmy's tonight, so keep a look out! I also have a few new things to introduce in the column, which I will be doing hopefully after the Emmy hulabaloo is over, after the AMC marathon. Don't forget to catch the Emmy's, they'll be on the CW network around 6 or 7 tonight, and I believe SoapNet is doing the preshow this year. Full coverage here tonight!

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Won't You Take Me Down.......to Delusion Town

Yes, ripped from another song. Nope..still not apologizing.

Today's epi was all about crazy women and their delusions. Teabag's delusional simply for thinking that Todd is capable of love in any capacity, with anyone, Blair is delusional for thinking that messing up Todd and Tea's relationship will send him flying back to her, and Stacy's delusional for....need I say more?

Teabag's trying to hit up Tahiti, which happens to be the same place Blair is headed. Too bad Todd interfered in Tea's efforts, Blair and Teabag coulda met up, strapped on their floral sarongs, sipped some mimosas by the beach and discussed their crazy obsession with the fair-haired rapist. It's funny how off and on Tea's emotions are, which just enhances how undercover crazy she is.

In other crazy news, Blair's abandoning her children all for the sake of trying to ruin Todd's relationship with Tea. She says she's doing it to protect them, but that's where her delusions come into play--it's not about the kids at all. She definitely wants to stick it to Tea, but that is partially because Tea admitted she loved Todd and ended up getting the guy, while she got ridiculed for admitting the same thing. She doesn't need to protect them from Tea and she knows it. The kids have no problem for the most part with Tea. And now she's leaving the country to find some guy whose got dirt on Tea??? Seriously, there's no need to go that far. She needs to stop being petty, stop using her children as a cover-up for her own childish motives and grow up. Listen to your aunt, Blair---get your own life and actually be a mom to those kids. With Shaun having one of those things they call a life now, he's not watching the kids, Dorian's got her own job to worry about, Starr's almost grown has her own life to worry about anyway---who's watching your children while you're jet-setting for some dirt?

Across town, Butterfly 7 was starting to have its effect on Sky, who thankfully regained his wits and tossed Stacy out on her pole-grinding ass. This further proves that he's a smarter man than Rex. lol I'm glad the writers didn't allow Stacy to let this scheme come through; its about time the dumber Morasco got hers. It's so irritating that she continues to use the only guy who's been on her side from the beginning, even though he knows exactly who she really is. It further shows that Stacy has no morals or conscience and is too far gone to even understand just how wrong she's being to Sky. Poor Stacy, she's got Blair syndrome. She wants Rex, but she comes in second to Gigi. She drugged Sky and he still didn't want her, she is STILL second...to Gigi. Just like Blair is to Marty with Todd and John.

I think Rex is running from his argument with Gigi, mainly because he knew he was wrong and she called him on it. I think he's tired of being wrong, but he's not ready to change his behavior. I agree that Gigi asking Stacy to have an abortion was pretty rotten, but now Rex is using that to turn the tables and shape her out to be the bad one; I think to take some of the heat off himself. Rex's motives for asking Sky to leave are purely selfish, just like Gigi's motives were purely selfish. How funny that Rex wanted to run away from the argument and left Gigi to argue alone, but he wouldn't let her do the same. It resulted in some pretty hot angry sex though. That's always a positive, right? Well, sorta. We'll see how long the orgasmic euphoria lasts before they're back to fighting again.


LOD
"It's not like I went over there and told him to get an abortion." --Rex, to Gigi
"You were never really number 1.....it was druuuugs. Boop!" --Schuyler, to Stacy
"I don't do gossip." --John, to Fish
"One session and you're a changed man." --Tea, to Todd

Randoms:
1)Remember last week when Stacy said she thought Kyle was an ass man, then the scene cut to Fish and Kyle in the gym? Was that a SERIOUS tongue-in-cheek comment by the writers or what? 2)It was relieving to see Dorian actually being the voice of reason for once. 3)I missed my Vickers fix today. Where is he? 4)What a way for Layla to get the drop on her 'keeper' of a man, huh? 5) Where was Jessica, did she run after 'Nash' into the woods to give him back the elephant and tell him to stop traumatizing Bree?

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Blown Covers--AMC 8/25/09

I guess it's safe to say Amanda blew her own whistle on Operation Baby Drop. The bewilderment in David's eyes as he realized this wasn't a random outburst from a grieving mother was a classic David reaction, and from the spoilers, he's about to let Liza have it as his own suspicions finally bubble over the surface.

I still don't like Marissa. I just can't catch on to her. She keeps asking people to give David the benefit of the doubt. JR of all people is not going to be making any niceties towards David, and Marissa shouldn't expect him to. She shouldn't be expecting JR to give David anything except the finger. I think he needed the hug from Marissa though; he wasn't expecting it. Jake and Amanda are still blaming David for everything, and although I think he deserves a good portion, let's remember the fact that Amanda had sex with David willingly. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to have sex. She deserves some of the blame she brought on herself as well.

I almost believed Annie's testimony....almost....until she started talking about Adam. She is manipulating Adam and I'm pretty sad he can't see that. It's like he's fighting past his prime and the last two women in his life (Annie and Krystal) are making him look like a fool for having faith in them. Adam's a sharp man normally, which is why I no longer understand that not only did he let his guard down so far for someone that he previously wanted nothing to do with because she was crazy, but that he's on her bandwagon so much. I'm no longer a big Ryan fan but I was on his side during his testimony to the judge. Too bad that Adam's got the judge in his pocket. Ryan's testimony got the most genuine reaction I've seen from Annie in months. I am an Annie fan and I hope she recovers, but I do not think she should be allowed around Emma. I don't think she's stable enough and like it or not, her secrets and manipulation have traumatized her daughter, who just wanted her mother around. I think she's still a danger to Emma and shouldn't be given visitation rights just yet. Adam doesn't realize it but paying off that doc is going to bite him in the ass later. Annie still needs help and evading some kind of prison time or psychological evaluations is only going to hinder her recovery; I see her falling off the deep end again sometime. I hope not, but if she gets no help and she's still manipulating everyone, it's only a matter of time. Her threatening phone call to Ryan after the verdict was passed down not only contradicted everything she said to him in there, it showed me that maybe she's not so stable after all. She's just gotten excellent at hiding it.

Liza told Tad about her feelings for Zach, and apparently she's got it bad for the guy. I think Zach's denying it...but I think he's got a little thing for her too. He was pretty eager to find out her name after the hot sex on the gaming table, and all of a sudden he's cold on her. I don't think so. It's making Kendall squirm though; we all know she's insanely jealous. Zach still very much wants to be with Kendall, but not only is his attraction to Legal Beagle Liza getting in the way, he can't bring himself to forgive her. Seems that Zendall is at a maybe permanent impasse. Kendall clobbering Liza at the end of the episode was priceless though. When I saw on the spoilers on SoapNet that Kendall was going to get violent, I was wondering WTF? I thought maybe she would slap Zach once he told her, or just that she'd get violent with him. I had no idea she was going to take it out on Liza. Hilarity. It just took Kendall's jealous meter from 10 to 100, normal to legendary, in 4 seconds. lol One, how did she know Liza was going to be kissing Zach? Second, how did she know when they'd be kissing, or was she planning on revealing herself to Liza anyway? Third, how the hell did she get downstairs and go outside and all the way around the house to clobber Liza? Fourth, if Liza and Zach hadn't been kissing how would she explain herself? "Oh, the prison's right down the street; I found this nightgown in a ditch during the chain gang clean-up this morning and decided to come down for a little visit." LOL @ Kendall. Just LOL.

LOD
"What's so 'there he is' about Zach? Twenty-four hour brooding?" --Tad, to Liza

"Don't hold back, it's open season. Take your shots while you can." --David, to Marissa

Randoms:
1)Marissa's shaping up to be a daddy's girl. I don't like her, but I can get used to David having a stable relationship with someone he doesn't have to manipulate. 2)I'm tired of Marissa saying 'I'm not Babe,' like its something bad. Get over yourself, chick. You're right. You're not Babe. 3)Yes, I'm a Babe groupie. So sue me. 4)From the spoilers, JR is in for a huge health crisis. I hope Marissa will be there for him; he's gonna need it. 5)Still wondering how the writers are going to write out Chrishell Stause's exit story. 6)Kendall being so quick to clobber Liza has me second-thinking that 'killer' tag that Zach has yet to put on her. Hmm......

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