RRNT Summer Series

Hi! Did you miss RRNT's summer series of posts? You probably did, because I'm an idiot and didn't post the shit on schedule or properly promote it once it was published. lol I put together 5 posts this year, but I also wanted to include a few of the other posts I've done in summers past.

• Hello, Summer. --this year's seasonal inspiration

• What's On My Reading List 2017 --10 books I'd like to read this summer

• RRNT Summer Lookbook --8 summery looks based off of different fashion trends I mentioned during the inspiration post

• Throwback Summer Soundtrack --a playlist of songs from different summers in my life

• Summer Bucket List --11 things I'd like to accomplish this summer

Here are some of my previous summer posts:

• Summer Inspiration (2015) --should really be titled "Summer Essentials" as it's about the beauty and skincare products I prefer to use during this time of year

• I WANNA DO ALL THE SUMMERY THINGS AT ONCE! --Summer 2015 bucket list

• Summer 2016 Bucket List --a (much) condensed version of the above list for 2016

• Summertime Vibes --2016 summer inspiration

I'm really proud of these posts, as dumb as it sounds, so I really hope you all enjoy them. The bottom four posts are from when I was first starting to get into seasonal posts, so take it easy on me if they look a little low-rate. For that matter, the top ones probably do too (I use apps and GIMP lol) so still, take it easy. Anyway, even though I'm in love with a couple of these posts I still have to apologize; as is custom with my posts they're rather long but the Throwback Summer Soundtrack is especially lengthy. You'll see why when you check it out. I hope the takeaway makes the length worth it. But again, I sincerely hope you enjoy the RRNT Summer Series and I'll see you soon!

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What's On My Reading List--Summer 2017

Hi! If it's not obvious yet, I'm doing a bit of a summer series, where I tried to bring the season's vibes into each of the blog categories I have here. Today we're doing books, so I thought I'd share with you a few of the books I'd like to get to this summer. This is probably the most obvious time for me to catch up on my Reading Challenge and I fully intend to feature some books that fulfill some of my entries, but I also want to read some of these purely for enjoyment, not to fulfill a challenge. I love my smut, probably always will, but I'd like to expand my horizons a bit this summer and read different kinds of books. Here are some that I've recently downloaded and hoping to read this summer:

Influence--Chris Parker

I've actually started reading this book already but found another book in my Kindle carousel that I wanted to read more, so I put it away. lol Influence is a murder thriller about a man who has most, if not all, of the answers. As a public figure, he helps other people unlock the gift to having the answers and welcoming prosperity into their lives. But when people begin to die and the finger of blame lands on him, he realizes that he doesn't have all the answers after all--namely, who's framing him for the murders. lol 

Limelight--Emily Organ 

This is part of a series (as many books these days seem to be) but I believe each entry can also be read as a standalone, which I like. Limelight is a period murder novel set in London in the late 1800s and is about an actress who is found drowned in a river. The extra rub here is that the same actress was reported as having been murdered some five years prior to her drowning. As her friend works with Scotland Yard to uncover the secrets of her friend's death, she learns much more than she bargained for about the person her friend was and why she made the choices she made. 

Souls: Seeing Others Under the Light of the Son--Tyro Fledgling

I found this and a few of the other books on today's list from Smashwords, which is another site I find books and work with authors on. The synopsis was what drew me in. This book focuses on the question "How would you see a person if the physical traits that make you love, despise or take interest in a person were stripped away?" That kind of question can go so many ways and I'm really interested to see how this book answers that inquiry. It says it's a spiritual devotional book, so I'm guessing it's probably about how to look past someone's exterior in order to find the love you want. We'll see.



The Microwave Torture of Ed Snowden and Julian Assange--Richard Lighthouse

I've said this before, but I love me a good conspiracy theory. The microwave torture theory is one I've heard before, but never bothered to explore because it sounded kooky to me. But the conspiracy theorist in my brain always says, "That's what they want you to think so you'll disregard it," so here I am. lol This book explores the research into the theory of Snowden and Assange being targets of a microwave CIA program and even as it sounds quite off, I'd like to see the research put forth on the subject.



The Traveling Man--Michael P. King

I found this book a couple of weeks ago and the summary sounded interesting, so I'd like to get around to reading it soon. This book is about a con artist named Mike who, along with his wife Patty and their partner Buddy, plan to rake in the dough by creating false documents and selling a piece of land, based off of those falsified documents, to a local gangster. At some point, Buddy flips on them and ends up being part of the team trying to hunt Mike and Patty down, so Mike has to work harder in order to keep Patty safe and get to the bottom of everything. In wrestling mark speak that would technically be considered a 'double turn,' even though initially there are no good guys in this crew. They're con artists trying to screw someone out of their money. But Buddy turns on Mike and Patty, putting himself in the villain spot and making the latter two sympathetic characters, so while they still technically aren't the 'good guys,' they've effectively become better than Buddy, so it would be a double turn. I'm here for it.



How to Defeat Procrastination--Mugilan Parimalam

I didn't get much of a synopsis for this book as the title pretty much told it all, but in case it hasn't become blindingly apparent by now, I have an issue with punctuality. The larger issue at hand here in many cases is procrastination. When I feel overwhelmed by something, have a post concept or idea but no structure in mind, or when I'm tired of doing the headless chicken dance (that's mainly for more complicated posts, like my Inspiration series), I procrastinate. This often throws me off my schedule, makes things insanely late, and stresses me out beyond words. My life has gotten busier even as it somehow remains stagnant, so I really need to figure out how to stop procrastinating and build up the energy to do what needs to get done. On time. I'm hoping to pick up some tips from this book that I can actually utilize because I've read quite a few books and articles on how to stop procrastinating, but none of them seem to stick.



Handbook to Success and Personal Growth--Simon Roche

I guess this goes hand-in-hand with the previous book in terms of attempted self-improvement. I just need some tips on how to cultivate lasting personal growth in myself. Usually when I discover that I've grown, it's by accident and not something I intended to change at that time. There are a few areas of my life that could use a little TLC, so I'd like to see what this author recommends in the way of cultivating success and personal growth. In short, I need help and lots of it. I need help from the heavens and from life. lol



The Butchered Man--Harriet Smart

This book is actually the first in a series about two Victorian police detectives in Northminster. Hopefully this won't end on a cliffhanger and I can treat it as a standalone. In The Butchered Man, detectives Vernon and Felix have to investigate the events surrounding a mutilated corpse being dumped in a ditch, but the different trails that it leads them on bring them in conflict with each other and threatens their case.


The School of the Seers--Jonathan Welton 

✋Hol' on, hol' on. Hold your tomatoes and judgment and I'll explain. 

Okay. Although these days my faith falls more in line with non-denominational Christian toeing the line of agnostic, I still like spiritually based books like this. I know for a lot of you, especially in today's culture where over half of the people I meet or follow online are agnostic or atheistic, this book sounds a little 'woo woo' to bother with and I don't blame you. It sounds a little more 'woo woo' to me now than it did years ago when I found this book at a thrift sale. I'd mainly like to read this out of curiosity; what made me gravitate toward this years ago? Why did I not see it as suspect as I do now? More importantly, can I gain anything from it with my viewpoint on religion having wavered the way it has? 

A Quiet Coup--Rob Lubitz

Small confession: I've actually already read this book and a review is on the way, but I just wanted to promote this book and its author. A few years ago, I reviewed a book called Beyond Top Secret, and it was by far one of my favorite books of the year. It's probably on my list of Top 100 books, it was that good for me. It was a political thriller based off corruption at all government levels, murder, and desperate cover-up attempts that ultimately failed in some ways, while they succeeded in others. Rob recently published A Quiet Coup, which is the conclusion of the series (it was a trilogy), and was nice enough to contact me and ask if I'd like to read and review a copy. This, too, is a political thriller that involves all levels of government, a few randoms who get caught in the middle, and a bloodhound reporter who doesn't know when to let something go. But underneath all of the secrets, lies and blood in this series lies a love story. That was touched on in Beyond Top Secret but was explored a bit more in-depth in A Quiet Coup. I really enjoyed the book and a review will be up soon, but if you want an actual summary, go check out the book's Amazon page.

I wanted to add more, but keeping it at 10 9 is ambitious enough for me these days; I have quite a bit going on right now, one of the more stressful of those things being my need to have my laptop repaired. I just bought it 8 months ago, am actually still paying for the damn thing, and on Saturday my screen completely went out and now I have to send it back to ASUS for repairs. Summer Under the Stars is starting over on ATV on August 1st, which means I have 31 posts to prep from jump. I'm also trying to finish up the remaining posts for summer I wanted to put out here, so in total we're talking nearly 40 posts in a matter of days. And that's just the tip of the iceberg; I have so many irons in the fire I can't keep up with them all.

The rest of my life has been about as pleasurable as a mosquito bite on the vag and as stressful as trying to figure out how to treat the vag bite without rubbing alcohol on it. lol So I think keeping it to 10 things is the safest option for me right now. It'd be lovely if I could read more than that, though. Since I won't have my laptop for a couple of weeks, I may have no choice but to read more than 10. lol If you'd like me to do an update post at the end of the summer on these books or you'd like to see an individual review of any of them, let me know. What are you planning to read this summer? See you soon!

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What I've Been Watching: June

Hi! It's the end of the month, so its time for another WIBW. Like I've said for a couple of these now, I didn't watch too many new things this month. It's funny, I did away with Monthly Favorites partly to introduce this series because I was watching more new things than I was trying new things, but once I start WIBW, I stop watching Netflix. I'm sorry, y'all know I ain't shit. LOL I have a couple of goodies from both the Netflix and YouTube sections, but overall it was a rather quiet month. Let's get into what I've been watching.

Agatha Christie's Poirot

After Porn Ends 2

The Ranch

I Am Jane Doe

This isn't the first time you've seen Poirot on my tv lists nor will it be the last, but it hasn't been on here in awhile so I wanted to feature it again. I've watched the entire series more than 5 times, but I haven't been watching Netflix as much as I used to. I went back at the beginning of the month because I saw the trailer for the upcoming remake of Murder on the Orient Express and the minute I saw the new Poirot, I was triggered. I'm protective over my Belgian detective, aight? I was severely triggered. So to calm myself down (LOL) I went and watched the show but when I logged into Netflix, I got triggered again when I found out they took most of the damn series off the site! There are 13 series (seasons) of the show and I think Netflix removed 7 of them. I read the monthly articles to see what's coming and going from Netflix and I didn't see it anywhere on those lists, so idk. After the triggeration went down, I got back to my show. I'm still salty about it but at least they left me 5 series. For now. 

I watched the first After Porn Ends a couple of years ago, which followed Mary Carey, Randy West, Amber Lynn, Asia Carrera, and Raylene, to name a few, in their lives post-porn retirement. The sequel follows a different bunch of ex-porn stars post-retirement, like Ginger Lynn, Janine Lindemulder, Tabitha Stevens and a couple of throwbacks like Georgina Spelvin and Johnnie Keyes. I think I found the sequel to be a bit more enjoyable than the first, probably because of the cast this time around, but I felt it tried to really explore life after porn in a non-judgmental way. Many of them have found secondary careers, some were smart about their money while they were in porn, but a few of them have fallen on harder times and are struggling. I found the sequel to be a bit more sobering than the first, probably because this cast of former performers was going through slightly heavier shit than the first cast. What I did enjoy was that many of them embraced their past, even if they no longer wanted no part of the industry. I've noticed with many in the entertainment industry, especially models and pornstars, the industry eventually turns them against it and they spend their lives feeling as though there's a dark stain on it due to their pasts. It was nice to see that a few of them were able to get out and make the most of what they had. 

I want to say The Ranch has been on here before, but the 3rd part (the show is split into parts, not seasons) recently premiered on the 'Flix so it's on here again. I won't name any spoilers, but a lot has gone down in three seasons and shit's gotten real, especially for ol' Colt. I have to admit that this part was probably my least favorite of the three, but I did enjoy the early season cameo we got from a familiar face.


I Am Jane Doe is a documentary about American girls who get drawn into the black market child sex trade, partially through using sites like Craigslist and Backpage. Jessica Chastain narrates the stories of several girls who were taken alongside firsthand commentary from the now-women themselves or others connected to the case. I knew this was going to be a heavy watch for me when I first saw it pop up so I held it off for awhile, and it didn't disappoint. There was a bit of ugly crying just at the thought of the terror and depression those girls must have felt, but the sad part of it is that they're the lucky ones, if you can call that luck. Some girls don't get to come back, some girls come back and later kill themselves because they're unable to deal with what happened to them, and others still come home but are unable to ever get their lives back on track. This documentary covers the lawsuit brought forth by the families of a couple of the abducted girls against the owners of Backpage and the ongoing efforts to bring the child sex trade to light.

RT Documentary: The Congo Dandies,
Escobar's Hitman

Barcroft TV: Webcam Girls

Kitchen Nightmares

Hotel Hell

WahlieTV

One of the documentaries I watched that I found both intriguing and immensely wasteful was the RT doc The Congo Dandies. If you're not familiar with the term 'dandy,' it's an old-school term referring to a gentleman who dresses with particular attention to their style, overall look and never goes outside dressed less than their best. There are benefits to running a vintage blog, lol. This is a group of dandies. Anyway, this documentary focused on a group of Congolese dandies, who despite living amongst squalor due to poverty, wear nothing but luxury designer labels. I was equal amounts awed and annoyed throughout this doc but it's something I definitely recommend you watch.


Escobar's Hitman was a RT documentary I was really interested in, mainly because of Narcos. I hate saying that I'm in love with a show that's based off a true story of blood and drugs, but I enjoy it a lot. I think I prefer the show to real life, because at least I know then someone calls 'cut' and nobody was actually hurt. I wish the entire thing was fictional, to be honest. The real life story angers and disgusts me, which is what brings me to this documentary. One of Escobar's right-hand men, Popeye, was released from prison a couple of years ago, and the viewer gets to see how life is for him as a free man. What I liked about the video was that juxtaposed against Popeye's current day activities were a couple of his previous victims sharing their stories: the police officer who became disabled after Popeye bombed an area she was in; a man who'd lost his father to the Avianca plane crash, which you saw play out on Narcos during the 1st season. He may say he's changed his ways, but what I saw was a man completely lacking in remorse and human emotion. He admitted that he has no regrets about anything he'd done (How, Sway?) and that he's paid his debts to society for those deeds (Again--how, Sway? How do you pay for the loss of hundreds, if not thousands, of lives in only 23 years?) so he'd like to move past them. It really bothers me that some people view him as a celebrity, not realizing that he'd take their lives and the lives of their families if this was the '80s and Escobar had ordered him to do so. The rub with shows like Narcos is that it brings the real-life counterparts fame but doesn't discriminate, both the good and bad guys have their moment in the sun and apparently this is Popeye's. He's gotten a book deal, movie/tv deals and started a YT channel because of his fame. What stuck out to me (ya know, other than the glorified killer bit) was that to actually look in his eyes was creepy. His gaze is cold, intense and emotionless--the eyes of a true killer. It's scary. Overall, though, this is a good one to watch. Another rub with shows like Narcos is that it doesn't really show the aftermath of those actions and this doc served as a follow-up of sorts, even if it was just the perspectives of two people. 

I've been watching repeats of Kitchen Nightmares on YT since it was removed from Netflix, but I didn't want to share the channels and end up getting them reported. lol I had never paid attention to Hotel Hell  when I'd see ads on tv for it but when I ran out of Nightmares episodes to watch, I gave Hotel Hell a looksie and loved it. It has a bit of Kitchen Nightmares with a dash of How Clean Is Your House? (I'm aging myself with that reference lol) but the owners are the same as they always were--obstinate, ignorant and completely averse to any kind of criticism. For being such a hothead, Ramsay really has a way with these owners, and in most cases the story ended well.


I don't watch too many couple vlog channels, mainly because to be honest, a lot of YT couples irritate me and I also don't want to get used to them only to have them break up, but despite that WahlieTV is one of my favorite vlog channels to watch. Wah and Weylie are from the Bay area but moved to LA again last year and their vlogs follow them on their foodie adventures, work trips/vacations and everyday life. Ya know, like most vlog channels. lol If I had to choose I'd say I preferred their SF vlogs from a couple years ago when I started watching the channel, but everyone needs some change in their lives so the LA vlogs are growing on me.


I didn't include this documentary on the list above but I still wanted to recommend it because it's worth a watch. Cake Soap: Skin Bleaching in Jamaica is a documentary about the skin bleaching craze in the islands, more so Jamaica, and how it affects the people living there. Although it's not a big thing for average Black people here in the States, it's very on-trend for Jamaica, and this documentary explores the trend's origins and originator, its meaning in Jamaican culture, and we even get to see how DIY skin bleaching creams are made. It low-key triggered me because to me, Black will always be beautiful (but I'm biased lol) and I can't see why someone would intentionally manipulate the color of their beautiful brown skin, but I also can't see why people intentionally manipulate the color of their beautiful porcelain skin just to be darker. In short, I don't get the shit. You're beautiful the way you are, leave your damn skin alone. lol


Pick of the Month: I Am Jane Doe

Throwaway Pick: Agatha Christie's Poirot (but only because I've already featured it)

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Summer Bucket List

Hi! Summer is officially here, so it's time to come up with some new activities to try out. For me, the seasonal bucket lists are fun anyway, but more specifically the summer bucket lists because they're a sign of how far I've come in a couple of years. The first time I put up a bucket list, it was for Summer 2015 and was so long it was laughable to even attempt finishing everything on it. The second time around I'd since learned from my mistakes and tailored the list down, and this year I think I've finally got the hang of it. So what am I looking to get into this summer? Come check out my list!

I hope you can read the font I used but if you can't, let me know and I'll change it. As for the list itself, not too bad, huh, especially in comparison to I WANNA DO ALL THE SUMMERY THINGS AT ONCE. I think I might legit change the title of that post to this one, because it fits a hell of a lot better. Anyway, if you just wanted to see the list then our time together comes to a close here. I hope you enjoyed it and it gave you some inspiration for your own list. If you're interested in my rambling about why I chose each item, then proceed!

Take an IG-worthy summer pic 

If you follow me on Instagram, you know I'm hardly ever on there. The reasons behind that vary, but one of the reasons is because the majority of my life just isn't IG-worthy. I'm also a hermit. I don't intend for that to change much beyond finally improving how I utilize social media for my blogs, but I'd like to get one good IG-worthy picture this summer. If I can get just one photo worthy of the 'Gram aesthetic, I'll be happy. 

Make elotes and/or horchata 

These two are staples of my childhood and the culture I grew up in. Even though I'm Black, I grew up in a Mexican-dominant culture and neighborhood so elotes, horchata and tamarindo are in my blood. Right where they belong. lol During the summer, you can get them from food/ice cream trucks and even a few street vendors, but I'd love to make both of them myself. 

Get a tan tattoo 

This one has been on the past two summer bucket list entries, and I never got around to doing it. I tan pretty easily so I just need to figure out how to get the outline done then go sit outside for a couple of hours. If this entry is on your bucket list as well, don't forget to protect your skin!

Go to a street/farmer's market

I love farmer's markets. I'm not entirely sure why, I just do. Some of the local art/craft festivals have farmer's markets and I just love the whole vibe of them. I also really like the concept of buying locally-made produce. I'm a firm believer in putting back in your local community, so enabling local farmers to continue making a living by consuming their produce sounds like a win-win to me. Jesus H. I sound like a hipster asshole. #locavore LOL just kidding. 

Photograph a sunrise and sunset

I love sunrises and sunsets. I've been meaning to get on my roof and photograph a few of them for awhile but we don't have a ladder so needless to say, I haven't been up there. This is the only time of year that its warm (probably a bit too warm, actually lol) for both occasions, so I want to take advantage. I enlisted my mama and she offered to take me up to the mountain so we can get better pictures rather than trying to kill myself finding a way onto the roof without a ladder,. The only thing she wants in return is for me to make her some coffee. lol It'd be nice to have the company, so I can do that. 

Take Baby somewhere fun 

My oldest niece's nickname is Baby so if I ever mention that name again, she's who I'm referring to. I started calling her that when she was a newborn and it just stuck. Even though she makes a point to remind me that she's a big girl now, she still answers to Baby. You might assume that the joke "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" writes itself here, but it couldn't be further from the truth. This Baby visits the corner regularly because she's a little badass. lol Now that she's old enough to leave without her parents, I'd like to take her somewhere for an afternoon, even if it's just to the park to feed the birds. Luckily for me, my clone also finds it fun to feed the birdies. Win-win. 

Visit desert botanical garden

I mentioned not wanting to see the desert botanical garden during the spring because I wanted to see some greenery, but such is life. I live in a desert and obviously the local botanical garden is going to reflect that. I'm still not really here for it, but I'd like to see if there's any kind of plant or shrubbery I haven't seen before. I guess I could make it a day trip and check it out. 

Try something new

This is a very vague entry, but that's entirely on purpose. I just want to try something new, get out of my comfort zone a little bit. It can be hard for me to expand my horizons with high anxiety and low funds but that's exactly why I want to keep trying at it. How can I work within my limitations to continue making strides with confronting my agoraphobia and social issues? That's the question I try to answer when I want to find new things to do. It's a little different for me if I name a specific location, like the desert botanical garden. It still makes me anxious, but at least there's a destination in mind from jump. This kind of entry leaves the door of possibilities wide open and forces me to fight my anxiety and the structure it demands with a little spontaneity, which I miss. It's as exciting as it is scary. 

Go to Plaza Film Festival

This has been a goal of mine for so long that it annoys me to still have to include it on the list. August is one of my favorite months for three reasons: 1-back to school sales, 2-TCM's Summer Under the Stars, and 3-the Plaza Film Festival. The PFF is a classic film festival that my city has every August at our downtown plaza. We have some films that are shown outdoors, which I love, airings of films in the university's auditorium, guest stars who do panels, and it's just a really fun event to check out. I've been wanting to go since I got into classic films nearly a decade ago, but either anxiety or my pockets intervened. I'm still dealing with my high anxiety/low funds situation but if I have to put a little money away just to go see one film, I'll do that. 

Be a local tourist for a day 

I want to say this was on last summer's bucket list but I didn't get to do it. It might sound like a cool thing to do if you're in a car and get to come and go at your own leisure, but since I'll likely be taking on this challenge via the bus, it sounds a bit scarier to me than anything else. Because I'll be going to unfamiliar locations, obviously this brings its own level of anxiety. Going by bus means I can't leave when I want if I start feeling off and when I do leave it'll be a process to get home, so this makes it a bit worse. I'd love to do this as a solo adventure because that was kind of the point with this entry, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. I'd love to, though. There are so many new things to see in the city. 

Make a fruit-infused lemonade

I love fruit-infused lemonades. I think I like the idea of making them more than actually drinking them. lol I love lemonade and the different variations you can get; strawberry lemonade is my favorite by far. But I wonder what it would taste like minus the artificial flavorings and syrups, not to mention its the perfect drink for summer (that isn't soda, of course lol), so it's something I want to try out. 

So that's my list. Pretty simple, I think. That should make it easier to finish. lol Do you have anything you'd like to try, do or see this summer? By the by, what do you think about seasonal bucket lists? If you find yourself in a rut, do you find that they help pull you out or does it add more pressure to do things for you? That was the rapid fire round of questions. lol Let me know your thoughts and I'll see you soon!

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Throwback Summer Soundtrack

Hi! So as promised back in my Hello, Summer. post, here is one of the music-related posts I was talking about. As I mentioned, I went back to the radio to find some new songs to listen to this summer but haven't had too much luck. As a result I've been listening to a lot of throwback music, which gave me the idea for this post. It was a lot of fun to create and gave me probably the most random playlist I've ever had.

So what is the Throwback Summer Soundtrack? While I was going through my music collection back when I was doing my spring cleaning, I found so many songs that took me back to various times in my life. Like many people, music is like a vocal snapshot of sorts for things I went through, emotions I was feeling, a time period of my life. I can listen to certain songs and they immediately remind me of a smell, a particular day, or an overall feeling towards something going on at the time. I was already going to put together a throwback playlist of songs from the '90s so I could listen to that for the summer, but then I thought, what would a playlist look like if it revisited a larger chunk of time? So I blocked out 10-12 years and for each year, I'd have to come up with a song that represented that summer for me. It's interesting to go back through the playlist then and reminisce about where you were for each year you chose. So what does my playlist look like?

Here's my list. If you just want to check out the playlist, then my time with you stops here. lol If you want to hear a bit about where I was or why I chose the song, then you'll be here for awhile because you know I talk a lot. So with that being said, I chose the years 2002-2015 to go back through, which would sound like a long time period to choose but I needed the songs. 😄 So I'm sorry. Let's get to it. 

(2002) Summer before sophomore year

1. Points of Authority--Linkin Park

This entire album was a large part of what defined my freshman year of high school. If I were to ask my friends or classmates what Linkin Park song they'd use to define their freshman year, they'd probably say Crawling or In the End (and I would have agreed, at one time) but I much preferred PoA over the others. I was angry (but not super angry), rebellious (but only in my mind--I'm a firstborn, overachieving people pleaser and giving into that rebellion would have stained my nearly flawless record LOL--so as a result, rebellion was limited to my mind), and like any other angry, emotional teen I gravitated to music that I could identify with. I couldn't scream, rail against the system and be as vocal with what I was going through--which in retrospect, was a healthy combo of teen bullshit and heavier shit at home--and I identified with the anger I heard in the tone of the lyrics. This album was on repeat for a good year and a half after I got it so now it's one of those records that, no matter what track I play, immediately takes me back to my 14-15 year old self. 

2. Control--Puddle of Mudd

Puddle of Mudd debuted shortly before my freshman year was over, and while I loved Blurry, Control was my shit. I would wait...and wait...and wait for the local rock station to play it so I could get it recorded on tape (Yes, I'm that old). While they played Blurry with some regularity, Control was a rarity, which drove me insane. I'd have to wait hours, sometimes even days, to hear it again because at this time, most of the radio stations still had a basic understanding that in order to keep the audience, you've gotta keep 'em waiting for the really dank shit. They didn't wear out every popular song. It was a little harder for me to wait because I was hardly home and when I did catch it I either wasn't able to record it or I caught it halfway through, so this annoyance very quickly became infuriating. Then I bought that blessed blank cassette tape and waited. LOL

Now during this summer, my angst had switched from just life and boys to one single boy. I'd had my first high school crush, and he was about as disinterested in me as...well, as men are now, really. Anyway, he really became off-limits after dating my best friend and sleeping with her during this exact summer (the former--and the latter, by default--was partially my own fault; I was friends with them separately and after they both expressed interest in the other to me, I hooked them up...which led to them knockin' boots) and since I'd never told anyone how I felt about him, I just bottled it up and suffered in silence. He's actually the one who showed me Blurry, so when I listen to it I remember all those hormonal feelings of baby heartbreak.

Control, however, had a grittier, angrier sound and I preferred that. I think it represented the phase I'd gone through afterward, which was an immense amount of self-directed bitterness. On a petty note, it was also a dumb rebellion in my eyes because I wasn't listening to the song he showed me, I found this one all on my own so he could shove it. LOL Idiot. smh This is another song that immediately takes me back. I enjoy the song on its own though, so thankfully I can still listen to it without feeling some kinda way.

(2003)

3. 21 Questions--50 Cent

This summer always makes me laugh, especially in contrast to both the summer that preceded it and the one that will follow, because the song choices--and where I was--are so drastically different. I wasn't the angry, rejected bum from the previous summer. Now, I was in loooove! lol At this time, I was a couple of months into my very first relationship and the feels were so intense I thought I was going to burst. During a very steamy evening spent necking (Necking. What am I, 60? We were making out) on my couch and watching MTV, this song called 21 Questions came on and we immediately felt that was our love song to each other. It makes me giggle now, but at the time we thought we were so deep with our love. Nobody else in our circle had their own song. But we did, so we were better. 😂😂

Lemme tell you, I Dos Equis'd the fuck outta myself with that relationship because while I call myself names self-deprecatingly, I do think that generally speaking, I'm an intelligent gal. I'm not always stupid. However, when I am stupid, BOI am I fucking stupid, you don't even know. Anyway, I went to the public library and printed out the lyrics from this spiffy new thing we'd gotten called the Internet so we could put them in our little couples' notebook. I even stole some construction paper from my child development class so I could pretty it up with hearts and cutesy stuff. LOL Jesus H. Christ. In retrospect, it was adorably pathetic. But can I listen to the song today? Nah. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It would be remiss of me not to include it though, so here it is. 

(2004) 

4. Nolia Clap--Juvenile

I remember this summer vividly. My life had snowballed out of control and this is when I was starting to recover from it. In about two months' time, I'd lost my boyfriend, most of my friends, my identity (such as it was back then), and nearly lost both my family and my life, all for loosely connected reasons. I was going through a lot, which would probably require its own post if I were to ever go into detail about it. But on the flip side, I was getting ready to start my senior year, I got my first real job so I could put money away for all of my graduation costs, and because of the events that previous spring I was free to just enjoy my final year of school. A more reckless, independent side of me came out in full force during this summer. I was already a bit of a party animal but this time of my life primarily saw me at two places--work or the club, both on the weekends. My friends and I created a system for the nights I had to work before we went out, and we got pretty damn efficient at executing it so that I could still party. Going dancing was my escape from life, so I escaped as often as I could during this summer.



(2005) Summer after senior year

5. Summer Wit Miami--Jim Jones ft. Trey Songz

✋Listen. I'd just turned 18, graduated from high school on time with no kids or debt (yet) and was headed to university 45 minutes away from home. I'd made some superficial upgrades to my appearance which helped loads with my confidence, realized that my body was looking right, discovered Myspace LOL and learned that there were benefits to being 18 and single. In short, my life was falling into all the right places and you couldn't tell me shit. West Texas is a far stretch from Miami, but some of the lyrics in the song resonated with my entire group at this time so it stayed in our pre-club playlist. When I hear this song now, it always takes me back to that first summer of actual adult freedom. And it was fucking glorious.



(2006) 

6. Destiny--Zero 7

As you'll soon realize is the custom with this playlist, every summer my life is drastically different from the one before and after it. The previous winter had killed off quite a few things in my life, so the overwhelming theme for the following spring and this summer was change, and lots of it. None of the plans I'd created the previous summer had come to fruition. My college plans fell through because of continued mix-ups with my paperwork, forcing me to withdraw my enrollment, and this was discouraging by itself but anxiety put a deeper dent in all of my plans. This time, she presented herself as agoraphobia, which I hadn't experienced, and this threw me for a loop.

This was part of the reason why my friends and I started to drift apart; boredom with the club scene had already pulled me away from partying but having anxiety attacks every time we went anywhere became a factor and as a result, my friends eventually just stopped calling. A hastily planned move to an unfamiliar area for safety reasons happened around the same time and as a result, this summer found me quite stressed and disillusioned. I found this song and it was this quiet, sad ballad of love, which I understood. I wasn't heartbroken anymore, but I was lonely, overly anxious and depressed. I couldn't really do anything for awhile, so I drowned myself in whatever I could--tv, the 'Net, books and music.



(2007) 

7. Gimme More--Britney Spears

There's really no other reason I included this song other than the fact that I liked it. lol I think I'd always been a closet Britney fan, but I wanna say this was the first song she came out with following her breakdown and a part of me was like, "Hell yeah, you do that shit!" because I thought I'd understood what she was going through (I didn't, but I would soon learn lol) and was glad she was trying to rebuild her life. I related to that. Also, this was just a fun song and I needed more of that in my life.


8. Kiss Kiss--Chris Brown 

Again, I have no reason for including this song other than that I just liked it. I would also like to note that this is the only Chris Brown song on this playlist. lol



(2008)

My anxiety relapsed in April of 2008, which was the catalyst to me starting my now-closed blog based on my daily ins and outs of living with various anxiety disorders. I often felt like I was on the verge of losing my mind and if I'd continued on the path I was heading down, I would have lost my life as well. This was a horrible time for me, so listening to music was the absolute last thing on my mind.



(2009)

9. The Storm Is Over Now--Kirk Franklin

If you're unfamiliar with Black gospel music, then the name Kirk Franklin probably won't ring any bells. Sandwiched between hip-hop and RnB songs is a gospel song. Super random, huh? lol This song was directly related to my relapse the previous year, which I'd started to emerge from, and I'd recently found a support system in some of the members of my mom's church. The worst of my relapse had passed, but the only two places I felt safe and relatively anxiety-free were at home and church, so I divided my time between the two. Nighttime was the worst for my anxiety, so I'd listen to gospel music because it was soothing to me. This song came on one particularly rough night and it immediately moved me to tears. My anxiety attack went away, and I was calm for the remainder of the night. I don't know exactly how to describe the feeling that came over me but I felt comforted, like I wasn't going through it alone anymore. It couldn't have come on at a more perfect time. From then on out, if I was awake at night panicking and this song came on, I felt better afterward. I've since fallen out with that church and most gospel music has lost that note of resonance with me, but this song will always be special because of how it helped me.


(2010)

10. Unthinkable--Alicia Keys ft. Drake

Yet again, things have changed quite a bit. In winter 2008 I joined a virtual reality site, mostly because I was isolated and starving for some kind of contact with other people, but it ended up being so much more significant to the direction of my life. I explained that to say that I met someone on that site way back then, but our paths were only loosely connected until this summer, when they finally crossed. This person will dominate my next couple of music choices, so consider yourself warned. At this point, I was getting some closure from a previous relationship while he was realizing that his relationship had come to an end, a conclusion that ironically, I'd be making about him a couple of years later. We were only acquaintances during this summer so it was nothing romantic, but I remember this song sticking out to me the first time I'd heard it and thinking it was just because I liked it. A few months later, shortly after summer ended, the song took on new resonance because we fell in love. Falling in love with someone across the country, who you've never met, who was fresh out of a relationship was an illogical, unthinkable thing to do on several levels, hence this song. The entire thing smells like disaster waiting to happen, doesn't it? And it was. lol



(2011)

11. Fall For Your Type--Jamie Foxx ft. Drake

This isn't exactly a summer song and I'd actually found this the prior winter, but I recall still wearing the everliving shit out of it this summer. It didn't help at all that for me, this was a definitive song for the relationship I was in at the time, and during this period we were going through what I later dubbed "The Summer of Hell." Judging by the song I chose for this year, you may have assumed that there was a lot of crying being done. You'd be right.



(2012) 

12. All I Want Is You--Miguel ft. J. Cole

At this time, my relationship had taken a very sharp turn left and downhill simultaneously, and I knew definitively by this summer that it was failing but was trying my hardest to hang on. I didn't want the relationship to be over, I just wanted my partner back. I found this song and again, it spoke to me. It, in both the title and some of the lyrics, was a literal expression of my feelings, and the beat, which sounds raw and a bit gritty to me, was a reflection of how I felt inside. So I have a tiny flair for the dramatic with my descriptions. lol



(2013)

13. Diced Pineapples--Wale ft. Drake/Rick Ross

I wouldn't say I was healed completely from my breakup by this time, but the season in my life had totally changed (no pun intended). Something had shifted in me on a number of levels between the previous year and this one, and I felt like by this time, I was looking at the world through a different person's eyes. Life was drastically different for me this year, but it wasn't entirely bad. Maybe this isn't the greatest song to define my summer as it's literally about sex and a maybe unhealthy relationship lol, but eh. It's usually the song that comes to mind first. I was seeing someone new at this time, and those two things unfortunately were foundations of our situationship. Oh well. It was still fun. Also, my friend's husband (who is a mutual friend of ours and actually the person who introduced me to this guy) does a hilarious Rick Ross impression and he got me and dude doing it too, so this song always makes me giggle a bit.


14. Adorn--Miguel

Adorn was another song I listened to on repeat. It was much lighter than the songs I'd been listening to but still had that RnB sound I was looking for. When I think of this song, I think of the happiness and newness surrounding my life at this time. My relationship had shown me that I was a woman, but this new chapter had shown me that I was an adult as well. To the normal person those two things would both be obvious and synonymous with each other, but they weren't to me because of how much time and milestones I missed due to my anxiety. I wasn't used to making decisions as a grown woman; most of my decisions required me to think from the viewpoint of financial head of house, or caregiver, older sister, or girlfriend, but I'd always been too sick (or there was no opportunity) to think for just myself. I got a taste of that during this chapter, which helped me validate why I'd left my previous relationship. I finally got to experience life for a little while as an independent adult, and this was a significant change for me. Even the mundane things, like sleeping over at dude's house, going to the grocery store to get dinner for 2 instead of 6, taking day trips, seeing new places, had this extra spark to them because I'd never gotten to do them before. I would be here all day if I explained exactly how it felt, but this song always reminds me of that time.



(2014)

15. Chocolate--DWNTWN

I first heard about this song while I was watching a CutiePieMarzia video on YouTube (she just goes by Marzia now) and the minute I heard it, I fell in love with it and the band. It's actually a cover of the song Chocolate by The 1975, but I have to admit that I prefer the cover version to the original. Chocolate is a light, breathy song that represents everything I would have never listened to 3 years prior, but it's exactly why I chose it for this summer. There were so many shifts going on in my life at this time, from who I surrounded myself with to what I was doing with my life to the music I was listening to, and this song always reminds me of that summer of change. It seems that summer is always the catalyst for change in my life, huh? It always reflects the changes that took place in the three other seasons. I hadn't realized that until I was putting this playlist together.



16. Lean On--Major Lazer ft DJ Snake

I still love this song. It has this contagious beat that never fails to put me in a better mood, which is obviously everything I'm here for during the summer. Like I said, this was another summer of change and I really needed something to put me in that season's frame of mind. This song always encouraged me to get out and enjoy my day, to go get into those vibes. lol



(2015)

17. Cool for the Summer--Demi Lovato

I wanna say this was a theme song WWE used for a Summerslam PPV and that was where I'd first heard the song. This was my first completely man-free summer in 5 years, which felt amazing. lol I'd tried a new experiment with my sister that year called #SisterSummer, which was supposed to be about us tackling our summer bucket lists together. It didn't go how I'd planned, but it was a fun concept and this song reminds me of that.

If you made it this far, I love you. It's kinda mind-blowing when you think back on how much your life changes year by year, isn't it? I think this type of topic has the potential to open up all kinds of dialogue with the people in your life and helps you to get to know them better. It could segue so many ways--how in one year, two people can be in totally different life positions in general, how the same song can make people feel completely opposite emotions (for example, while the song Unthinkable had special meaning to me, my ex hated the song because it came at the tail end of his previous relationship and reminded him of that) or how people would describe times in their lives with different genres. Point is, I think this post can create such a fun conversation and I hope that's what it does for you.

But I've yammered for long enough. And would you know this is the condensed version of this post?? I've gone back through and trimmed it several times to try and shorten it and will probably do so one more time before I publish it. So again, I'm sorry you were here so long. What's your Throwback Summer Soundtrack look like? Let me take a peek at it in the comments. If you'd like to explain them, go right ahead, but even if you don't, put together your own playlist and post it below; I'd love to see. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you soon!

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RRNT Summer Lookbook

Hi! So I have a passion post of sorts for you today. I hardly ever do anything related to fashion aside from the bit I'll include in my seasonal inspiration posts every year, but since I'm short of products to review I thought it was a good time to try something new. I thought I'd do a little fashion lookbook, to 1-see if I could actually pull it off, and 2-give me something to do. I did eight different outfits, each one focusing on a trend I mentioned during the inspiration post, so I guess you could consider this a follow-up of sorts. I hope you like it!

Outfit Details:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

I mixed the trends of mesh/ribbed tees and athleisure in what I think makes for a cute, sporty-looking outfit that you could wear to an outdoor show or to the mall. While I like how the white pops underneath the black tee here, I wanted to keep the look primarily black and have pops of white throughout the outfit instead. I was originally thinking of Yeezy Boost 350s for this outfit but when I saw these shoes, I thought they'd pair better with the feel I was going for.

In keeping with the '90s vibe I tried to put into some of these looks, you could pair this with a small white backpack, just to keep things in the simple color palette of white and black. You could wear a plain white hat with this if you choose to wear a hat at all, but this one completes the look for me. The little cactus detail on this one was just a little nod to where I live.

Outfit Details:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 

When I was active on ATV and focusing on vintage fashion a lot of the time, I found playsuits. I think the modern interpretation of a playsuit would be a romper, but I'm hearing the former name come up a bit more, which I like. The primary color of this playsuit looks to be a pale pink, but I wanted to play with the color I saw in the floral detailing. I thought pairing the outfit with bright accessories would complement the muted color of the playsuit and keep the look appropriate for summer but still fun.

Enter the pom-pom sandals, which I'm surprised I like because as late as probably last fall, I still wasn't here for them. lol But I saw this playsuit/romper and knew immediately that I would want pom-pom sandals with it. They're playful, colorful, eye-catching and take gladiator sandals up a notch so I thought they'd be the perfect addition to a simple outfit like this. I kept the colorful theme going with the orange and pink tassel earrings to play off of the hints of orange and pink in the floral detail. I added a simple crossbody bag with a chain link strap and two-tone sunglasses so I could add a bit of yellow to the look. Overall, it has a vibrant look to it and I like it.

Outfit Details:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. Whereas many people like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter, I much prefer St. Patrick's Day, 4th of July and New Year's. This is the holiday where I usually go all out--in March it's warm but there's not much to do since I don't drink, and in December its way too cold to do anything but dress up and stay inside. lol The 4th of July is when I can put on my corny holiday headband, cookout, enjoy the weather, have a good time and wait for the fireworks show. I usually have some kind of party or big cookout scheduled for the day and I'll even try to find something new to wear for each year.

I love 4th of July at a level that probably isn't logical, but who gives a shit. To me, the day represents freedom (such as it is) and having said freedom to enjoy the simpler things in life--food, family/friends, fun and fireworks. OAN, I love that most of my favorite things in life start with an F. So does my favorite swear word. LOL As for the outfit, it's rather basic. It's something simple that I can move comfortably in, still look cute and show that, all things considered, most of the time I love my country. Speaking of which, bonus points to you if you recognize the reference I used with the name of the outfit. lol

Outfit Details:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

I really like gauzy looks for this time of year. Our summers can be brutal so even when wearing form-fitting lightweight outfits like maxi dresses, it's still highly likely you'll sweat right through them. But wearing breezy everything isn't always the greatest idea either as it can make you look bulkier (and in the case of big tees, they hold in a lot of heat!) so I've found that balancing the two is a bit better.

This is my take on the gauzy trend for summer; I initially struggled with the shorts because they're so high cut and I don't want my ass hanging out, but I realized that's just the style. Anyway, this pair of shorts actually has a matching top (which I do like) but I wanted to break up the color a bit so I subbed the top for a white spaghetti strap camisuit, tan gladiators and gold jewelry.

Outfit Details:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

At the deepest part of my soul I think I will always be a '90s kid, and with that here is my favorite outfit of the bunch. I didn't watch all of the shows profiled on this tee but my all-time favorite show, Hey Arnold!, is on here so I had to represent. lol This is a slightly cropped tee, which I liked better for this shirt rather than fitted or oversized. Again, I kept the accessories simple--a distressed dad cap, white runners (that reminded me of the black Adidas back in the first look), a yellow fanny pack and a tri-level choker.

The last two accessories were where I decided to add color to tie both the theme and the look together because I made the shirt, which is pretty colorful, the focal point of the outfit. Except for adding maybe a smiley face backpack (which I am proud to admit I owned until last year lol) and a matching anklet, I think I captured a lot of '90s fashion, at least the parts I noticed the most. The older I get, the more I worry about age-appropriate clothing but at the end of the day, you're as young as you feel. And a part of me still feels 10 years old sometimes. So this outfit is both a nod to my childhood and a 'welcome back' of sorts now that '90s fashion is back in. 

Outfit Details:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 

(The links for #4 and 5 are to external shopping websites as both have since been removed from F21's website. I'm unsure of the reliability of purchasing from either site but wanted to include a link anyway so that you'd be able to see them)

This look answers a couple of trends I wanted to include in the lookbook in both the vintage tees and cuffed shorts. I initially wanted to pair this shirt with regular ripped cutoffs but I didn't like the way it looked so I went with these shorts instead. As I mentioned during the Inspo post, I've been into vintage wrestling tees so if I'm gonna kick it old school, I have to go with my all-time fave in HBK. It looks to be a dark gray shirt so I took that as my color inspo for the rest of the look. The rings and shoes are both gray and the ring set has a vintage, textured feel to it that I thought meshed better than the polished jewelry you'll see in some of the other outfits.

Outfit Details:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

I had a whole scenario in my mind when I envisioned what I wanted this outfit to look like. lol I designed the outfit around the maxi skirt, which is the trend I wanted to tackle. After I couldn't find the top I was looking for, I went with this crop top instead. I wanted something basic, off-the-shoulder and form-fitting for the top so that the skirt could be the focal point of the outfit and since this skirt has a white underskirt, a white top made the most sense. 

I wanted bits of nude and peach throughout the outfit so I kept the jewelry in the blush/rose gold family and went with tan gladiator sandals as I thought they'd look better with the outfit than peach or gold gladiators. I'm a bit obsessed with matching shades and didn't want the hassle of trying to match a colored shoe, so I kept it simple. I wanted this to look softer than some of the other looks, and I'm pleased with the end result. 

Outfit Details:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

This look is right up my alley. I love the other seven looks and would wear all of them, but to be truthful I'd be more prone to wearing this one. I remember mentioning some time ago that my personal style was more 'slouch chic' than anything else because it primarily revolves around my comfort level rather than style or aesthetics. West Texas is unbearably hot and dry during the summer and I'd much rather have on thinner, looser fabrics than something thick and/or too tight. With so much gray and white the look initially ran the line of monochromatic, so I made the color addition more subtle in the earrings and sunglasses. I wouldn't bother with extra jewelry if I was wearing this outfit, nor would I want this huge purse or backpack to worry about.

The velvet mini backpack was both a nod to '90s fashion and my incessant need to take my entire house with me when I leave. I first started using larger purses and including a lot of things in them as a coping strategy for my agoraphobia (which I'm going to cover in full when I finally put out my post on anxiety) but even though I no longer need the same amount of items most times when I leave, I'm still dragging extra shit along. It's too hot to be out here dragging a 5lb. purse everywhere I go. This little bag is only 8" x 7" x 3" so I won't be able to fit much but my tablet and essentials in here, which I don't mind as I need to relearn how to only take the basics. But I would love to wear this outfit for a day of lounging or running errands. It has thinner fabrics, lighter colors, it's basic and it's comfy, and that's all I need. 

The fashion community definitely isn't missing anything by not having me in the ranks, right? lol Looking back over it, I guess I didn't include the most innovative or YT-worthy looks in the world, but oh well. Objectively speaking, is my style boring? Yeah, a little. Do I care though? Nope. 💁 I did at one time, and I was worried about not being more fashion adventurous, which is the main reason you don't see OOTD's from me. But now, ehh. I like what I like and I'm good with that.

I've been experimenting with different kinds of posts I could do while I'm waiting for my finances to rebound so that I'll have things to review, so this was a perfect time for me to try something I've been looking into for awhile. I've actually been wanting to do a real, YT-styled lookbook for quite some time, but my Empty Pockets contract told me to sit my ass down. lol Because I couldn't do one in quite the way I wanted to, I had to tailor the concept to fit me a little better and I think I had a bit more freedom this way to create the looks I wanted. This was way out of my comfort zone, but it was fun nonetheless.

This, other than the rest of the summer posts I have planned, is probably the most fun I had creating something all year. It's been a really difficult year for me personally and financially, and as a result I feel like I've lost my way a little bit. This wasn't a review, which I would have preferred if we're being honest, but it was the first time in awhile that I felt excited to build and publish a post. I'm sorry if it was boring or read like an unpaid advert for Forever 21. lol Now that it's out of my system, I'm good. It's nice to experiment every now and again, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't chomping at the bit to get back to my reviews. Maybe sometime soon. With all that being said, I've blabbed for far too long as it is so I'm gonna go. See you soon!

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